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Original poster

Funerals

10 replies

mummynumnum · 05/09/2009 07:20

DH, nanny has just passed away. Only way I can go to funeral as long way away is if DD (3) goes. Is 3 too young to go to a funeral?

OP posts:
justabouteatingchocolate · 05/09/2009 07:51

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Original poster
mummynumnum · 05/09/2009 07:57

I think she would prob be q lively and not sure if they will tolerate. Dont want to offend by not going either.

OP posts:
justabouteatingchocolate · 05/09/2009 08:06

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Oxymoronic · 05/09/2009 13:10

We took our DD to a friends funeral when she was six months old, just because we couldn't go if we didn't. Although it's diff with a three YO ie more questions etc, it's the 'disruption' question we wrestled with. She did start making a noise half way through, but my DH just took her out while I stayed in the service.

The situation may be different if it's close family and I would be more inclined to take my DD along at 3 YO, but that's just my opinion.

GreenPenguin · 05/09/2009 20:23

Maybe sit at the back and be prepared to bale. You'll be there for the wake and everyone would love to see her, I'm sure.

millenniumfalcon · 05/09/2009 20:25

sit at the back, take colouring for the service, everyone will be glad to have her at the wake.

millenniumfalcon · 05/09/2009 20:26

sorry gp, just seen you already said the same

GreenPenguin · 05/09/2009 20:30

great minds

Concordia · 13/09/2009 23:42

we took my DS (aged 3) and DD aged 9 months to a family funeral. Very sadly the funeral was for a young woman so there were several children there (including her own aged 2)
They had arranged for children to be at the back of teh church with carers and there were some toys there. We brought our own too. As it was a family member on my side, i sat at teh front and DH at the back with DS and DD.
But it didn't work well as i don't think we had prepared DS. The atmosphere freaked him out and very uncharacteristically he started to throw felt tips around and was removed before the coffin arrived.
I ended up taking a very hungry DD to burial (but didn't breastfeed until after) and then all went to the wake which was fine. We didnt' really have many other options as it was along way from home.
The other children (apart from our DS managed fine though.

Concordia · 13/09/2009 23:45

DS didn't ask many questions and i decided not to explain what wasn't asked given his age (just 3) and the horrible circumstances.
but the next week he said ' I didn't like that church mummy'
It wasn't fun for him but hasn't scarred him for life and we just explained that sometimes you have to do things that aren't that fun.

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