Afterschool club reporting inappropriate sexual behaviour - help!!

[WhingeBobShitPants]

Please reassure me as I am in a bit of a state

I am a regular - judgeflounce, fruitshoots, vaunda, moldiegate etc etc

DH just came home from picking the kids up from afterschool club (2 boys, 7 and 5)

apparently the play leader took him aside very seriously and said that our boys had been playing "making babies" and had been lying one on top of the other and pretending to make a baby etc

she seemed very concerned that it was inappropriate that they had so much graphic knowledge etc and had questioned them about how they knew

I have in fact told both boys all about sexual reproduction and they know about periods too - I've always believed in answering children's questions honestly and without embarrassment and ds1 had read Claire Rayner's "body book" (which details the sex act complete with illustrations) by the time he was 5

I am now crapping myself that this is going to turn into a child protection investigation and dont know what the hell I can do about it

apparently when asked ds1 said it was a game they play with their friend X - X is a couple of years older than ds1 and has an older brother, so it wouldn't surprise me if she had a fair bit of knowledge, but I'd never seen or heard them playing any such games

but I do remember a chat in the bathroom about 10 days ago where ds2 asked me how the daddy puts the seed inside the mummy so it can meet the egg, and I told him the truth in a very basic matter of fact way (ds1 already knew)

am I in deep shit here? we are both really rattled

oh poor you

I woudl go and talk to the after school staff, say you're concerned, explain again what you are saying here, ask them to keep you informed if the boys do it again and you can talk to them.

FWIW I think my dds would be/are capable of this sort of game. They know more about sex than many, they perused a book for far older children when very young and haven't forgotten it.

The careworkers were correct to speak to your DH,haven't read all your post so forgive me if it's alrady been said,i would try and speak to the children seperately and casually just to make sure that older friends haven't let curiousity get the better of them .

You want get into trouble. The playworker should nt have questioned the childrem Wehn I did a childprotection course. We were told if we had any cincerns about a child/children then notesshould be wrtten down but under no circumstances should a child be questioned.

thanks all, it seems the consensus is that we are not going to be raided at dawn by SS!

it's really scary even to be "spoken to" about something like this, I didn'trealise how much the paedo-hysteria had affected even me - I thought I was fairly sensible but my heart was in my mouth over this

I even thought "what if something HAS happened to our boys and we don't know about it?"

but that's irrational, really I'm sure it's just that they know all the facts and were playing an innocent game

bumping again in case Mamazon or any other MN social workers are around...

or afterschool play leaders

ok firstly relax.

even if the playscheme did reffer to social services, which if they haven't said they will they probably wont, then it will simply involve a SW coming to visit you and you explaining the way you have here how they have come to know these things.

Yes it is unusual for a child of tyhis age to be so knowledgable of the reproductive process but that doesn't mean its wrong.
you have chosen to educate them earlier than most andthat is your right.

I would sit down with your boys and explain that such games are not really very polite and shouldn't be played at school certainly.

Its one thing to understand the process but i think it takes a little more maturity to fully understand the social implications of this knowledge.

go to the school yourself and speak to the leader. let them know how you are dealing with it and indeed ask theri help in ensuring that this game doesn't continue.

you will be fine.

oh and just to add, it may be advisable to have a quick word with x mum.

if she gets a call about the same sort of behaviour and it comes about that she has picked it up from your ds' it may be a little worrying for her. far better for you to get in with an axplanation first.

Is it really unusual for children of 7 and 5 to have this level of knowledge? I find that a bit surprising...
Apparently I asked my Mother lots of questions when I was 4 and she told me about sex/how babies were made in quite clear language.

DS1 is 4 and he has started asking me about the differences between boys and girls, he is curious about how girls/women wee without a willy!

I would not be concerned by what has happened, IMO it is very normal behaviour for kids to act out things they have been told, am bit surprised by the reaction of the leader, and would reiterate, if asked, that its simply imaginary play...

i have worked for ss for 6 years (not now) and have worked with many kids in my 10 years and trust me this happpens often. The time i would worry would be if the language was very adult eg if it was clear they had access to porn or if the behaviour was forced onto a younger unknown child, was in the loo,s, when a child was asking anther to keep secrets ect.
PLease dont worry yourseld sick, and try not to push the kids t tell you.
Call ASC worker and explain as you have done hear and maybe talk to the boys about the fact that not all children know what they know and they are ok to talk about it at home.

HTH

I am surprised how many people think that these children are 'young' to have such info.

DD is 4 and knows the mechanics etc of making a baby. At her playschool last year there was a boy telling all the girls he was going to 'sex them on the bum', the playleader was not worried at all.