How should we handle this?

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

8 year old DS1 was showing us how he can ride his bike one handed but fell resulting in his bike smashing the end of 4 year old DS2's kitchen. It now has a very sharp edge and has been put out of the way for now.

DS2 is very upset.

DS1 just stropped that DS2 has broken his things and slammed his bedroom door.

I am upset as the kitchen cost a fair bit and it took a lot of looking to find it and I am fed up of them breaking things and not being bothered.

I told them this morning they were getting nothing for Christmas as they don't care about breaking things. I will give them the chance to earn things as clearly I was ott but I am really fed up with it.

end off

Poor all of you. Kids are wonderful things!

Don't understand though, why was this kitchen outside or the bike indoors? If it was outside it can't be that precious to you and if the bike was inside then I agree that that was a daft brainless thing to do but not evil.
And it does sound like an accident.
Don't agree with the strop the DS had but I do think that toys should be played with and used and therefore get broken.

Its a tough one, I guess I just don't get too wedded to my dcs toys being unspoilt. I do think that DS1 owes DS2 his pocket money for next week or something.

Problem is, not letting Xmas happen is the kind of threat I make when irate and then end up looking a bit of a lemon as it never gets followed up!

Go out, enjoy the sun and breathe!

I agree, DS1 owes DS2 his pocket money this week and then it is all over. Its only plastic, nothing you really care about like the flesh and bones of DS1/2.
x

Making rash threats like 'You will get nothing for Christmas' does not work IMO. It's too far away, deal with the issue now and forget about it.

It was clearly an accident, he didn't ride into it deliberately and is probably feeling that his one handed trick failed so spectactularly. I would get him to say he is sorry he broke the kitchen to his brother and leave it at that.

I agree, DS1 owes DS2 his pocket money this week and then it is all over.

cna you tape up the sharp bit?

Boys seem to be vey 'accident prone' - my DS is prone to testing his toys to breaking point despite constant admonitions to be careful with his things. Some accidents are unavoidable, but some aren't which are the particularly annoying ones!

Could you perhaps put some of their toys away, restricting what they have access too, so they have to 'earn' the right to prove that they can be careful and deserve to be able to play with them? You can then get toys out when you feel they've done well and want to reward them, or when they have an unneccessary accident, take a toy away. Then that could be more of a long term system and enable you to establish some rules, rather than the Xmas threat?

The kitchen was outside as the weather has been nice and he likes to play in the garden. It was expensive but tbh even if it wasn't it is the principle of him not caring that he has broken something.

I accept some things will get broken and if I see a book which has folded and creased pages I just accept at least it is a well read and well loved book, though torn books are a no no, but I just wish they would learn that things have to be looked after.

What age does that happen when your 8 year old tells you to buy another? I don't.

No pocket money to be docked but it is on my list of things to sort out.

He probably does care very much inside, but doesn't want to lose face by showing it. He may yet come out with an apology, if that's what you want.

Your DS1 does care, or he wouldn't have stropped off and slammed his door.

It was an accident...boys have them...lots.

I understand you're really annoyed, I would be too, but I think it's the price you pay for having boys. I've just gone through DS1's room and thrown a way a huge amount of destroyed toys.

(And I bet no one has complememntd Ds1 on his bike tricks, have they, which he was hoping for)

He was in a strop because he was told to put his bike away.

I care less about some toys being broken but DS2 loves that kitchen and we have great fun playing with it.

Can see why you are annoyed but if the kitchen was outside then that is completely different. If the garden is somewhere he normally rides his bike then it is just a silly accident and it is really sad to be too upset with him.
Had it been indoors it would have been a quarrantine the bike for a couple of days punishment.
I'm sure you would rather see the kids mucking around in the garden than stuck safely infront of the TV not causing any damage.

All kids love that one handed trick. It just takes perfecting, as he has learnt! Just imagine the damage they will cause when they start the free wheeling no hands thing.

The kitchen was on the patio and there is a huge lawn for him to ride on, that is part of the issue. They know not to ride on the patio.

You may be able to fix the ktichen with lots of gaffer tape, maybe splinting under the break with some wood strips.

TBH, I think you should maybe apologise to DS1 for threatening christmas, and then say that you need him to apologise to DS2 for breaking his toy. Take it from there?

Oh, if he was riding on the patio against orders, I'd take the bike away for as long as you can stand it a couple of days.

It all happened so quick otherwise I would have said not to do it right there.

DH is taking them out to ride their bikes tonight and we will have a talk then.

It is my fault for spoiling DS1 was he was small.

That is different, if he was riding it somewhere he shouldn't then full wrath justified. No bike for a period of time perhaps.

Not going out tonight could be a punishment but I want to start afresh and there have been a few times when we have said no to going out the front on their bikes.

And to say there are 1000s of books on being a mum but none that fit my family .

If he already knows not to ride on the patio, it's not your fault that he 'forgot' - so maybe DH should just take DS2 tonight, and he can have the bike back tomorrow?

And then DS2 sees DS1 suffering consequences/feels better/learns a lesson for the future?

I am sure you are right but I just want to move on as I am sure DS1 did forget about the patio as it was a while ago I said it and also as it happened before school this morning, isn't it dragging it out too much?