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My DH is crap at just 'pottering'. I think being able to potter is a parenting essential!

12 replies

peggotty · 19/07/2009 08:53

He either has to be full on doing something/going somewhere or slumped completely inactive. If we are out on a walk and the kids and we stop to look at flowers, jump about on a tree stump etc etc he stands on the sideline like an automaton or self-conciously attempts to join in, with his body language screaming 'let's go let's go!' . I slightly dread weekends because he always want to have outings planned, which IS good but sometimes I'd like to spend a bit of time in the house or garden or just stay around locally. How do I teach him to potter!?!

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bigchris · 19/07/2009 08:56

i have the opposite problem
all dh wants to do is stay hkme and potter while the rest of ud climbthe walls
atm he is pottering inhis study instead of getting ready to take dcs swimming

seeker · 19/07/2009 08:59

My dp can't potter immediately after a long period of work - he needs a bit of time to switch off the "get on with it" reaction. So, generally he can potter on Sundays but not Saturdays. He potters better if he's had a lie in too.

A pint helps a lot too!

peggotty · 19/07/2009 09:03

Yep, might be related to being stressed at work actually! But it stresses me out that we have to be DOING something all the time. And I always have to come up with the thing that we are going to do!

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Katymac · 19/07/2009 09:09

This might be silly but could you plan the pottering?

So a walk might not be to get somewhere but a nature walk where we collect XYZ, look at abc and discuss them?

How far can we walk counting our steps?

I'll try & think of some other stuff

He needs to consider the process being more important than the product & maybe read some EYFS stuff (if he is accepting of child development theory)

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 19/07/2009 09:10

My DH is not only crap at pottering, but even dislikes the word! I love to do it myself.

Gateau · 20/07/2009 10:03

Sorry, I can't help with this one. I don't like pottering myself! DH and I both prefer to be out and about. However this may change when DS is older and can entertain himself for longer periods.

ABetaDad · 20/07/2009 10:24

Pottering was impossible with DSs under nder 5. They needed organised days out, constant activity etc. Now they are a bit older - there is more time for pottering. Weekends I potter - I get ratty if I cannot potter on my own for a bit but then I need purposeful activity too with a beginning moddle and end at specific pre-planned set times.

I potter in between but to a strict timetable.

HeadFairy · 20/07/2009 10:26

ooh you can't plan pottering, that's the whole point. And you can't potter outside the home, it's got to be done (usually in slippers) and at home. Fiddling with old bank statements from 9 years ago counts as pottering, organised events aren't pottering

Gateau · 20/07/2009 10:31

Hi HeadFairy. How are you doing? Is everything okay this time round?
I'm 26 weeks pg now; what about you?
(sorry for hijack, everyone)

HeadFairy · 20/07/2009 10:33

Hiya Gateau, I'm good thanks. Great to hear you're doing so well. I'm 17 weeks now, starting to get the odd bubbly sensations...

Gateau · 20/07/2009 10:38

Awh, that's great to hear, HF. Take care.

HeadFairy · 20/07/2009 10:41

Thanks, you too

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