What to do with a a nearly 3yo DS who has been out of nappies for months, but still never tells us when he needs a wee?

[castille]

He's fine normally when there is structure to his day but now it's the school hols and our routine is out of the window I sometimes forget to take him to the loo. Then he always wets himself. He can hold on for ages but very very rarely says he needs to go before the event.

And he always waits for his nap time or bedtime nappy to do a poo.

How can I teach him to tell us when he needs to go?

I would say you have to stop toiletting him so he can learn for himself when he needs to go

HAving accidents should help

He doesn't seem respond to accidents, even when wearing his favourite trousers as today

Then again he doesn't have many because I think to take him... so if I try not taking him for several days (if I can bear the washing) it might spur him into action, do you think?

Gawd my girls were such a doddle to potty train, he's a lazy boy

We took our DS regularly as that's what nursery do. In the last month he went through a "I'll do it all by myself" phase which we took advantage of to encourage him to go to the toilet all by himself. He now takes responsibility for it, though he does still leave it until the last minute when he's at home and get some hilarious panic faces. He had knock-knees tonight and I nearly died laughing.

Doesn't sound like he's ready. If you're just taking him every time he might need a wee then you've just replaced the nappies with your own vigilance. I'd put him back in nappies until he's ready.

Did the same with my dd - got all overenthusiastic when all her friends were potty training and had her in knickers for 3 months before I decided that actually she wasn't really ready. She went back into nappies for a few weeks and then came and told me she was ready and I think we had 2 accidents in total.

I would never go back to nappies.... just sends a message to your ds to give up.

I would keep being vigilant, maybe stickers if he tells you or some sort of treat. Have you tried weeing on ping pong balls, helps aim and is fun! My dd was potty trained night and day long before she was two, one of my boys was over three.

Definitely not going back to nappies, he hasn't worn daytime nappies for 6 months. He has bladder control - he can hold on for ages - the issue is with interrupting his activity to tell us he needs a wee before he does one.

And we are seriously fed up with changing his nappy before we go to bed because he's done a poo before going to sleep (most nights). He has only ever done a couple of poos on the loo. How to we train him out of that one?

There is a theory that says some children, more often boys, have a fear of letting go of poo. Perhaps he's held on all day and then the nappy is a relief. Maybe put the nappy on and don't let him out of your sight! I would stick to gentle reminders fro wees and super out of this world praise for any time, even wasted time, that he asks for the loo.

I'm sure you're doing everything right just some children do take a very long time to get it.

You are probably right Posie.

He definitely knows the theory about poos going in the loo, but prefers to do his in great secrecy.

As for wees, he just isn't bothered enough about wet pants to interrupt what he's doing, at least that's the impression we have.

We will plod on, trying stickers, bribes etc until he finally gets it...