So I finally had the birds and the bees talk with DD1 8 years old...

[Slickbird]

And it was after a very hard day with our 2 year old and 5 month old, failing to find school coats etc and then she decides to ask me in the car on the way back when I'm totally exhausted. I had been holding off for a few years (especially amazing, as just had two kids in the last 2 years!) and I was actually quite pleased at how casual and scientific I made it all sound. I even managed to throw in periods.

She seemed remarkably unfazed by it all.

Thank God that's over.

Anyone else get asked at a random moment?

Sorry that shock was at Whizzy.

Bloss - that was my DDs response to how the baby gets out - 'don't be silly Mummy, how does it really get out?' !! Cue lots of laughter.

DS1 (4.5) is fascinated by this at the moment as I am pg with #3. He was a CS and DS2 a normal delivery. I have a rather graphic pregnancy book (Birth and Beyond) and he loves lookingat the photos and illustrations.

I explained that it was a bit like having a pooh - big mistake and loads of hilarity ever since.

I have explained about Mummies having 3 holes etc. What I'm really stuck for is a word for vagina. I know this has been the subject of endless MN discussion I just refuse to call it front bottom or vagina. Hey ho.

Fortunately he has not yet asked how the baby got there or DH's involvement.

Still I have progressed from my earlier conversations wiht DS1:
DS1: playing with winky age 3 at the time
Me: leave your winky alone (for the tenth time
DS1: why
Me: it will fall off - what do you think happened to Mummy.

Hopefully he won't ever remember that conversation

I find DDs shortened 'gina easy enough to say and not too far removed from the official word

I have being trying to talk to dd1(9) about it for ages , she has a book but she put it away until she is old enough to read it apparantly it has rude words in!

We had the talk when DS1 was about 4, and for a while there he was a bit obsessed with wanting to see other children with their clothes off .

The other day, in a womens toilet, DSs noticed a condom machine, and asked loudly what it was. Cue everyone else in there going extremely quiet to listen to what I was going to say .......

I ushered them out and explained about sex not just being about making babies etc. That was actually a more difficult conversation than how babies are made, and culminated in DS2 (age 6) saying "Do you and daddy do sex ?"

DS1 (age 8) looked a bit sick when I said yes .....
(previously, he's told me he's never going to do it )

BTW, this thread has given me a good giggle

slickbird how old is your dd?

ignore me just read title properly!!!

oh god, this reminds me of the time, not so long ago, when ds1 said to me "When we get home, you and dad have a special cuddle and I will take a photograph"

wtf?

Hecate

The daughter of one of my friends offered to hold her dad's willy when he had a wee.

Agreeing with whoever said JJ should be ....
Girl first brought up the how are babies made/born conversation about 3 years ago. We were living in a block of flats where three women had babies within about a month of each other. Shehad seen the women get bigger and bigger and then seen the baby's. Getting out the shower one mornign she said 'I know babies grow in your tummy, but how do they get out?" Being experienced at her questions, I asked her 'how do you think?' she said 'through your belly button'; I agreed that this was a sensible exit route. She proceeded to scrutinise mine and told me it was too small. Being artful, I said the doctor had cut me a bit to enable her exit. She's happy. A fortnight or so later, again following a shower, she bent down and said
'what's that?', I said, it's where you came out of my tummy'. she said, well that's not your belly button is it? I told her that things start to go southward once you are old.
She was happy!

Hecate

Leisurely Re: JJ. That'd be me.

I have to confess tho, that the conversation kinda skimmed the actual getting down to it business with a perfunctory 'and the man puts his willy in the woman's vagina, that's the hole the baby comes out, (and then moving swiftly on..) do you know, the sperm that come out, it is actually a mammoth race for them and really amazing..." etc etc

I expected her to go, "Wait. Can we go back to the bit the bit where the man puts his willy..?" But she didn't! I'm sure there'll be more questions in time.

Whilst driving, 3 year old dd asked where she came from prompting egg and seed talk.I explained that she was born with all the eggs she would ever need.This followed six months of clutching her stomach every time the car went over a bump and begging the driver to slow down and not break her eggs.Fine when it was daddy driving a little harder for others to understand. The sex talk was at about age6.She'd just started riding lessons and I think she had heard bits at school.And managed to come up with "If I had sex with a horse what would the baby look like?"Now with hindsight I should have just said that won't happen but I was so taken aback I started a crazy babble about horses and donkeys crossing and producing asses.Needless to say I bought a book very quickly,which I have to say was very popular, so much so that she carted it off to school for her teacher for show and tell

I'd previously told DS3 (then 5) about the 'special cuddle' that Mummy and Daddy had when they made babies. He was quite happy about it at the time, but the other night he asked me out of the blue if he could watch us do the special cuddle. I tried to look unfazed and just said 'erm, no.' He then said 'can I watch one day when you and daddy are a bit less busy?'
Like us being 'busy' was the only reason I wouldn't let him spectate! Made me feel quite bad actually, as if I'm always saying 'no, I'm too busy!' to everything he wants to do! So I just said it was a private thing that people did when they were alone together. He accepted that, but had quite a few more questions, like 'do you do the special cuddle standing up?'. Not for a good few years, actually!

I didn't wait till they asked we've talked about these things for a while. DS 4 and DD 2 are well up on sperm, eggs and putting willies inside front bottoms

It made for some laughter with this new pregnancy, which is twins, as DS keeps asking the sonographer about two willies making two babies... lol...

he also whispered to his step-dad - "did you put your willy in mummy's front bottom to get those baby beans?" lol

This thread reminds me of a joke:

Little girl comes home and poses the question, "Mummy, where did I come from?". Oh no, thinks mum, had to happen sometime and embarks on 'the talk'. Little girl listens politely but somewhat bemusedly. At the end she says, "Thats all very interesting mum, but where did I come from? Cos Susie says she comes from Colchester...."

the much more difficult question is - when do you have the talk about the reason for you glossing over the "rude" bits?

I'm not sure most people ever have that talk, but it'd save a lot of misery in the world if someone explained to kids that the reason sex is shrouded in mystery is that intimacy is surrounded by feelings we don't really want to articulate and behaviours we don't really want to discuss.

There were (eminently sensible) girls at school who seemed to get that kind of idea from their mums; but our mum didn't ever discuss that kind of thing... cue a lot of rampant behaviour from ever-increasingly miserable siblings who didn't understand why, when or how to just slow down a bit