Unconditional Parenting practitioners - come and answer my questions please

[TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff]

Have read Unconditional Parenting, agree with most of it, would like to use it as my parenting method if possible. But I have some questions and would like to know how UP has worked for others please.

1. DS (only child) is only 2.3. Is this just too young to use UP?

1. Any views of whether boys respond well / better than girls?

1. Are there times when reasoning / talking / waiting just don't work - and if so what do you do then? eg yesterday I wanted to go out so ds had to put his shoes on, but he wouldn't. I said I would wait unitl he was ready and he could tell me when he was ready to put them on (we were going to the playground at his request!) but he just didn't want to do it and in the end I had to grab hold of him and shove them on his feet under protest.

1. My reading of the book was that UP is stand-alone, and shouldn't be mixed with other methods. But are there times that you've gone down the time out / reward chart route?

What about very serious things - eg ds almost ran into the road (massive A road roaring with traffic) today and was right royally bollocked as I just didn't see any other way to get it through to him that this must never be repeated. Could you use UP methods then?

TIA - and also thanks for all thoughts and experiences on how UP has worked for you. I do totally get it in theory, but don't see how it will work in practice all the time.

sorry dressed not dresses.

Otherside, thanks, yes, he was fine with the swimming. He's not scared at all and has recently decided for himself to take the armbands off and float on his own. We have tried lessons twice before with no success - he did it but learnt virtually nothing. But that fact that he's now wanting to swim without floats and is older and better at listening meant that I felt the time was exactly right to "push" the situation. I didn't consult him before as in ask his opinion, because I know for certain he would say no, because he never wants to do anything where he has to follow direction. I just told him he was going to be swimming and why it's important to be able to swim. He is so strong-minded it's virtually impossible to talk him round with logical reasoning. I didn't attach the "bribe" to him doing well etc, only that he could get the treat on the last day, i.e. he needed to do the course! However even if the vending machine hadn't been there I would still have made him go into the pool, that just helped the process along! Maybe sounds a bit mean, but promise you he's not at all scared and loves it once he's in! He goes from "I don't want to go! I don't like swimming!" to 5 seconds later literally jumping right into the deep end!