I'm not really after any advice as I know I'm exhausted and this phase will pass. I just have no-one around to talk to and just need to tell someone how I'm feeling.
My DS is 6 weeks old and we've just returned from hospital where he had Bacterial Meninigitis, we were on a ward for seven days. During this time he had to have a huge amount of horrible injections in order to get the antibiotics into him. I lived with him in a tiny room on a put you up bed. The antibiotics gave him a really sore bottom and this made him scream lots. We're home now but having to go to the hospital each night to have the antibiotics for another 2 weeks. I'm incredibly grateful that they caught the menigitis very early and he should suffer no after effects.
I'm having problems now because my DS is wanting to constantly feed or be held and I am finding it so hard. I'm desperately trying to continue breasfeeding but have had to give formula at times due to tiredness and the hospital visits. I have another DS who's 2.5 and he's been really affected by this time and the stay in hospital I had for the c-section. I feel such a rubbish mum as I have no time for my eldest and he's just watching telly all day. I feel I've distanced myself from the baby and seem to feel angry and resentful of him rather than loving and caring, I know I'm angry at what's happened (even though I should be grateful). It's so hard.
Today has been my second day on my own with them both as my MIL had to go home and my husband is back at work.
Sorry to moan I just needed to share it with people who've been there with a screaming baby feeling like you can't go on another minute, but yet you do.