Does parenting get less controversial the older your DCs get?

[DitaVonCheese]

Just musing really ... DC is 8 mo and there seem to be so many decisions that can quickly descend into bun fights: cloth or disposable, breast or bottle, CC or NCSS, Gina or chaos non-routine, co-sleeping or own room, BLW or purees, Fruit Shoots or Greggs etc etc.

I had an epiphany a couple of days ago that, however important all these things might seem now, no one is going to give a toss in a couple of years' time how I weaned, how I got DC to sleep, whether we actually ever got into a routine and so on. I was just wondering whether a whole new set of issues were about to burst on to the scene for my mum and I to disagree about or whether this is it?

I don't know about controversial, but there are always things that you worry about - and where there is scope for someone making you feel guilty.

The pace of change/development may slow down a little after those first couple of years of so, but changes can be just as sudden and take you by surprise.

It's still a minefield!

dita, I blame the internet then, as a whole

"after years in th same job you no longer have that attitude and wing it more, and just trust your instincts."

Which is exactly why big companies move their executives around every 2-3 years - to avoid them becoming lazy and complacent!

I don't think that trusting your instincts means becoming lazy and complacent.

I think I'm better at my job than I was 10 years ago. Not lazy and complacent but a lot better at prioritising and see where there is a genuine problem and where I need to let up. Same with parenting really.

I don't think trusting your instincts is lazy and complacent.
I think it is all about getting confidence and getting perspective. And the additional benefit of gradually realising which strategies work and which are self defeating or worse.
A;so as a child gets older you start to respecttheir imput more and negotiation becomes far more productive. I am able to have sensible conversations with my 15 year old where we can agree on strategies for getting as much as we both want whilst still protecting him.
You get huge confidence from seeing things work out well and that becomes a platform for the future.

I would agree though that the hardest aspect of having a teenager is maintaining real contact with them - their friendships and their challenges - whilst still respectingtheir privacy and independence.
But hopefully you have a firm foundation of trust and respect to call on by then

Just read this blogpost, which exactly echoes what everyone's saying on this thread:

badladies.blogspot.com/search/label/Being%20Bad

Good question. I am not sure it gets less controversial.
I hope so anyway - already looking forward to the education debates!

The baby/toddler phase does attract a lot of opinions
mainly because the small folks at the centre of it cannot speak for themselves.

I think it's fair to acknowledge that early years do matter
but I am pretty sceptical about this whole new pseudo-science of 'infant determinism'.

'I would agree though that the hardest aspect of having a teenager is maintaining real contact with them - their friendships and their challenges - whilst still respectingtheir privacy and independence.'

I would agree with this and find the teen years hard going, but DS1 has emerged the other side and is a lovely adult-I think so anyway! He chooses our company and doesn't see us through a sense of duty which is what I was aiming for.
Having lived in the same area for a long time it has been most interesting to watch 'the babies' from the NCT coffee mornings, toddler groups etc grow up and they don't always emerge the way you would expect-or the way their parents expect!

I also think it is very important to trust your instincts, go with what suits your personality and the personality of your DC and don't slavishly follow any theory or 'in' thing.

Count me lazy and incompetent, then. Increasingly I just do what suits me and my children and feel more confident about staring out those who look askance.

GrungeBlobPrimpants at your comments about Fruit Shoots and Haribo .... it's soooo true. I don't think twice about my 12yo ds eating or drinking this kind if stuff now - as long as he eats all the other 'good' food I put in front of him. I'm less relaxed with my 6yo ... it will be some time before he enjoys their delights

'Twas before I discovered Mumsnet, mind. I now realise that I have committed just about every mnet cardinal sin in the book - except eat a Greggs sausage roll. We really must do that sometime

thank you frizzbath for posting that link i loved it!