TOP TIPS FOR SURVIVING 3 UNDER THE AGE OF 5

[Misspaella]

Just wondering if anyone had any advice/tips surviving having 3 children under 5yrs.

DS is about the turn 4, DD has just turned 2 and no 3 is due in 9 days.......I am getting anxious that there will be lots of tears and tantrums over the next few months.

If you have been there/done that would love to hear how you coped.

Been there, done that, got several baby-sick stained T-shirts to prove it!

I had 15 months between each of mine, so when no.3 was born I had a 15 month old and a 2.5 y.o.

Mine are now 5, 4, & 3 so we're just about coming out of that stage (just... daren't breathe out just yet!)

My top tips:

1. Maximise sleep for the whole family. So do whatever gets you through. It's really hard work coordinating patterns of night feeding / sleep training / early waking, so ignore whatever the books say and do what works for you as a family. A rested mummy and rested toddlers can cope with each other a lot better!

1. CBeebies is your friend.

1. Get all of them eating the same food as soon as you possibly can. It will save you money, time and sanity.

1. Allow yourself loads of extra time for everything... bathing, getting in and out of the car... less stressful and more fair to the children.

1. Don't forget how young your older children are. It's easy to think of them as 'the big ones' but they're really only tiny themselves.

1. Try to get some time in each day that you give to them individually, even if it's just 10 minutes story time when you're tucking them into bed. Mine are very close and share willingly, but their story time is precious and gets savagely defended!!

1. Accept as much help as you can.

1. Get out of the house as much as you can. If your DS is about to turn 4, presumably he's starting school in September? The whole school routine is a challenge in itself, but it's a blessing in that it gives structure to your days. The thing I found hardest was day after day of DH leaving at 8am and knowing I'd be on my own with these 3 babies until bedtime.

1. There probably will be tears and tantrums at some point, and some of them will be yours . But you have to try to remind yourself that where they're 'losing' your time and attention, they're gaining a lot of company and life skills by having siblings.

Sorry if a lot of this seems obvious stuff, but there isn't any real magic answer, just try to enjoy it because it really is a blast, and it really is over far too quickly.

routine, patience & wine

do whatever works for your family

I have 4 children 5 and under (3 under 3)

ds1 - 5.5
dts (dd & ds2)- 2.3
ds3 - 5mths

I find the school run hardest as this can be a juggle with feeds(but is getting better), bedtime is also testing as dh only here every other week.

Very good point though about remembering that your older children are still young - I fall into that trap alot

at least when I had 3 under 3 it was better than when I had 3 under 2

I'm with Oooggs, wine helps massively

Just do whatever works for your family.

I personally found that routine helped, pre-school and then school dictated to us, many a time I have sat on a bench after pick up or drop off breast feeding the latest baby.

It doesn't last forever, my youngest is now at pre-school and it is soooo much easier wine still helps though

Thanks so much for all your advice. I guess the next 12months (or longer) will be a challenge but worth it.

And I am glad having Cbeebies is acceptable - I was scared I would be considered a naughty mummy.

I may even save for quite a few takeaways.

hi know this was a thread started a while ago now but would be interested to know how things are going as i will soon be in a similar situation.

as of april i will have 3 aged 3yr9mth 2yrexactly and obviously newborn.

i consider my first two to be in a fairly good routine..althou i am wondering if that will soon change esp as they will be sharing a room eventually..as i rule at the mo they play and get on well together, thinking bedtime routine may be the hardest???

ps i am also pleased with the cbeebies is your friend comment makes me feel a little better as i really stress or feel guilty if i have it on much throu the day feel like a lazy mummy that shud be doing more playing

don't forget that preschool sessions are free for the eldest child once it is the term after it is 3

Hello-have DS 3.6, DD 2.4 and DD 15 weeks...I have to say that I think my expectations were that I expected it to be alot worse than it is actually (no 3 being a 'happy accident' and all that!)
Anyhow, I have managed to get them all to have rest times/naps at the same time...DS goes to his room after lunch for 'quiet time'when he is not at pre-school. He plays in his room, reads books, builds lego etc...up to 2 hours whilst his younger sister (2.4) has a nap and baby naps too...

I found the trickiest bit was keeping things calm whilst I fed baby...so the other two do craft at the kitchen table when I feed in an armchair in the kitchen...they really enjoy this.

My husband travels quite a bit and so I find that more and more I end up putting all three to bed. I wash/bath the older ones first and they then have milk in their pyjamas whilst I allow them to watch a DVD (Peter Pan), whilst I put baby to bed, say at 6.45 then its story together and teeth clean and they are in bed, usually by 7.20 pm...they are pretty good and quite tired so will generally be quiet.

My best tip is to spend individual time with each every day, reading a story, or playing with the dolls house or building something so the child feels they have special time with Mummy too.

A couple of days I do actually have the baby all to myself as the others go to pre-school and playgroup, so its working out fine.

Our baby has settled in well, and I do find she is the most easy going little thing, and her brother and sister seem to enjoy her already.

And yes, Cbeebies does come in very handy for some chill out time during the day or when manic little friends come to visit!!!

P.S. And if you can't 'lower your standards' (oh I wish I could!!!), get a cleaner. I have succumbed, as I got quite fed up and angst ridden with never being able to do things thoroughly enough. Yes, I could do the day to day, but I didn't want to spend all my days keeping a large house up together. I wanted to be able to 'enjoy' my children as much as possible. It just helps a little...

im glad to hear that your expectations were worse than you expected..this baby to a happy welcomed accident! i seem to go from feeling very excited to a mixture of excitment and wondering quite how im going to juggle everything combind with still getting out n about to the usual groups n friends etc (for sum reason and i no it prob sound a bit dramatic but the thing i seem to be dreading is the process of actually leaving the house the coats shoes n loading into the car hehe seems to take forever now!!esp if someone is feeling like they dont quite want to just happily get their shoes/coat etc on!

i too managed after afew weeks to get my first two girls sleeping in the day at the same time which was bliss to have that little part of the day to myself, althou my eldest no longer sleeps in the day my 2nd dd has had her sleep cut to an hr as she was starting to take a while to settle in the evening otherwise not sure how much longer she will continue to sleep in the day hopefully a while yet.

I think its fab that you have managed to get your eldest to have a quite time period alone well done you such a massive achievment n i would think also i really good skill for him to have...dontthink i could manage tihs with my elsdest she is at pre school 5ams n does come back tired but our usual routine is back for lunch youngest to bed for an hr then eldest had a bit of me time and a bit of cbeebies (my bugbear but still cant seem to get rid of it even thou i would much love her to paly instead..but i usually turn it off when we both go and get my youngest up from her sleep.

my husband works shifts so is to often not around at bedtime so i will be doing it alone i tihkn if a remember rightly when my second arrived she got a top up breatfeed while my eldest had dinner at 5ish then both bathed together n i would put elsdest to bed 630..then feed baby again.

but think maybe the baby first with three might work better like you have been doing. do your eldest ahre a room??if so did they move together b4or after baby arrived.

mine will eventually n i think they will prob be fine together but just not sure how ill paly story time as not convinced my youngest will sit throu the same sort of story that my eldest currently has..thinking of maybe letting them pick one each n read younger story first put her into cot next to us then read next story!?

we currently have a membership at hotel/gym where they have a fab onsite nursery which my eldest went to until her funded pre school session in village kicked in..my youngest now goes there on a tues morning and sometimes a thur...we are in two mind whether to rejoin again in april (quite expensive&you have to pay for the whole yr upfront)

it means felixble child care all yr round well of up to 6hr a wk anything extra 6pounds and hr! no 6hr isnt alot but does offer a couple of morning restbite for me.

the other option is for my current youngest to start at my daughter pre scholl in april when she turns two and baby is due it means i could drop her off at same time as eldest a couple of mornings a wk only 2min down the road n it is so nice ther and also think it would be nice for them to cross over together before eldest leaves for scholl in sept..the big down for this option is that i will have the easter break when baby arrives with all three at home and also the 6wk summer with all three at home as the preschool is only open term time..decisions desicions??

my daughter completely loves pre school n even asks to go at wkends so i do always wonder how i am going to get throu the holiday periods with full days to entertain them by myself..god sounds awful doesnt it!! part of me keeps thinkin just go with this option n ill just HAVE to muddle throu...but wonder if when the reality hits ill struggle n not enjoy it so much without any kind of break! cant rejoin the other place at later date if struggling as would incure another 400pound joining fee enless memebership rolls over from now.

omg sorry fro going on so much! is it just me who is worried bout the summer hols n what i will do to keep all3happy allday everyday for so long!?!?!

ps i too get a little uptight with not being able to everything in the house i would like..a cleaner even maybe once a fortnight to catch up would be bliss

Don't worry...I was the exactly the same! I think it is psychologically normal to have the fear about how you are going to organise yourself, but you will do it - systematically...
Re bedtime - think the idea of reading 'younger' story first then putting in cot great...and mine don't share a room, but have done on holiday many times and it wasn't a problem. Plus the baby's room is between theirs and her cies at night (if she wakes) have never woken them yet.And I think I would move them together before baby's arrival so they are settled by then.
Re the holidays - try and get together regularly with other Mums and kids at least a couple of times a week during the hols and get Grannies involved if you can with taking the older ones out for trips to the park/cinema; treats etc, so you and the baby
have some time.
Re cleaner - would highly recommend it - but organise it now, so necessary for 1st six weeks when you are establishing breastfeeding. Good luck

thanks again for all the advice so appreciated.

will def try and make as many plans for hols but unfortunately help from grandparents wont really b an option my MIL leads a busy life and it always seems like a big favour to ask her for help n unfortunately my mum isnt local or always of great health as she has ms. feel for her as i know she would love to do more but isnt really able.

The up to my husbands shifts is that he does a wk of 6-2, then a wk of 2-10, then a mix of both. so he is usually around for half of the day most days enless doing overtime. his 4th week is a night wk which is a complete nightmare thou as he really struggled to sleep during day with us around so a wk of not much sleep can take its toll..but at least its only every4wk.

do your children just attend pre school/playgroup term time? what are your thoughts re the hols do you think it would be benifical to pay out for the membership so we have a few hours of childcare during hols..or do u think it will be easier than i think to get throu with all three baby being just a couple of months.

trying to tell myself to think positive and it will be fine

Think i worry as im not great at staying in like to have something each day usually seeing a friend, a playgroup, rhymetime at the library etc all of which dont run throu hols well obviously not the friends

not got much to add really, think everyone has pretty much covered everything! my only advice is to have a room where you can escape too when it feels a bit much! When ds2 was born, oldest two were 3.5yrs and 22months. it was hard work (it still is to be honest and they are now 5.11, 4.3 and 2.6). my safe room is the downstairs toilet-i can still see and hear them but they cant see me.

I like getting out about too and it was hard as ds1 didnt really like walking. Our living room has a patio door leading to the back garden which I used to just fling open and let them come and go as they pleased. they were still getting outside to burn of energy, it was free(most important!) and i got some peace when ds2 was sleeping.

How the hell did you cope doing bedtime on your own. HOW!?