9 months of weeing in loo - asks for nappy for poo...what do i do?????

[twosofar]

Hello, I really need some advice please. DS1 is 3.3 and has been standing up weeing in the loo since he was 2.7, something he asked to do after seeing a friend. So far so good. Rarely do we have accidents and can manage car journeys of 2 hours or so and naps in the car without consequence. However he point blank refuses to try to do a poo on the potty or on the loo and asks for a nappy. He clearly knows when he needs one, does it in the nappy, then asks me to put his pants back on. No amount of persuasion, bribery, peer pressure etc will make him even try to sit on the potty. When my Mum was here a couple of weeks ago, she said I was being ridiculous and needed to be more firm with him so started forcing him to sit on the loo, with him all the while screaming with rage. There was no way he was going to do anything even if he sat there all day as he was so hysterical so i took him off and ended up having a row with her...so far so typlical. Anyway, for 5 days after this, he didn't ask for a nappy as per usual and just did it in his pants and then came to me asking for fresh pants. He's not really bothered about poo in his pants just as long as he is not made to go near the loo or potty. When i ask him why he won't try he just says 'Because I won't' or 'Because i don't want to.' We have now gone back to the nappy, just because I can't bear dealing with a massive poo in pants scenario (and accompanying wet pants,trousers socks and often shoes twice a day. I'm also having behavioural issues with him but that's for another thread..... Thanks for any shared experience/thoughts on this x

As he stands to do pees, but needs to sit to do poos, they are quite different activities. (as compared to girls who sit for both) Can you get him used to sitting on the loo/potty separately, as a game/activity that is unconnected to doing a poo. Try to persuade him to sit down on it at times when he doesn't need to poo, or even try sitting down for a pee. My friend persuaded her son to do his first poo on the loo by getting him to try to fart. It made him laugh and removed all the fear.

Sounds like genuine fear rather than anything else - It must be really scary sitting over a big, watery drop when you have a little bottom that could slip through (or feels like it could)

If he doesn't like the act of sitting on the loo, I wouldn't try to persuade him, start with a small, low potty.

First of all, can you try getting him to sit for wees? You may find a poo happens to come at the same time, and even if not, it may get him over his fear of pooing.

If he shows a fear of sitting on the potty too, you can get ones with a lid that look like a seat - maybe introduce it as a special seat, then remove lid and use it as a seat without mentioning the "p" word, and then introduce the idea that it's a potty for pees and poos.

He needs some positive peer pressure. Just talk about how his friends all sit on the loo to do a poo, as do mum and dad, and tell him how much easier and quicker it is not having to bother with a nappy. Also tip his poo out the nappy and flush it down the loo.

had exactly the same problem. we started by putting the nappy in the potty so he was technically pooing in the nappy and not in the loo, he did that for a week then happily did it in the loo without fear. watching his peers didn't work, playing on the loo didn't work, stickers, presents, telly, none of it worked but having the security of the nappy in the potty did. like a treat. good luck.