Parenting myths for babies?

[dimples82]

I've had such great responses from Mumsnet today that I've got another question...

...out of all the hundreds of conflicting messages I've read about what you should and shouldn't do with a young baby, how do i know which ones are true?!

Has anyone come across things that were apparent facts and turned out to be myths?! Especially but not exclusively around feeding would be fantastic.

From a very confused mum to be with lots of questions!

Anything that tells you that you absolutely should or shouldn't do something a particular way is very likely to be wrong. Especially if they say that your baby will be irreversibly spoiled if you don't do things their way.

for most things, i would say, follow your gut instincts EXCEPT for weaning , when it is better to do a bit more research.

you cannot breastfeed too often, you can't cuddle your baby too often, you can't pick your baby up too often IMO

anyone who tries to tell you your baby MUST be in a routine by a certain age and should ONLY feed x times a day for x minutes is probably wrong.

Never wake a sleeping baby
Never let your baby sleep in your arms.

And my favourite ..... only let your baby sleep at certain times of the day but whatever you do don't let them get over tired

Not co-sleeping with your baby will ensure they dont climb into bed with you as a toddler....

my DS (4) (who I never co-slept with as a baby) comes in every night now - although I must say its quite nice and snuggly!

if it's your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, whatever baby. (also applies to PFB but issue doesn't arise as often)

It's not going to be permanently damaged if you can't rush to pick it up straight away if you're dealing with another child/something else. - Honestly they won't be

Oh and you don't have to sit and play with them every waking second of their day. They're very often (although admittedly not always) quite content to sit/lie there watching/listening to you pottering around doing other stuff.

Cosleeping will create such independence that one day, they will happily move back to their own room. Tell that to my 2yo.

The way I decide which advice out of the conflicting "musts" and "must nots" I want to use, is that first I ask why they recommend that.

If the reasoning does not make sense to me then I ignore, if it does make sense then I look into it a bit more, until I feel confident. So basically I trust my instincts when it comes to the advice. If I have 2 conflicting approaches which both make sense to me then I tend to ask others for their experiences.

Oh and if I can't ask them why then I tend to ask on here

Also knowing who to trust on particular issues helps. There is a poster called tiktok on the Breast and Bottle feeding section here who is fantastic and always able to back up her advice with facts. In fact I find mumsnet brilliant as somebody will be able to back up the advice offered so you can trust it more IYSWIM.

I also did a search and found some myths of breastfeeding threads - sorry if that wasn't what you were looking for though.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/63652

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/460400

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/512935

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/652690

Oh the last link is myths about any infant feeding, sorry.

CherryChoc they're all brilliant, thank you.

Never wake a sleeping baby - I agree, this one landed DS in hospital with dehydration!

Don't bath baby for the first month - what planet was this HV on? (the same one who advocates olive oil as a suncream for pale skined, ginger baby!)

Don't overfeed your baby with formula (stick to the packet guidelines) otherwise his arms and legs will get so fat and heavy he won't be able to move them - HV on crack, C&G disagreed and laughed!

Use only water and cotton wool on babies bottom for the first month - After 1-week I decided this was far more hassle than I signed up for

Your baby will know what s/he needs all the time, let them lead you, be an on-demand parent - my DS hasn't got a clue and will happily feed, sick, feed, sick for hours unless you stop him, he would never sleep unless I put him in bed and played him lullabies until his sleeps, and he never requests a bath!

and double at olive oil for suncream! That HV should be sacked!

that babies sleep.

There is no normal when it comes to babies and sleep. And more often than not, it is not your fault if they don't sleep. I can say this, having had one that didn't sleep a full night until the age of 2.5 yr old and one who slept for 13 hours at night from 8 weeks. Nothing I did or didn't do.

That you must,t feed or rock your baby to sleep or else they'll never learn to settle or sleep through the night. Total rubbish, I had to feed ds to sleep til 12 months but he slept through from 10 weeks. Then one night he just rolled over went to sleep on his own and has done ever since. Nothing I did or didn't do, if a baby can settle to sleep then they will do when they are ready.

That a baby will sense when you're stressed/anxious/about to jump out the window. They won't, they're babies, not frigging mind readers. This comment is always said by smug people - in my case the MiL - that have totally forgotten how on edge you are during the early days.

The main one is that babies sleep in long stretches at night. Or even at all at night for the first few weeks. There are so many threads "Help my 2 week old baby only sleeps 10-7 with 2 feeds in that time, what am I doing wrong?".

Agree with Provincial Lady that the expectation that babies should sleep in 6 hour stretches at night is utter codswallop.

Boy did I learn that one the hard way. The first time DS slept for 5 hours I felt like I'd been to a health farm