Why does my 2 YO DD seem like the naughtiest in the park/at the party?

[nicolamary]

My DD has always been challenging and has a voice that demands to be heard. I had undiagnosed Post Natal Anxiety for the first 18 months which doesn't do much for my confidence as a parent. I feel like I'm becoming a shouty mum and my gut instinct isn't helping me one bit. Problems are:-

High pitched screaming for attention
Screaming when having nappy changed/kicking
Pushing and hitting other children and us
Saying No to us (a lot)
Won't touch vegetables and only eats Banana and no other fruit
If we want her to walk with us she goes in the opposite direction and even when we are out of site she proceeds without a backward glance!

When she isn't doing the above she is witty, bright and funny and her vocab is amazing (over 300 words) but most of the time I feel like I'm doing a shit job. I'm no pushover but realise me losing my rag isn't getting us anywhere. I work full time and she goes to nursery 2 days and spends the other 3 with grandparents.

I'm starting to worry that she will be the child everyone avoids. Has anyone got any tips?

P.S she is a brilliant sleeper and sleeps 7.30pm till 7.30am everynight!

She is pushing the boundries which is normal for her age.You need all her carers to have a calm but clear approach.eg. no pudding or treats if she doesn't eat a good meal.I often say to my DC that I can't understand them when they speak in an unaceptable voice it works a treat.Everyone must get quieter.If she misbehaves in the park etc come home it wont take long and she will get the message.She sounds very bright and I am sure she is lovely she just needs you all to be loving and frim.

agree with fidelma clear boundaries, and make sure you are prepared to carry through whatever you say, for example, leave the park/party, don't give pudding etc.

I'd also use bribes, if she is well behaved while you are out then she gets a little something when you get home.

she sounds perfectly normal though

Thanks for all the advice. Tonight there was one very small tantrum where she wanted to come and watch me cook and when I didn't respond instantly she started to kick off. I just calmy asked her what she wanted and made her say please and thank you and it quickly diffused. She ate all her Spag bol and I grated carrot in it so she got a small treat afterwards and I tried to explain it was because she'd been well behaved and eaten her dinner but not sure it sank in.

I am firm when it comes to treats and she doesn't get one if she refuses her meals.

I'm just trying to avoid shouting all the time, but it is hard when you work full time and are juggling a million things and already feel like a bit of a crap mum! However, tonight was a good night.

Thanks Ladies