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Parenting

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Original poster

Tips for learning to ride a bike?

73 replies

JHKE · 24/08/2009 14:37

I just wondered whether anyone had any tips on teaching children to ride their bikes without stabilisers.

I am trying to teach My dd who is 4 in Oct. The thing is she can do it, when I've let go and she hasn't realised she rides it fine but then she realises that I am not holding her stops peddaling and promptly falls.

Its getting incredibly frustrating because she doesn't want to do it, spends the whole time crying even though I've told her she has just done it. I am also getting angry with her.

I don't want to give up but I also don't want to get angry each time. I want her to enjoy it as well and for me to enjoy it with her.

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Mutt · 25/08/2009 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juuule · 25/08/2009 12:23

Just read your second post.

"She has a promise of a new toy once she has managed it. "

What?

Personally, I'd just leave her to it. If she wants to try, she will.
I think that you are making far too much fuss about it.

Original poster

JHKE · 25/08/2009 12:47

MmeLindt She didn't try till towards the end. That is all I ask that she tries.

Mutt did you not read the part where she was falling off her bike WITH the stabilisers on because she was getting speed up. So I either keep her off her bike altogether or I try and get her riding without stabilisers.

To me giving up is also giving the message that its ok to give up at first hurdle, if I did that at everything then nothing would be acheived. I also think it gives the message that I agree she can't do it... She can the only thing lacking is confidence.

My son was the same crying cos he couldn't believe that he could do it, then he did it and the sheer joy on his face was lovely.

I would rather she enjoy it, when we sit at home and talk about it she is quite happy to give it a go. We get padded up and walk the 5 mins with bikes to the stretch of path and that is when she gets fearful.

Whats wrong with promising a toy when she has done it? Its a treat to look forward to, something to aim for, she has already picked it out. Tell me what the negativity is with this?

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Original poster

JHKE · 25/08/2009 12:54

She didn't actually spend the whole time crying today, she did enjoy 'catching' Nanny.

OP posts:

juuule · 25/08/2009 13:02

What's wrong with the toy?

Why would she want a reward for achieving something that she wants to do? Surely if she was successful in riding the bike that would be reward enough for her. It sounds as though you are paying her for something that you want her to do.
Your son was delighted to be able to ride his bike. Did he get or need a reward. Or was he happy enough with his personal achievement?

"To me giving up is also giving the message that its ok to give up at first hurdle"

It's not 'giving up' it's waiting until someone is ready.

Tortington · 25/08/2009 13:04

i couldnt ride a bike til i was 12 my mum dispaired.

i now happily ride on my larvely bike

Tortington · 25/08/2009 13:05

talk about hothouse

juuule · 25/08/2009 13:07

My 6yo has just taught herself this summer and is now happily riding around pretty pleased with herself
No input from me.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 25/08/2009 13:09

poor child

Blackduck · 25/08/2009 13:10

"Towards the end I think she realised that we wouldn't go home until she tried so she seemed to try a bit more. So I am taking this as a step forward."
A step forward for whom? If they are not ready, they are not ready. I think you could destroy her confidence, not build it if you carry on like this...

Mutt · 25/08/2009 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

JHKE · 25/08/2009 13:15

Yes my ds did get a toy. It was enough to get him going. After that he wanted to do it.

I take it then that the general consensus is
that I am being mean to my dd.

Unfortunately parenting doesn't come with a manual. It doesn't tell you what to do in certain situations. I don't have many friends so can't take my cue or advice from them. There are lots of times when I feel I am a crap mother, and right now you lot are reinforcing that so therefore I must be!

OP posts:

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 25/08/2009 13:17

jhke - sorry if you feel crap but if your wee girl is crying just leave it a while. it is meant to be fun.

Original poster

JHKE · 25/08/2009 13:20

Mutt we did go back to the bike shop where we brought it cos she fell off pretty much straight away and they said that this is how they should be. One wheel off the ground.

OP posts:

lljkk · 25/08/2009 15:19

Sorry you feel got at, JHKE (sucky feeling, isn't it?)
I think maybe the problem with toy-as-reward is that that alone is putting too much pressure on. She desperately wants that toy.

Maybe a small toy for trying today and no talk of a toy in future?

With my DC 3yo would have been too young to learn the lesson about not giving up at the first hurdle. They were too mastered by their emotions to learn that lesson before age... 6 or 7? So please try to take this in the nicest way, but I think that it's probably too early for your DD to learn that lesson, too.

Can she get her feet FLAT on the ground, this is the important part, not just touching, but solidly flat on ground while bottom is still in seat? Even if that is true, she will need to be a self-confident mood to make it happen, you can't orchestrate that. Has to be very laid back approach ime.

Could you take the pedals & bottom bracket off completely, a DIY pedal-less bike? DH wanted to do that.

MmeLindt · 25/08/2009 16:24

Sorry if you feel that we are critisising you, I don't want you to feel that you are a crap parent. You are obviously not.

I do feel that your DD needs more time to feel comfortable on the bike. And without the pressure (however well meaning)

Don't take this the wrong way, but she is still young to learn the "not giving up". It is not giving up, it is accepting that the task she has set herself is a difficult one that will take a LOT of practice and patience.

I agree that the reward for learning to ride the bike should be the actual achievement itself, and not a toy.

As I mentioned earlier, you can reinforce this by saying at the dinner table, "DD was on her bike today and she went for 10 seconds on her own!!" Obviously you have to prep your DH so that he says, "WOW!! That is fantastic! Why don't we have an icecream to celebrate?"

Do you see the difference. She is then rewarded for her efforts, not by getting a toy but by getting praise and attention from her parents. That is much more confidence boosting than a present.

Original poster

JHKE · 25/08/2009 17:01

Hi thanks EleanoraBuntingCupcake, lljkk and MmeLindt. When something has been acheived I am usually on the phone straight away to dh and let the dc tell him of their achievements so we always praise it big.

Well I wasn't prepared to give it up just yet so said to dd did she want to go out on her bike but instead of peddaling, try walking, I gather this would be a start to scooting and couldn't explain it any other way. She was up for it, so we went out and she got on her bike happy and she walked and enjoyed it, she even did it half way back home too. So pleased about this as it was stress free and enjoyable.

Checked the seat and its as low as it will go, shame really as it looks like it could go another half inch but the pipe is too long if that makes sense. We do have a smaller bike - just checked we still have it, so will get that out for tomorrow. She has said she is happy to go on that.

So a positive end to the day.

OP posts:

lljkk · 26/08/2009 08:53

Glad you feel better, JHKE.
I texted DH (very rare for me) when DC4 ate a banana, recently (DC4 doesn't normally touch fruit).

Scarletibis · 26/08/2009 09:52

My daughter went without stabilisers at 6 and got it quickly and fairly painlessly (ie not many falls). Before that she probably had the coordination, but didn't have the confidence.

Don't really get why you're so worried about her doing it NOW...?

thehairybabysmum · 26/08/2009 09:57

My ds is4 in dec and rides a bike with stabilisers. He found the brake really tricky though for his little hands so DH has adjustted it so that it is easier for him to pull the handle. It is now set so that the brake handle is nearer to the handlebar when the brake is off, so there is a shorter distance for his fingers to have to pull the lever IYSWIM.

Since this he can operate the brake easily and it has really helped his confidence, he zooms along now as he knows he can stop easily if he gets fast.

Could this be an issue for your DD too?? As she is young her hands might be quite small too??

FrameyMcFrame · 26/08/2009 10:12

my daughter was 7, I agree with the previous posters about scooting. You can buy those little wooded bikes with no pedals now. Wish I had known about them for DD.
IMO, stabilisers are a waste of time and I won't bother with them for DS.

Molecule · 26/08/2009 10:14

I think riding a bike is all to do with balance, and this is something that cannot be taught, it is more one of the things tied into development. A child is either ready or isn't and it cannot be forced.

With my four I found a scooter was an excellent way of them having fun and getting the hang of balance whilst feeling safe. Make it fun, don't make an issue of it and by the time she's
5,6 or even 7 she will suddenly be riding the bike.

ellielou02 · 26/08/2009 13:05

Hi we have just bought a new bike for our nearly 5 year old daughter who has been riding her bike without stabilisers since april, I just held on to her as you have been doing and letting her go, did this for a few days on grass as she felt more confident then got her to start off on her own and then her friends would have their bikes so she would just play about and eventually got it (I think having friends riding their bikes helped spurr her on a bit). Anyhoo when we were buying her new bike the man in the shop had these new bikes called "scoots" basically a small bike with no pedals, the thinking behind it being as others have said the DC can get their balance then try a bike without stabilisers ( the bike shop man said DC shouldnt have stabilisers on their bike for more than a month as they rely on them) so dont know if this helps but good luck she will do it.

paddingtonbear1 · 26/08/2009 13:26

my dd is 6 and still has stabilisers. She can ride much better now but doesn't yet have the confidence, and has shown no desire at all to get rid of them. If I'd known about balance bikes when she was young I think I'd have got one!

Original poster

JHKE · 26/08/2009 13:56

Well got up this morning and she saw the small bike and wanted to go out there and then! we didn't but we have been out this morning. At first she walked on the bike then she peddaled with me holding on and NOT letting go. She was happy with this so will continue and see how it goes. It was enjoyable which is what I was aiming for. She has asked to go back out but I have said enough for today.

Someone mentioned about brakes and I looked at that yesterday, on her bike they do look like they need adjusting so will do that. I also while she was 'walking' and peddaling today, told her to keep braking and putting feet down to make sure she is comfortable using them.

Someone asked why I wanted dd to ride her bike without stabilisers, well because dd asked to take them off. She wanted to be like big brother. I guess I had pushed too hard because she was sooooo close to doing it, in fact already going a couple of meters before she realised I let go. I have taken a step back she seems to be more confident.

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