Any mums with RA and toddlers?

[beckyboots]

Hi,
I had no idea that this site was here and that it had a section for disabled parents.I as begining to feel like hens teeth! I wish I'd known sooner! I have RA, Fibromyalgia and a very active 23 month old son. I would love to hear from other mothers in a similar situation and pick your brains for how to manage toddlerdom and stay somewhat sane and in one piece! Am currently having real problems with curious toddler running off in town and not being able to pick him up anymore or chase him! He won't wear reins, or a wrist strap and trying to get him into his pram is becoming a huge fight! Any suggestions gratefully recieved!

Would your son sit on one of those trikes that have a parent handle? The good ones have a full harness, but maybe he would take to it as a toy rather than something to keep him safe?

I haven't got RA, but have recently been diagnosed with cervical spondylosis and nerve damage lower down my back that was probably caused by the car crash I had when my children were toddlers. I didn't cope well at all back then, we rarely went out!

Hi, I have RA and have twins, it is really difficult and very frustrating at times. One of twins was really good and listened to me from an early age, the other didn't so had to restrict my outings to where I knew they would be safe. My twins are now 4yrs and life is alot easier. I tried to encourage my children from walking age to be as independent as possible and because I couldn't be as physically active with them as other mums I spent alot of time with them playing games and talking, this has really paid off. Life does get easier as they get older and they soon learn fast that you can't do things and will often be more than glad to help pick things up tidy etc. Possibly look into getting some help on outings either from friends or a voluntary organisation such as HomeStart.

Edith makes a really good point about SureStart. Do get in touch with your local branch. They are supposed to help with things like getting your children to play sessions, etc. Perhaps if you can get your son involved in those he might have less energy to run off when you go out?

I have Psoriatic Arthritis which is quite similar to RA. My DD is 14 months and just on the verge of being able to go out wearing reigns, wrist strap etc. She has been walking for 3 months now.

You can always ring the helpline for Disabled Parents Network -- they might have some better advice for you. Their website is:

www.disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk

Hi i've only just found this thread but yes....I have a 2yr old and RA
I do find it hard to cope, I also work full time in a stressful professional career so I haven't really made life easy for myself.
Actually work can sometimes be a godsend, as my son is in a fab nursery all day , where he gets to be boisterous and active all day and burn off some of his incessant energy. Its difficult and the main thing I have done as a coping mechanism is relax.....I can't afford to be an uptight parent, my son has learnt to be very good with lots of things very quickly.... safety as I couldn't cope with any of the child safety locks etc so we didn't have them, he learnt to do stairs quickly, we have no stair gates and I can't carry him that well anyway, he's getting better at picking up toys, and i can't afford to get too upset about mess. We have a cleaner so the precious time I have with my son is for us, not mess.
We went through a phase of running away but he's generally quite good, we've taught him about roads, it took patience and quite a bit of shouting but he has got it, and I always carry bribery for the days I'm really stuck
sorry gone off on a bit of a ramble here....I hope you have started to manage a bit better but please let me know if you want a bit of sympathy, empathy or any suggestions
Chrissie

Hello,

Well I have suddenly crashed to earth with a bump. I have a lovely little baby boy, he is 2 weeks old and was born premature because I am petite and have had arthritis since I was 15 months old so my skeleton is not exactly a hardcore sturdy machine! I have the usual physical limitations bla bla bla and find quirky ways of doing every thing but this is a bit new, I am having to learn at the speed of lightening how to do things my way for my little boy's care. Now I am also a Psychologist so we are the most anxious people around no doubt and I reallllly want to get him out and about and around other babies, also for my sanity it would be nice to know other mothers, at the moment my husband is being all things to me but he really can't talk about sore boobs from breast feeding etc, all of my friends are career obsessed lovely people but not child orientated at all. Oh my hubby by the way also has arthritis.

Surely there must be someone out there or some organisation where I can get a person with a high level CRB check, to come out with me to help me lift my little boy out of car seat, into fiddly buggy,into building and then for her to put baby in my arms where by I can then manage? I make friends easily so I wouldn't need this said person forever and a day because I am sure some lovely mummy would give me a hand.

I live in the Gloucestershire area so any ideas would be fantastic guys.Would rather leave the local councils out of it if possible because half of the workers there are doing a bit of work for an early retirement and like to spend a large percentage of their time around my husband and I talking about their expensive kitchens they are having installed or how they don't work in winter because they feel it in their bones...hahahahahahahaha oh god!

Many thanks to you all and can I just say mumsnet has been the only real useful source to a disabled parent, far more useful than any odd professional I have come across,still if any one has a burning need to share with me about their granite kitchens I am getting used to sounding interested back :o)

sunny - are you still checking this thread? have you thought about direct payments? i live in glos and have arthritis. i have a lovely person who i employ under the above scheme