So, all you parents who wouldn't let a man be carer for your kids...

[dizietsma]

...how do you feel about/justify your position in the light of the Plymouth nursery child porn case?

It is a personal choice for all parents who they chose to look after their children and does not need to be justified. We all use some kind of stereotype or prejudice (albeit subconcious) when choosing this person/ people. You go with who you feel comfortable with.

DH said he went to pick up his DD (my stepdaughter) from nursery once and her male carer said he adored her and "liked changing her nappy". Neither her nor his wife at the time felt the need to pull her out although he felt a bit weird at this comment made. I personally would have been freaked.

It is so hard to make these calls I think ultimately parents have to do what they feel is right.

Dd now has a couple doing childcare. I have no issues whatsoever. I remember a thread from ages ago where people objected to male nursery workers. Very odd.

Whilst I agree in that it should be parental choice, at least in a paid nursery, you don't normally get the choice of which teacher your child gets, male, female, or the dragon in the end classroom, so that's not reasonable.

However I think in a childcare situation there should be more men looking after children, and we should not be freaked out about it, even if nappy changes are part of the childcare. Most children in nappies won't care whether a man or a woman is changing them and it's unhealthy to put adult prejudices onto young children.

With older disabled children though I entirely agree the person caring for the child, including nappy changes if necessary, should be someone the child is comfortable with. That might be a man, certainly for older or teenage boys, or it might be female. But that shoudl apply to all aspects of the child's care, not just intimate personal care.

It is a parental choice in so much as that if a parent doesn't want men looking after their children they are free to take their child out of that nursery and look for one without male nursery workers. They should not, however, have the right to be openly prejudiced by demanding that only the female staff in a nursery look after their children.

In terms of severely disabled children they should of course have carers whom they feel comfortable with when they get to an age where intimate care is something they become more aware of, and this should work both ways, with boys and girls... iyswim.

I did read the article below not so long ago dealing with female paedophilia, which I think makes an interesting read...

Are there women paedophiles?

dizietsma - I don't think you can say that men are more likely to abuse as 'sexist' nonsense as you can see in the article above. But I do think that it's extremely rare for a male childcarer to go into the career aiming to abuse.

I have no qualms about DH changing DS's nappy and if we end up having a DD, I can't see how I would feel differently about that. So I think it would be weird if a close friend objected to DH changing their DD or DS's nappy but that's their choice and preference and I will respect that. It's up to the parents as ultimately IF there were going to be any consequences, they and their child(ren) have to live with it.

We can sit here and judge and give opinions as much as we like, but if we were one of the parents whose child(ren) could be involved in the Plymouth case, I can't say how I would feel or do about it. Every sympathy to them though, it must be hell going through what they are going through now...