Anyone else have children who fight, argue, bicker, winge at, and about, each other and tell tales ALL THE BLOODY TIME?

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

I have had enough.

It is really really getting me down.

The boys are 4 and 8 and my girlie is 6.

oh my god! only another 13 years to go!!

6 months?!?!?!?!?

please make mine a large one

Fab Baker Girl - How To talk is excellent / Siblings Without ... is okay - better if you have How To Talk, as they share similar ideas.

They are quite cheesy American but full of good, practical common sense.

You have my sympathy. Mine are 10 and 12 and are like cat and dog.

I was the same with my brother. I think it's just nature.

ummm ive had enough of the fighting already and there only 5 and 2!

think its time for the psyc unit to be put on the speed dial. cos by the sounds of it ive got another 11 years of this!

oh lovely.

it's just so exhausting, isn't it? it's not like they don't like each other as i know they are perfectly capable of playing really well. i suppose you just have to choose your battles and decide when to intervene and when to let them get on with it. as long as no-one's getting hurt i try to ignore.

it's when i hear myself begging them to stop that i know things have gone too far....

They are all in bed

I have thrown mine out on to the street (small village) while I have a glash of whine.

Do your children behave the same with friends on playdates/sleepovers?

Dd is an only, and I find bickering erupts after she's been with friends for a few hours. Once they've settled in with each other and the initial thrill of being together has worn off, the 'battle' for dominance begins....

Mine are angels at school and better at the inlaws.

Mine are in bed to.

Now for wine and X Fator

dh and ds1 (12) were away for 4 days last weekend. I wasn't very well, so I didn't "do" a great deal with ds2 (10). It was vaguely amusing watching him around the place looking a bit lost because he had no-one to bicker and argue with!

When he arrived back they both seemed genuinely pleased to see one another, haven't argued/fought so much, and have done more plotting/conniving together!

Next year they will both be at the same secondary. Whilst I don't expect them to see a great deal of each other during the days, they do need to get a service bus there/back. So I'm hoping they'll be getting on sufficiently well that I can trust them to wait sensibly at the bus stop without fighting.

I have DS age 8, 4 & 2 and OMG do they fight about everything and the constant telling tales aaarrrgggghhh

Have no answers but lots of sympathy - perhaps we should swap - they always behave for other people!

They haven't been too bad today..

Got very fed up with it all and had many shouty days , so I decided to see if it was all me getting my knickers in a twist and I just needed to see the glass half full instead of half empty. I kept a running record of all the bickering and other lovely things that happened, including name calling and gratuitous insults. The DCs' names were down the side and days of the week went across the top. I ran out of space on Monday and again Tuesday, so I got a piece of paper for each day, and filled them all up. Then I showed them all the record and told them it was ridiculous. They were a bit ashamed and we had a talk. I did most of the talking. They have really tried to improve a bit since then, but it's a hard habit to break.

I thought I had escaped this.
My two DSs were such good friends and played together so well until.....DS1 reached puberty. They are now 11 and 13 and DS1 is evil to DS2 and I hate it. It seems he can never say anything nice to his brother and constantly puts him down. He wouldn't dream of speaking to me the way he does to his bro.
I always thought they got on so well because of the 2 year age gap and I am still hoping that when DS2 grows up to the next stage ie puberty, they will revert to being best buddies.
Mathanxiety I like your idea, I may try it to illustate how their behaviour makes me feel.

i think how you model good manners is v imnpt - not saying you are all rude to each other but bickering parents often produce similar kids.

ALso I encourgae them to imagine how the other person feels if there is a disagreement and then to go and sort it out. If someone by mistake knocked the other person i make THEM console them

The Siblings Without Rivalry book doesnt crack it for us, alas. I suppose it's quite good at teaching parents how they can make sibling rivalry worse, but there's lots it just can't address.

Mine are getting worse as they get older, we had no sibling rivalry problems at all when they were only little.

Well, in our case that isn't the reason as DH and I very rarely argue and I think ours fight as they are quite close in age so often want the same things. And 3 little ones and I mummy is not great odds.

I have tried pointing out how much they are hurting now that X has done Y to them so when they did the same to X, how do they think X felt. It goes over their heads atm.

i used to tell mine " go away not intrested"

its only any use if you have an audience

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

"i don't care"

kinda takes the steam out of it

I have started saying that too custardo and they seem quite pained by it.

Custy that is EXACTLY what I do. "MUuuuuummmmmm ds2 is feeding chalk to the cat!"

"get out of the kitchen, I'm cooking."

"But-"

"Out. Out out out."

i do that too custy.
'whatever trevor' as my answer gets them giggling.

i just try not to get involved unless theyre properly trying to kill each other.

in your face grace

don't be grim jim

shut yer mouth ralph - although that ones a bit tenuous depending how you say it