Where am i ment to go?

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

Serious question, mainly to sahm. I have a 7 month old, and a 22 month old, i have never taken them anywhere on my own. i once walked to the local shop 5 minutes away, but this was when DS would still go in a double buggy. I am currently being treated for pnd from my eldest, and whilst i am feeling much better in myself i still have the stumbling block of not doing anything with my kids. I convince myself that nobody with a 14months age gap goes out alone, but then i see my neighbour with 3 under 4 leaving the house all the time so I recon this may well be just me then??? But with little cash, no transport, and 2 babies, where the hell am i suposed to go???

thanks littleducks, there is a few close to me from that list, but do you honestly take toddlers to libraries? i cant help but imagine the destruction!

im making him sound dreadful, truth is other peole take him out and say what a delight he is, i see the same behaviour and feel like i want the ground to swallow me up!

Libraries normally have a childrens area, with board books and some kind of toys if your lucky (my local one has a train with book box carriages)

Go along at rhytime, they said they were geared up for toddler, they often have instruments! so not a shushing librin type of place

Well actually I don't take my ds to the library because I have two to look after and I can't face it! I do go to lots of other places where I feel more comfortable though.

Could you plan to go out at least once next week - to the park would be good as it is outside? If it could be helpful to you, you could list all the things you are anxious will happen and then think of the way you would DEAL with each thing. I have found this a good way of dealing with anxieties.

If you just go out once, even for half an hour, it will build your confidence for future trips.

yeah i finally went to the gp at my DD 6 wk check. he sent me start to the CPN, both were great, the CPN was quite shocled but antidepressants have beem fantastic, i have down bits still, actually at the moemt i feel alright, which is why i have asked about what other people do! now realising im still not okay. its weird, you get used to yourself so it doest seem so bad, and have made progress so it feels like im okay really, then normal perspective from other paople reminds me that im not really!

I dont have a HV, the place to get babies weighed is a bus away and i couldnt contemplate that so they have empty red books!

Swimming
M&T groups
Walking - just anywhere
Parks
Animal thingies - urban farms or stuff
Riding on a bus or a train - you can make anything fun (although this bit cab require acting skills)

Children are young animals - they need daily exercise.

BabyDubs...22month old boys destroy things and scream...it's what they do! Please take the two off them out, even for a short walk, just to prove to yourself you can do it...and really you can.

HOw would your DS feel about reins? (Mine hated them, so maybe not). Something to eat in the buggy usually worked, though.

Yes, chocolate button have been very useful to me at times!

BDEW, once you've been out once and successfully, it'll become easier everytime!
My DS1 and 2 are 12 months apart and when they were both babies going out was the only thing that made my days bearable. If your almost 2 year old will not go into the (double?)buggy anymore, could you try baby in a sling and walk with older one? Sorry, if this has been suggested already, I have not read the whole thread.
It is good that you have had good response to ADs and support from CPN, but I would also get HVs involved. You should be able to contact them by phone and ask to be seen at home if it is too difficult to see them at the baby clinic. They can be v helpful with access to play groups, PND support groups with creche etc.
Good luck to you, I hope you will be even better soon!

sorry again for being so slow and for dreadful spelling, am typing with a baby in the dark!

Im trying to get a job, and im looking forward to not being with them. My Mil will be doing the childcare and i know she will take the places, plus my DH will on his childcare days, so it wont matter then they dont do so much (or anything) on my days. perhaps it will get easer when they are older. my neighbour (ive never spoken to her, just seen her though the window) is always up and down with her three, but usually screaming at her eldest to come back, come on, hurry up slow down, she sounds like a banshee, but this is how i would be and that freaks me out a little too. but she is the only person i have seen that i know in a way with more than one child. i dont know how else to do it, but the screaming at little kids method doesnt seem right either. perhaps its the area lol

me n DH take a bribry pack with us for them, food will last so long, toys, even brand new never before seen, much coveted off the shelf stuff has no effect at all. we pamder to him far to much, i know that, but i dont know how to deal with him any other way, i am hoping to be a much better parent as they get older.

tyhanks for taking the time to talk to me, its been good to get another perspective, time for bed me thinks, tomorrow is another day and all that x

maybe you could ask hv about a parenting course, to give you some techniques to use with dcs and the CONFIDENCE to use them, hv do home visits you have to phone and request it but they should do it, look for phone no in red book

do you think you could approach neighbour, maybe not yet but in the future and find out where she goes, is there a good toddler she attends?

re the banshee thing, i know its not a good look but honestly i think the occassional bit of shouting is ok or at least thats what im telling myself, it is ok to tell your child off, in public if required and if he cries about it, it is normal and ok too.