Do you insist on your children doing sports outside of school?

[Cornflakemum]

We have two DSs. Neither is particularly gifted in sport, but both are strong and fit, tall for their age and capable on the sports field.

If we left it up to them, neither of them would do any sport outside of school, but DH and I feel that they should, so have more or less said that we want them each to have at least one sporting 'hobby' that they do at weekends.

DS2 said he would continue rugby, which all his friends go to. Today was the first day of the new season, and from 7 a.m. to 9.30. a.m. he whinged constantly about not wanting to go/it not being fair/ how he hates it. DH took him anyway, and when he came home he was happy/ bouncy and had had fun with his mates (as we knew he would).
This pattern will now be reapeated every Sunday for the next 30 weeks .

It feels like the right thing to do, and if he hated it we would, of course, stop going, but the Sunday morning 'battle' is so wearing, I sometimes think why do we bother?

Roisin - yes, that's a very similar situation around here too. It seems madness that so many kids are 'written off' by the age of 7 or 8, especially when they can physically change so much and develop skills/ strength etc at this age.

DS1 has just stopped playing rugby for this very reason (also why it's now harder to get DS2 to go!).

Our two seem to be much more 'individual' rather than 'team' sports players - they like cycling, swimming, tennis etc. That's great, but the problem is that at this age they're a bit more labour-intensive for DH & I, and I also don't want the kids to get alienated from their classmates and friends too much. Team sports are most important at infant/ junior level I think, after that everyone sort of finds their own niche anyway.

I think parents might 'know best' sometimes but if the parent makes teh child do it (or not do it) then that rarely works.

Gentle encouragement, asking (not telling) them to give it another two months and then decide tends to work better.

That's really sad, Roisin.

I always thought the great thing about kids' activities was that they enabled everyone to take part, unlike school, where, certainly in my day, the teams were picked in Y7 and stayed the rest of us dicked about feeling pointless for the next five years.

My DSes rugby teams have a policy that if you turn up for the match, you get to play.

Not always popular with competitive parents, but the coaches just won't have kids on the sidelines for a whole game.

I think it's impressive, and instils loyalty in the young ones, helping to keep them loyal as they get older and tempted by teenage distractions.

And my impression of their judo club has been that everyone is striving to do their best - some have obviously done competitions and gained belts, but this doesn't impinge on the session.

ours have to do gym class. ds1 whinges like mad but it's good for him. he can do it a while longer before I let him drop it. he's got the rest of his life to do his own sports stuff - I'm going to have a bit of input while I can. ds1 wouldn't do a thing if it was up to him. we made him go to football club as well and now he's obsessed with football.

you know your child and you want to do what's best for them - sometimes that's not the same as what they'd like to do.

Bella - It sounds like age makes a big difference between yours and mine. Ours are still too young to go out to the park on their own, and there are only a limited number of kids in our street. They do play in the garden, but get very bored of just each other

I honestly don't think my 7 year old knows what he wants, or what is good for him - he would spend all day on his DS and eat chips and ice cream if he had the choice!

I'm not at all wedded to rugby BTW - it could just have easily been tennis or football etc, I just wish that, having committed to it, he would show a bit more enthusiasm. I'm sick of being Big Bad Mummy - I'm sure I could quite happily lie in bed on a Sunday morning.....

I know exactly how you feel Cornflakemum. We had something similar with DD and her violin.

Give him the option to forget about it or tell him if he wants to continue you will support him (by getting out of bed on a Sunday morning).

If he chooses to stick with it, don't let him get away with moaning - simply remind him that it is his choice.

Roision do you have SportsCoach near you. This is a 3 hour session on a Saturday which IME caters for those who are not "sporty" or who get into school teams easily etc but who do wnjoy having a bit of a run around and to try out a ew different activities. It is great for building self esteem for boys and girls who otherwise would be sidelined due to lack of skill and my DS absolutely loves it but loathes with a passion rugby footie etc at school.

My husband used to take our son out to sporty activities when he was very young and is very enthusiastic and made it seem fun like something they could share. Was great watching DS turn into DH perfect 'mimi me'....

Might be the age thing - not starting them off early enough. I remember skiing trips with DS on a leash at 3!