4 yr old boy who won't poo on the toilet

[Marcelle]

My 4 yr old son won't poo on the toilet but insists on using a nappy. When he needs to poo he hides in a corner only coming out when he's finished. When we've tried him on the toilet he just tells us it won't come out and is obviously holding it in...

He uses the toilet fine for weeing.

His twin brother is using the toilet fine.

Have tried sticker charts and rewards but nothing seems to work. Any ideas?

Well the only advice I can give you is that from experience and that would be to leave it. Will he poo on the potty?

DS1 started doing this after a bout of constipation last yr when he was about 3yr 3 months. I just let him go on the potty which was a right pain BUT just as he was about to turn 4 we were going out one afternoon and I asked him if he needed a poo before we went out (as I didn't want to take the potty with us) and he said no, he'd use the toilet...and he did! And he's done it ever since - I never mentioned it, never made it an issue, never tried to get him on the toilet and in the end he just did it when he was ready.

I know it can be frustrating but sometimes just letting them do things in their own time is the best way.

Don't know if that helps.

u cpuld make him to a poo on potty with nappy on...

then with nappy undone..

then with nappy in potty (but not 'on')

then no nappy in potty

Make sure to have LOTS of praise too!

alternatively 'run out' of nappies and he will HAVE to do it in not in a nappy!

Oh, Marcelle, I feel for you, we had the same problem with ds1 and I remember thinking at the time that he'd be like that in school! TBH I think he just decided to use the toilet of his own volition. And thought its really difficult, staying nonchalant and acting as if you're not all that bothered about it really helps. (even though you're screaming inside!)

My sister had the same problem with one of her dds. DD has just started to use the loo at the age of 5 for poos (she's been using it for wees for years). It seems to have stemmed from an occasion when it was really uncomfortable.

My sister initially got really irritated with this, but eventually decided not to push it as dd just ended up getting constipated (for days and days on end) if she forced the issue. She did, however, invest in some cloth nappies, making the point very loudly to dd that they weren't going to waste lots of disposables.

Then recently, after a gap of about a year between attempts at resolving things, my sister just refused to take no for an answer. It took 2 days, but dd now uses the loo.

So I would be patient and not worry too much. School never needed to be involved, as she simply waited until the evening each day. And now it's resolved itself.

HTH