How does this sit with you? The use of slang to children..

[honestmum]

We have two pre-schoolers attending nursery. My partner and I agree on everything regarding discipline and 'bringing up our children' although he regularly uses slang to the children/infront of the children. He doesn't even realise he is doing it and wants to change so that we give the children an equal opportunity when they start school - they already copy these words/phrases etc. I feel awful about worrying over something like this - and have tried to put it to one side - although it is a daily issue and one that I feel very strongly about.

What sort of words are you talking about? Can you give some examples of 'slang' words that he uses?

Do you mean slang like "loo" rather than toilet, "can't" rather than can not or something more serious?

yes certainly - things like 'dunno', 'aint got no...', 'don't ya' wanna..', etc etc - I certainly don't think I have the best grammar but really want to try to ensure the children have good models for this, thanks

Just sit them in front of the Queens' YouTube channel. That'll learn 'em

what's not to like?

well I hope the local accent is one that pleases you - because I can assure you that no matter how earnestly you teach your children to "speak properly" - sooner or later they pick up the local lingo -and it'll make you cringe

That's how people talk though and they will hear it everywhere, so there's not much point trying not to do it - as long as you talk normally as well, so they do hear normal speech, they will be fine.

In fact I think if they only ever heard "correct" usage they might end up sounding a bit odd and not find it so easy to fit in at school.

I am really enjoying ds2's emerging Devon burr, it suits him

I like slang, within reason. I don't mind my children using it in the right context.

Ds1 sounds like some little toff out of an Enid Blyton story though, I don't know where he gets it from

So it is grammar and enunciation more than slang really? I try to speak properly with my children, I correct them if they slip but they do - and I do too because people do not really talk like that all the time, especially children.

I am told all the time how nicely I speak, how I sound so middle class and so on. Often it is a cover for telling me how unapproachable I am because I sound snobby/overly intelligent etc.

I would try to stop yourself getting too stressed about it, your dc will speak like this, I find it hilarious when I phone dd if she is with friends, she answers the phone with "Ullo? Wachya want?" It sounds awful but I know it is just because her friends are there, she would never speak to me like that any other time. Correct gently when it happens but not all the time, the odd pointer is fine, any more becomes nagging. Your children will not be disadvantaged by talking like other children; they will be disadvantaged by being made to talk with a plum in their mouth. Try to find a nice middle ground

It's only when dd asks me 'where's that to?' Greeny that I will consider it a step too far

Hmm, okay. I kind of see where you're coming from. Speech like that doesn't sound that bad coming from an adult but it can sound odd/ not right coming out of the mouth of a child.

What is his regional accent? Is it the same as the area you are living in? Will your dcs stand out hugely if they speak the same way as him?

I think it would be very hard for him to change the way he speaks if it is his natural 'language' iyswim. But if he wants to I guess it will be a matter of watching what he says and making a huge effort to use more conventional language until it becomes second nature.

thanks - 'regional accent' is not a concern to me - just laziness in pronunciation, would like them to at least start on the right tracks..

Mind you, FAQ is absolutely right. I am a southerner and don't have an accent, dh is from cheshire and while he isn't hugely 'cheshire' accented he does have the northern 'a' - 'cAstle' not 'carstle', etc.

Until we moved to Cheshire 2 years ago ds1 spoke like me. Now dh and I have an ongoing jokey competition to get the dcs to speak 'properly'. Needless to say, I'm now losing as ds1 is at school, dd is at preschool and they are far more influenced by their friends than me so it's short a's all the way now .

Olihan, of course you have an accent; a southern accent!

Yeah, I meant I don't have an Essex/Fen/Londahn accent - you wouldn't really be able to pin a particular area of the south on me from listening to me.

but here the regional accent is what would come across as laziness in pronunciation from the pov of an outsider

ds slurs his t's all the time, mainly in an effort to show that he is independent; I nag him occasionally but not all the time; the ideal outcome to me would be that he had the skill to use both pronunciations and the social nous to use them in the right context; in fact, that's probably not too far from the truth: the ability to wind mummy up probably is the right context as far as he is concerned