GF mums with 2 children.......when did you get out with toddler and newborn

[Melly]

Hi everyone. Am feeling really down today. DD is 21 months and ds nearly 3 weeks old. I guess it might well be a bit of baby blues but I feel really trapped and fed up. DD did really well on GF routine which she went into when she was about 8 weeks I think. I've been really torn about when to start ds, so far have tried to stick to the routines but this only seems possible if I never go out! I just can't seem to find enough time between feeding/sleeping needs of both children to get out even for just an hour. Haven't been outside the house for nearly a week, apart from the garden, and am feeling really desperate. Dh is quite good but seems reluctant to look after ds whilst he is so young, which I can sort of understand. My questions are to other mums how did you manage with 2 children in GF routine, how early did you put number 2 into the routine, how did you get out and about without the newborn sleeping at the wrong times etc and then ending up sleeping too long between 7 am - 7 pm.
Sorry if I sound pathetic, I just can't seem to see the wood for the trees at the moment. Perhaps I should just go with the flow, but ds is sleeping reasonably well at night at the moment if I stick to the routine and I just love my kip too much to compromise on this!
Please help......would love some advice from GF followers who have managed 2 (or more) children in the routines.

Melly - is it really worth it? You really sound like you need to get out for your sanity. I had my boys pre-GF, so can't comment there. But there was 22 months between them - getting out was hard work, but having 2 kids close in age is hard work. Personally I needed to get out to the social stuff - toddler groups, music groups, swimming, which I did regularly from ds2 being born. I know GF thinks babies need to sleep in their cots, have very strict routines, etc., but with two you've just got to be more flexible.

Melly, My ds is 3 and my newborn ds is 5 weeks, I didn't do GF for my 1st and he went into a routine quickly and is still great at night. With no 2 I thought I would try GF, but I have to admit that no2 has to fit around preschool run etc, and often has naps in car seat/pram rather than darkened nursery. Maybe that's why he's not doing too well at night! Still sticking to feed times and rough nap times. Its bad with a 3 year old and newborn so my heart goes out to you.

Just to let you know someone is thinking of you

Melly you have to remember your baby is only 3 weeks old and getting out full stop is hard whether or not you are following a routine. I didn't start GF til dd was 7 weeks but it actually enabled me to get out more than before.

The best time to get out at this stage is probably after the afternoon feed and during the afternoon nap. Later on once the morning nap is well established this can be taken in the pram/car seat whilst on your way somewhere. I always aimed to get somewhere by 9.45-10.00am and fed dd while I was there.

Even if you just go out for an hour during the morning or afternoon you will feel so much better for it.

I'm not really qualified to answer your questions just yet as I'm not even pregnant with #2 yet but I got the gina Ford book out of the library just to read it, since everyone kept mentioning it. I have one dd who will be 6 when new baby is born, if all goes according to plan. I read through the book just to see what it was like and I finished it thinking there is no way I'd be able to follow the routine. She talks about putting the baby down for it's morning nap at 8.45am, but I need to leave to take dd to school at that time and after school she has activities and baby would have to come to. I guess it will be easier for me to to wait until I actually have a newborn before seeing if it would really work. but by just reading through the book my initial thought was I can't see this working for me, it all seems to strict. but that doesn't mean to say that I won't maybe give it a half hearted attempt when the time comes. I found her comments on colic very interesting though as dd fed every 2 hours at one point and GF says in her book that this can maybe lead to colic, I'll have to remember that for next time. Good Luck though Melly I'm sure everything will work out fine for you and your little ones.

Thanks for the messages. I did manage to get out to Safeway yesterday afternoon (whoopee) between 4 pm - 5 pm and even this made me feel a bit better. Had a crap night with ds but persevered and still got him up at 7 am for his feed. He went down beautifully about 8.40 am and has slept beautifully. I guess I just need to take each day as it comes, chill out and be grateful that I have two healthy children.

Hey Melly - sorry to hear you are finding it tough. I have 2 girls, with 19 mths between them (presently 26 mths and 7 mths). Did GF with eldest after she was 6 mths, and with youngest from beginning. IMHO, it has definitely been worth it. They both sleep through the night beautifully, and it is helpful to have them both have the daytime sleep together (so I can nurse my mumsnet addiction!). It was hard in the beginning - just getting out of the house can seem like a huuuge marathon, and then it was time to come home again! What we did in the beginning was go out, even if it was just for a walk up the road, right after the morning nap, and came back in time for lunch. Or sometimes, l would bring lunch with me and have it when we were out, then back in time for nap. In the really early days I sometimes had the baby take her morning nap in the pram when we were out, though I know it isn't following GF 'to the letter'! In the afternoon I try to get my bumph ready when they are asleep and we go out after they are both up and fed and nappied - usually around 3:30. Basically, we just did short walks, or a quick trip to the playground, or to a playgroup and then left early, etc. Also pushed the schedule around a little bit, (eg midday nap 1/2 hr later than recommended on some days) 'cos otherwise I would have gone nuts! I look at it as an investment of time, and getting this routine established would be good for both the babies and myself in the long run. Also, it has got easier as DD2 is a bit older (and on solid food at lunch time). I was getting uptight about the schedule in the beginning, but then my dh reminded me that it was an ideal to keep in mind, and to nudge the children in that direction - if I didn't do it perfectly every time, it wasn't a disaster. Sounds obvious, but it helped me. Oh yeah, with dd2, though I was encouraging the schedule, she didn't really fall into it until she was a month or so old. I wasn't really rigid in the beginning because it felt like she was still in the 'just landed on the planet' stage. Hope all this rambling helps. It will get easier!