Why do people think parenting is so black and white?

[sweetfall]

I read threads on here and I am sure it must just be written words and not true thoughts.

They appear to express the worry that this is my form of parenting and it must be consistent forever from both direct parents and every other adult and any other form of adult response to them will damage my child. Whereas I think that exposure to lots of different adult responses.

It's like if you choose to be for example 'unconditional parent' then any exposure to conditions will damage your children. Or being strict with organic, home-made food means that someone else handing them a candy bar is abusive?

Does anyone else think that bringing children up in a bubble so that they think there is only one way that people will react to them is far more dangerous than someone saying to your child "eat up all your greens there's a good boy/girl" when you don't care what they eat?

I don't think any of us who spend a lot of time with our kids are ever consistent, it depends on the moods at the time, who has had a decent sleep!, whats going on that day, etc etc

I think if you love your kids you'll do fine

I belong to the 'good enough' parenting club.
If I am good enough, then it doesn't matter if I am not the best mum in the world.
The key is to be confident in your own abilities.
I am not in competition with anybody else.

I don't think people do think that parenting is so black and white.

While people might favour a certain style of parenting there are lots of times when their parenting becomes a bit 'grey' depending on variables at the time. How much patience they have at the time for example. But no harm in having a starting point that you prefer.

I went to a talk given by a child psychologist once and he described his views on parenting before and after he had children..."First I had loads of theories and no children, now I have four children and no theories!" I was a bit the same, I think. I definitely thought parenting was much easier in theory than it has proved to be in reality.

'First I had loads of theories and no children, now I have four children and no theories!" I was a bit the same, I think. I definitely thought parenting was much easier in theory than it has proved to be in reality. '

I cringe now to think of the theories that I had before DCs! I am not keen on theories at all now. I think it depends on the personality of the DC-one size doesn't suit all. It also depends on the personality of the adult-all it can be is the best way for you.