going to a new mum and toddler group- does anyone else quake with fear?

[giraffeski]

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"I'm off to another new one this afternoon "

I've given myself the username Tyler D on another website. It was after a conversation with my DH when I told him the number of support groups (for want of a better word) I was going to one week. (Tyler D is from "Fight Club" for those who didn't guess it.)

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When I first started going to the mum and toddler group with my charges they were all very cliquey (esp as very small community and we all live on an army barracks) and as this is my first proper nanny job I was absolutely terrified.

No one talked to me at first maybe because they're all in the 30s and 40s and i'm 21. I actually got sick of being left out of the conversations and made myself join in and ask questions whenever they were talking.

Eventually I think they accepted me and I didnt give up on it as it was great for the kids. Then one woman came with her eight month old son. She was nice and I made the effort to talk but the others just ignored her for the whole time and she didnt come again poor thing.

Mr Bubble used to take DS1 to a toddler group in a church hall when I worked on Fridays. For several weeks he was under the impression that a tall, geeky looking bloke was the vicar. Eventually he told him how good it was that the church organised such a thing only for the guy to inform him that he was, in fact, a parent with no theological leanings. DH had been calling him vicar for weeks and he hadn't said anything.

im going to start going to my local one next week i got a note through the door earlier and want to go, but its for toddlers and mums and my ds is 8 motnhs but it does say from 0-5 i just hope hes not the only little one i really wanna meet friends as i have none! im so scared though im a young mum i just hope they speak to me!

I find I am very shy as a Mum and the conversation never got past talk about there child my child oh how cute stuff.

Even now at 3pm I am found standing on my own although I do smile and say hello to as mamy people as I can. Its the kind of village where everyone says hello though!

Do give it a go and stay as positive as possible, always be ready to say hello. If after a whle it doesn't feel right try somewhere else.

I actually look forward to taking my DD to her dancing as all the Mums sit in the coffee shop and chat. I decided on day one I was really going to try. I plonked myself at the table and just kept smiling and nodding while they chatted. It took a couple of weeks but I slowly joined in, we've even been on a night out. Never thought I'd see the day.

Maybe it's easier when their older if your not really into the baby chat.

Just keep , they will either start to chat or think your completly insane.

Gski: maybe by wearing a distinctive item of clothing aka giraffe backpack, everyone will (1) notice you and (b) remember you and (c) talk to you and (d) run a mile.

Really happy you found a good group. I think if the termly one isn't crazy on the £££££ (notto benne $$$$$), and you aren't planning to move enclosure in the next ten minutes, then that would be the best one. You'll get to meet a new 'crowd' too.

If I'm going to playgroup etc where I don't know anyone I try to get there early - if you're the first, second or third person there the others will be more likely to chat to you, coz they'll have to, and then you'll have a few faces you can link up with later in the session. Hope that makes sense!