You poor thing, it can be infuriating.
My advice is to not allow her to do these things. You are the adult, she is the child. Physically remove her from situations and take her away to time out for three minutes. When she's climbing on you, stop her, physically. You need to show her by actually doing it because to reason with a child of this age is extremely difficult and could end up in a battle of wills.
Take her to time out for three mins, explain why she's there,and leave the room. If she gets up, put her back. Again if necessary, as many times as it takes. She will soon see that you are not going to give up. After all, YOU are the one in control. I'm sure I'll get flamed by people who are pro unconditional parenting and that I should listen to my child about why she's throwing yogurt on the floor or having tantrums. Of course you have to listen, but not to discipline IMO is just letting them learn bad habits. Being consistent is key, don't give up.