right now, I hate my 2 yo ds

[EyePeam]

he is only 2.2 so he knows no better but today he is, frankly, a horrible brat and I don't like him very much.

we have been battling to get him dressed and what I hate about this stage is the complete inability to a) listen and b) understand. He wants to watch a DVD, fine while I'm getting ready. I want to get him dressed - huge fights, arms flailing, shouting and crying (all ds, not me!). I say it's fine he can keep watching the DVD while I get him dressed. NO. NO. NO. This is not allowed, he wants to watch the DVD. Yes, you can watch the DVD while I get you dressed. At the same time. Cue major meltdown, hitting, kicking, shouting, tears (still ds not me!).

He is now sitting sobbing in his cot and I am sitting crying in my room.

I've tried distractions, cheerful voice, stern voice, compromise, practical no-nonsense approach but none of it works. and it makes me hate him.

Particularly because I want to get him ready to go out so that we can go to the frickin' zoo, and have lunch out with one of his best friends. And I have told him this, makes no odds.

...

going to rescue him now but any tips, hugs or sypmathy on offer would be very gratefully received. I feel like a crap shouty mummy.

Hands over tea and biscuits.

No advice, cos I can't remember! But you're not a crap mummy because you care.

I am a horrible mum too.

It is my dds birthday and my ds (22months) has done nothing but whinge, shriek and dominate the whole situation. She wasn't even allowed to play with her 'lovely' Barbie bus as he would scream if she went near it.

He flailed about in his pushchair because he didn't want to have the raincover on. It has just been a throwy, screamy, no-ey day. And I wanted it to be special for dd
We try and include him in everything but he just takes the piss sometimes.
I am ashamed to say this but after he kicked me whilst I was trying to do up a strap on his buggy, I slapped his hand.

So you are not alone. It is the terrible twos come out in force!

V ashamed about the hand slapping BTW, totally out of character for me. At least you haven't done that.

I so remember this stage - ds is 7 now but I have strong memories of this utterly unreasonable stage!

I don't know if it helps but ALL parents have been there!

Personally I found this stage the hardest; ds was a few months off going to pre-school and it was the longest few months of my life!

They are not logical creatures at this age.

It would be so lovely if you could say "put these clothes on so that we can go to the zoo for your lovely day out" - but kids this age live completely in the moment and it is too much to expect them to be this logical just yet.....

At this stage I did LOADS of role play with ds. If he was getting dressed I'd make the clothes part of his latest craze eg his top and trousers would be his bus drivers uniform or something. He couldn't wait to put on stuff that was part of his role play.

Another thing that worked was reverse psychology, make it a game. put a pair of trousers on the floor and fix him with your eye and say "DS, do NOT, whatever you do, do NOT put those trousers on....." when he makes a move you go dramatically "NO!!!" etc etc usually this made ds crease up and he'd be dressed just to disobey me

shoes etc I often challenged him to a race to put them on (though mostly ended up helping him with shoes! but at least it helped if i'd challenged him so he WANTED to put them on to beat me, iyswim)

But take heart - of course it ends and they do become more reasonable, eventually!!!!!

I'm just reading the book "how to talk so kids with listen and listen so kids wil talk" am finding it very helpful with the toddler stage.

Toddlers are completely self centred and totally unreasonable. Let him cry it out a bit and then try again.

I have been known to put them in the car in a half dressed state, to finish the job at the other end. Sometimes, if you have to be somewhere at a particular time, you just have to lift them, all flailing arms and legs. Getting them into a car seat without your neighbours callingg SS will be another matter. I do sympathise.

I now have a 3 yo whose requests are more outlandish by the day. That's interesting. "I want to go in an aeroplane today, say yes, say yes, say yes mummy"

Totally empathise dd is2.10 and we've had this sporadically for months, actually wondered what people were talking about with the "terrible 2s" as until 2.6 was an angel then then the full force of the nightmare that is a petulant 2 year old hit us and wiped the smug smile off my face!

She's LOADS worse with me than with dh and gets dressed for grannies no probs [anger].

Every morning I feel quite sick at the anticipation of it as I KNOW I'll shout and she'll cry and son and so on. Then get to work in a foul grumpy mood and have to be "therapeutic" with other peoples children.

My only tip is just ignore ignore ignore, use time out for any violence and threaten withdrawal of priveleges.

As for the hair brushing (thick v v curly tangled hair inherited from her mama no less) now that moves me into an entirely different sphere of frustration.....

Tangle Teezer, minx.

Changed our lives.

ah thanks ladies ... went to the zoo, had nice day out. got home - kicked off again!! from the second, literally the second, we walked through the door. BUT feel a bit more relaxed about it - possibly because I can see there is a big glass of wine with my name on it but a couple of hours away! and now I have read your replies I feel happier altogether.