Annoyed at health visitor comment

[JennyPenny22]

The health visitor came round the other day and was telling me to start potty training my 18 month old DD. I told her she wasn't ready and I wouldn't be doing it yet and she said "well she really should be trained by the time she is 2".

FFS why do HV still give out shit advise?!!! She did the same with the advice she gave me about weaning the younger one.

Sorry, just a rant really!!

She is really silly, you are the one in the right!

Your thread ids the second one in the last 10mn with HV that new mums would be much better without!

What?! I saw my HV yesterday with DS (20 months) and she said toilet training might not even start til he's 3!

I have just started with DD4 a few weeks ago. she is great all week, no accidents., comes the week end and her siblings are arround and she does not know what the potty is for anymore!

I started to try and potty train dd1 when she was just over 2, months later we were getting no where.

My sensible HV told me to stop, not worry about it and wait until dd was ready.
I did and it took me 2 days - she asked on her 3rd birthday to go to the toilet and that was it. She basically did it by herself.

Going to try the same with dd2.

I KNOW that she is wrong. All the HV in this area are like this and it is REALLY annoying me. I want to do something to stop non-mumsnetters getting this crap advice and following it because they don't know any different. She also told me I should be ready for weaning at 4 months and should be doing baby rice and purees 3 times a day, which is what I was told with DD1 too. WHY do they not know that the guidelines have changed?! They told me with DD1 to stop BF several times within the 8 months I BF her. Mainly for stupid reasons like making her eat more solids at 6 months .

She also said that if you wait to potty train then you will get problems because they child will refuse to do it as they have been left in nappies so long

Ds had his 2 yr check the other day at 2.2. She asked if I'd started potty traiing him. I said that we'd bought potties, talked about what to do, sat on them etc but other than that we were taking it slowly. For a start his speech which I think has been a bit behind is coming on really fast so it will be worth waiting a month or two to see how well he can talk to us about it iyswim. She said (very nicely I admit) that it sounded as though I still thought of him as my baby and I wasn't letting him grow up . Amazingly we'd just been talking about how I was still bf him so I wonder where she got that idea from!
Anyway, I waved her off with no other thought than to carry on as I was but I find myself now asking DS if he wants the potty and encouraging him to use it as I change his nappy so I guess she's got to me!

Also it seems to me that they have an obsession over potty training, talking (which I agree with) and cutting out with scissors . Other things which I'd count as 'growing up' such as drinking from an open cup, washing hands, dressing self, helping to tidy up etc didn't get a mention!

The end of the day. Many people PT too early, but you donn't see many children still in nappies at 8 years old because people did it too late! SN aside of course. But what I mean, is that I dont think there is a "too late" as the child would eventually just do it.

I've been having the same comments from friends about dd3 who is 21 months, she is no where near ready for training yet and i think i will instinctively know when she is, as i did with dd's 1&2.

Exactly. I'm sure if I fought and fought and used the potty lots, and punished for accidents then DS would be trained in a month or so. On the other hand if I continue as I have been, he probably will be by the time he's coming up to 3 - so why make it hard for us all?

I soon realise with the birth of my first child that all HVs did not have a clue! I used the internet and read books for myself.
You do what's best for your child and familly.

I'm lucky, my HV is brilliant but I have seen some really dodgy ones at baby weigh clinics and other places. I can't tell you how many times I was told to top up with formula and always for bizarre reasons - he's started biting me "top up", he's not rolling yet "top up", he's putting on too much weight "top up", he's not putting on enough weight "top up" lol.