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Original poster

I am so sad, my DD woke up desperately upset a minute ago...

42 replies

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 21:01

She had been asleep for just over an hour.

She was crying 'mama, mama, mama' and was really upset. I went in to comfort her and said 'i am here baby girl are you ok' and she was sat up in bed, tears streaming down her face, and said 'mama, mama, i need, i need i need yoooou' while in tears.

I picked her up, and said 'shhhh, its ok i am here' and she said 'i so missed you, i so so missed you mama. I don't want you to go to work again' and started crying and trying to speak saying 'i, i, i, i want'.

I broke my heart. How on earth do i deal with that? I feel very tearful and quite guilty.

I have been poorly with hyperemesis and been off work for 5-6 weeks. I have hardly been able to do a thing with her, but I have been here the whole time, and she has been really into bringing me in a drink of water when I wake up from a nap etc, coming in for snuggles when I am feeling better.

And I am back at work. And she keeps saying she does not want me to go, but not been upset like this. Yesterday, after work, I took her to the beach on the train, all afternoon, just me and her. And this evening, I played bears. And I am doing more now I am less sick.

And I don't want to go to work either . I want to play with her all day But more than that I don't want her to be sad

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PacificDogwood · 24/06/2009 21:36

Pavlov, just a thought, as you mentioned above you were not quite sure whether she was really awake: could her waking up that upset in fact have been a night terror? She is just the right age for that and children can behave just like that. At the end of it, did she just snuggle down and go back to sleep without fuss but was totally inconsolable until then? My DS1 had these, maybe 3x in total, very distressing (for me ), he used to fight me off when I tried to console him, then go back to sleep after 30 min and not remember a thing in the morning. It is v different from a nightmare from which you can wake a child up.

You must feel horrible about leaving her to go to work but as others have said I am sure she will be fine.
Just ignore me if you feel this is totally off the mark. It just reminded me a bit of a few fraught nights we used to have 3 years ago and then it just stopped...
Good luck with pregnancy !

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 21:43

pacificdogwood yes it was exactly like that, unable to wake from it, although once it happened she did finally wake up, and completely inconsolable for a short while. A couple of the times it was a long while, but 2nite it was much shorter. She seemed awake and responding to what I said but when she said 'I want to go home' I realised she probably was not awake, she then said 'i like you' and snuggled back to sleep, with a small smiley face. Exactly like you said.

Well that is it then. I will feel much calmer about it if it happens again.

Anyone know why night terrors happen?

whoosh i did not respond to what you said earlier. She often says 'i need you' to me, and I always respond with 'i need you too i will always need you'.

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Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 21:45

DOH! would help if I realised there was a link!!!! I did not notice, but am reading it now, thank you for that pacific, it sounds just like what she has been experiencing, just that tonight hit home a bit more as its something specific she was saying.

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PacificDogwood · 24/06/2009 21:57

Disclaimer: the link I sent was just the first thing that caught my eye when I googled "night terror", so I have no idea how bona fide it is, LOL!
I was told that the vast majority of children totally grow out of it and certainly DS1 had about a total of 3 or 4 all within 2 or 3 months when he was about 3 1/2 and then they just stopped. He has been a great sleeper ever since and is now 6.
Good luck!

Jumente · 24/06/2009 21:58

Oh poor sweet dd and poor Pav!

Fwiw, my mother has always said to me, when ds is playing up or upset or cross with me, that this only happens once they know you can take it. Often it has come after I've been ill for a few days, or such - he will be sweet as anything when I am poorly, but as soon as I am better he feels he is allowed his turn to let it all out - whether that it by crying and crying or by being a lickle monster

So perhaps the HG has really worried her in a way she isn't even aware of, and that is when she was missing you, in the sense of being concerned about her mummy, and now you are better she is letting the tears come because everything is back to normal - iyswim.

Lots of love to you both xx

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 22:04

Yes maybe, she has been a bit more tearful recently, and alot more clingy. If we walk ahead of her because she is busy looking at something she gets terribly upset, if she can't see us for a moment in the supermarket she worries, even if she is with the other one of us she gets upset and runs up and down looking for the other of us. Not always but lots more. She has always been a confident secure little girl. And she still is but needs more re-assurances. Its a big change me being unwell. Perhaps it has upset her more than she realised.

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Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 22:07

I really would quite like to go in and give her a cuddle.

I am a bit worried about the weekend as we are going away sat afternoon and not returning til sunday night. DD is having a 'sleepover' with some friends wo are having her for 2 nights. She is very excited, thinks it is fun, but its for 2 nights and we won't be close

Oh i am not sure it is such a good idea now.

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Jumente · 24/06/2009 22:09

I just know it did with ds1...it was only once it started to ease off that he could start being himself again, and there were lots of tears. That is a good sign - it means she is feeling secure enough to let it out, iyswim. She can sense that you are in a better place to take on board her feelings.

In other words you're both through the woods

Hope things continue to improve.

Jumente · 24/06/2009 22:10

Oh x posts...hmm not sure. I'd keep an open mind and decide on the day, if you can. She may be fine

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 22:14

I am going to see Bruce Springsteen in London on sunday, I think maybe we can leave really early on sunday morning and get our friend to have her then instead of 2 nights? But the logistics are shit as that would mean her having to be here at 6am.

Or we could get her sunday night, but again it will be really late, and by that time she would probably have settled to sleep for the night anway...

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Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 22:16

The last 'sleepover' she had, she was not at all bothered about being away from us. She loved it, spent most of the day, night and following morning bouncing in their little boy's bed! She wanted to stay there and that was only 2 weeks ago? but this is a different friend (although one she knows very very well), and last time we were just round the corner (literally)

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PacificDogwood · 24/06/2009 22:18

There is nothing to say that she will have an "episode" every night, is there? Could you not just play it by ear, see how the next couple of nights go and then make a decision?

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 24/06/2009 22:23

yes, I think I will do that. DH would not dream of us not going. He paid a fortune for the tickets for my birthday and I have been very concerned I would not be well enough to go. I have not been sick for over a week, so things are looking ok from my perspective.

I have just snuck in, did not cuddle her in case I woke her, she stirred, opened her eyes briefly and rolled over. I told her i loved her very much and to sleep well and have happy dreams. I told her she could come and jump on me for cuddles when she woke up in the morning

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Jumente · 25/06/2009 07:13

Oh me too with the !!!

Are you going to throw your knickers at him?

Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 25/06/2009 09:01

I might have to I have some lovely sexy ones I am not using at the moment, can spare a couple . I am very very excited. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I am bursting with excitement. I have loved him since I was a kid and I think he is very sexy even at his age now.

I am even more excited it is at a mini festival, so outside and not in a huge arena and it won't be as huge and as crowded as at Glasto so i stand a good chance of actually seeing something .

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Original poster

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 25/06/2009 09:02

Oh and on the subject of DD seeing as that is the purpose of this thread - DD woke this morning at 6:30am, came in and jumped on me, so she must have heard me! She had the biggest happiest grin on her face when I smiled and said morning, so clearly last night has not prayed on her mind.

She did say 'your not going to work today mama?' and I said yes for a little bit baby girl but I will be home soon' and she said 'but i am not going to work today though ok?'

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LundyBancroftatemyhusband · 25/06/2009 21:37

Brilliant

So glad she is a bit happier.

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