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Original poster

Is my ds the only who doesn,t have a football strip and who doesn,t go to football

42 replies

crazyashell · 04/08/2009 09:14

My ds isn,t absolutely crazy about football but I do think that alot of the influence on this comes from parents.
We as parenst are not big football followers and never go to any matches and it isn,t something I have ever encouraged my ds into.
He is 8 and I have more so encouraged his interest into wildlife by sending him to wildlife clubs and going on wildlife events.
I am aware that on the occasions that I have sent him to football that all of the children have the latest football strip and they all support a team, and that they all play football every week and are in a team.
Am I doing my ds injustice by not making him one of the in crowd.
He of course doesn,t have the same push and enthusiasm and skills as alot of his peers who are fanatic about football and I feel a bit guilty about not encouraging him more.
He has on many occasions gone into a football club only to lose interest.
He also tells me that some of the children at school protest if he wants to play football with them becasue they think he is crap.
Are we as a family odd in that we are not football fanatics and don,t support anyone and take no interest.

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MANATEEequineOHARA · 04/08/2009 10:52

Indeed, mine do all kinds of things, but in general they don't play football, and I am very pleased about that because personally I hate it, and the ones who do play it after school are never seen to do anything else.

hippipotamiHasLost54lbs · 04/08/2009 10:57

I too have seen this Manaa. The dc's schools sit in a large - ish park and after school the same crowd can be seen to play football. If there are not enough children to play football with these children will slope off and come to their parents wingeing about being bored. Errr - there is a playpark, 2 tennis courts, a basket ball hoop, a large field, and countless trees for climbing in.
But no, no footie means nothing to do.

Add to that the horror stories of one dad headbutting a dad from an opposing team during a match for under 7's and you have to wonder where it all went wrong for football.

Buda · 04/08/2009 10:59

Manatee - my DS would be one of those I am afraid. But he loves it. He has had tennis lessons as well and does drums and cookery as after-school clubs but he just loves football.

I really don't know why boys get so obsessed with it but a lot of them do.

One of the boy's in DS's class is the son of a professional footballer who does football with them as an afterschool club once a week in his own time. And if he is around afterschool (which he is most days) he plays with them then too.

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flashharriet · 04/08/2009 11:29

You are talking about one-dimensional children - it could be (and often is) computer gaming, programming, any kind of sport not just football etc etc. I think the attitudes displayed on this thread say more about the parents' prejudices than anything else. I suspect there wouldn't be so much bile involved if all they wanted to do was make up plays together .

sarah293 · 04/08/2009 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kittybrown · 04/08/2009 11:44

I really wouldn't mind if my DS liked/played football. I agree flashharriet it's when the obsession takes over but it also has a lot to do with attitude.
There are one or two boys DS knows that we'd class as obsessed but they can understand that not everybody is.
It's about the sense of belonging and boys tend to base themselves on their sporting ability. I think the trouble starts when you get a few boys who need to belong to a tribe more than most.

flashharriet · 04/08/2009 11:59

I completely agree with you kitty and that's where we should be stepping in as parents to tell our kids that it's fine not to like football (or anything else) and it's also a good idea to have a spread of interests as it leaves you open to having a wider range of friendships. We have a few boys who are obsessive about football in DS's year - tbh the other boys deal with it pretty well; they play when they want to and don't if they want to do something else. But DS is going into Yr6 - maybe a lot of this disappears with age and maturity? Ds has been given a very hard time about not having played particular Xbox/PS3 games (we don't have one) so I don't think it's just the footballers who are capable of bullying and exclusion.

hippipotamiHasLost54lbs · 04/08/2009 13:46

But a lot of parental prejudices may come from what so called adult 'fans' display. It is (or appears to be) mainly football fans who beat up rival fans. It was England's football fans who had the worst reputation at international matches.
Sadly there seems to be a neanderthal element to a large number of football fans. And if these parents then encourage the same behaviour in their children then you get the 'I am better than you because I play football and support XYZ' attitude.

So whilst I am in no way saying that your ds's are like this, I for one can see that behaviour in a handful of children at ds's school and I am sooo glad ds stays well away.
And that is my perogative.

HappyMummyOfOne · 04/08/2009 19:33

DS would play football in the garden but shows no interest in it other than that. He prefers baseball and table tennis.

He doesn't own a kit and donesnt watch it on TV apart from the odd international match if DH is interested. DH isn't a sports fan so its rare its on TV here.

If asked if he supports a team, he'd probably copy his cousin but wouldnt have a clue who the players etc are.

I'm quite glad, hate the news re fans fighting and the whole wag culcture / horrendous wages so not having to go to football matches suits me fine.

piscesmoon · 04/08/2009 19:41

It is nothing to do with the attitude of the parent. I was a single mother-hated football, never watched it-not even the World Cup and was very loathe to kick a ball around with DS. He joined a football team at 6 yrs and practised until he became quite good-went through to under 17's in teams, played for the school and is an ardent football supporter. Married DH (after my DS had become keen)I had 2 more DSs and one has always supported and played-very keen but the other has no interest at all-doesn't support or play.

Dottoressa · 04/08/2009 19:46

No, my DS (7) isn't in the slightest bit interested in football in any way, shape or form. He doesn't watch it, play it or wear it. All his friends are sports mad, but he's quite happy to be interested in his own things, and his friends seem to like him that way. I think they're encouraged to take an interest in one another's interests at school (iyswim). DH watches Match of the Day and quite likes international rugby, but it doesn't seem to have rubbed off on DS! Personally, I'm quite glad as I don't care for the polyester-footy-shirt thing...

shivermetimbers · 04/08/2009 19:52

Mine adores football and has had season ticket from the age of 5 (now 11)but also does many other things.Each to their own.

TheCrackFox · 04/08/2009 19:53

DS1 (8) has absolutely no interest in football either. Doesn't play, watch or own a football strip.

I find it a bit bizarre how boys who don't like football are deemed a bit weird.

Are girls all expected to like ballet?

TBH I am very glad as I know plenty of families that spend thousands every year on season tickets, the latest strip and Sky sports.

shivermetimbers · 04/08/2009 20:49

Forgot to mention, mine is DD not DS.

random · 04/08/2009 20:59

My ds is now 16 a bit of an emo/goth/metal head would not be seen dead in a football shirt ....but loves to play football with his mates ... you can't generalise really can you

MANATEEequineOHARA · 04/08/2009 21:03

My anti football prejudice comes from the kind of people seen in pubs watching the game, and the way tabloid papers appear to act like football players are some kind of hero. Not the kids who play football after school, but I do find there limited range of activities odd, as flashharriet said though, this is not the only activity that becomes something of an obsession, but maybe it is the most visible of those that do.

southeastastra · 04/08/2009 21:10

not all football fans are loopy hooligans, like all rugby fans don't get drunk and put loo seats round their necks to sing some old school dirge

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