If your DC has a comforter (soft toy, blanket) do you control the use in any way?

[Othersideofthechannel]

If so, how and why?
How old is your DC?

Do you work for the Spanish Inquisition, McD?

OP - I'm sure your child's comforter isn't actually dirty, I still don't like the idea - it makes me cringe. But like I said, I realise this is my own personal opinion/hang up and you did ask.

Optimistic, DD has been at school (école maternelle)for the last 2 years. Last year she didn't take the soft toy at all, the previous year was more like a nursery. He was kept in a special basket and only available at nap time.
She seems to be just as dependent as 2 yrs ago but it feels like more dependent because she is older IYSWIM.

I do understand. Presumably as she goes up the school and doesn't take naps etc she will have to leave it at home. I wonder whether your DD thinks of her 'doudou' as a real person? I know my DD did and would get most indignant on her cot blanket's behalf!! I can remember laying a place at the table for 'her' at one point. It then developed into a 'family joke' as she got older. When I suggested cutting a bit off for her my DD was utterly horrified! I suppose I'm just trying to say ,from the perspective of a mum with teenagers, that although it feels a big thing now it won't be in the future. Your DD obviously just needs her comforter at the moment that's all....

Otherside my DS1 has a bunny which is his 'doudou' and he has unlimited access, which I'm fine with. He has two so we can wash them occasionally.

The taking 15 mins to get to table though sounds like she is playing you a bit though, I'd be tempted to crack down on that in your shoes.

I've stopped ds (7) taking 'nuffle' to school!! He was sneaking this tiny flannel toy into his bag.

Partly I don't want him to be teased, but mainly, I don't want nuffle lost. He is irreplaceable!!!

My 13 year old has just gone off to a sleepover with her bear in her bag!

My ds is 8 and has "loshie" - a very tattered silk scarf who lives under his pillow and only comes out at bed time and a dinosaur that usually stays in bed, but comes out to be chatted to in sad or tired moments.

Can't see any reason to ration them - apart from the risk of loss.

Yes, she had to leave it at home this year. But every single day it is the first thing she asks for as soon as she sees me after school.

I can see that she needs a comforter for bumps and sleeping etc. But I find it difficult to accept she needs a cuddle because she got two drops of water on her T-shirt or because her brother took a piece of bread from the basket before she did (when she wasn't even at the table because she was taking sooo long to wash her hands because she had to have a cuddle beforehand and afterwards).

Does anyone else get the comforter hampering normal activity though? Is it really necessary (as DD claims) to cuddle your comforter three or four times during a meal when you are nearly 5?

My DS1 had a silky (silk scarf) which he lost interest in around 7. It did used to be a nuisance eventually so once he was about 4 I restricted it to bed time and that lessened the dependance.
DS2 is 11 and still has a blanky at bedtime. I see no reason to stop this , I doubt he'll take it with him when he leaves home. When he was 9 he went on cub camp and I offered to tuck blanky in the bottom of his sleeping bag where nobody would see it, but he bravely decided to survive without it.

Do you think it's become a bit of a 'control'/attention seeking thing with your DD? Sounds a bit like when a child refuses to eat/use the loo. All those things that a young child can control their parents with. Just a thought...

Possibly, but I haven't told her how much it annoys me although when I find her lying down and sucking and it turns out she's hungry or bored, I tell her that it's going to make her teeth stick out and that she should come and find me and tell me when she is hungry or bored.

Am going to tell her it is becoming a problem and see if we can establish some limits together a la 'how to talk'

DD1 never had anything (well, a dummy - that was restricted to sleep only after about 1yr old)

DD2 has had a dummy and is very attached to a specific teddy bear. I cannot imagine restricting her use of him as she completely adores him and it is a complete source of comfort to her. She doesn't have him all the time by any means, but I wouldn't think to say "no" to her having him

My only fear is when she wants to take him out and about with her I she would be DEVESTATED if he got lost [blind panic emoticon]

Both DCs have one (diferent types) and both have un restricted access to them.
Eldest DS is nearly 4 and is still very attached. Cant imagine restricting it from him tbh.

dd has a dummy and a blanket. there cannot be one without the other. she is 2. I restrict use to bedtimes and quiet times. eg if she wants her dummy and blanket, she has to sit on the sofa with no toys. She can have them in the car or pushchair because she is doing nothing else iyswim.

If she wants to play she always gives them to me first and then goes to play. Lots of well meaning people have told me that the dummy at least should be restricted to bed, but really WHY would I do that? other children suck their thumbs/fingers whenever they want to, surely a comforter is the same, whatever form it takes.

Seriously, if it bothers you do somethign about it. If you are worried more about what other people might think, then (IMO) you need to put aside your concerns and do what your daughter needs.

But, well, dd is only 2 and I might be in your position in a few years, so don't take too much notice of me

I don't care what other people think.

It is bothering me and I wondered whether other people have the same problem.

Anyway, I have had a chat with DD who come up with some ideas for avoiding using her comforter so we'll see how it goes.

DS 4 has a blanket he cuddles and sucks. He would happily carry it around all day so the rule is its for bedtime only. If he goes and gets it out of his bed (as he has done since he moved out of his cot) I say 'if you are tired and want your blanket you can go to bed'

We've got to get rid of it though as he has an overjet. But that is for another thread!

Sounds like you've got a plan!
Hope it goes well