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Anybody with a ds who doesn,t play out for various reasons

6 replies

equity · 30/05/2009 18:02

Hi
I am aware that most children play out these days with local children and I have become a little concerned for my only 8 year old ds who doesn,t do this.
Last year he did start to play out a little and had a small group of freinds developing but things just went horribly worng for him when a couple of other children started coming onto the scene and there was a certain amount of bullying going on.
Other friendships didn,t work for him due to certain cliques and arguments which just became a pain.
Although my ds does have the odd mate back from school, alot of the time he is on his own and I feel bad for him most of the time especially when I see those children that were his friends still playing out.
I know I probably sound really silly but I feel as though he is missing out and that it isn,t good for him to be sitting in although he is perfectly happy in himself.
I was just wondering if anyone has a ds in the same situation who doesn,t play out any more due to problems with so called friends.
It just doesn,t seem to have worked out for him with kids in the street but he has never had trouble making keeping friends at school and has always been very popular at school so I can,t really understand it.
ANybody experienced similar with their ds.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
equity · 30/05/2009 18:04

Just wondering if my ds is the only one with this problem.

OP posts:
slayerette · 30/05/2009 18:08

I have experienced something a little similar although not to the same extent. My DS (6) is also an only and I worry all the time about him being lonely. We live on a quiet cul-de-sac and a few times he has played out with a pair of brothers who live down the street. However, the older brother has a friend who plays with him now and again, and when that happens they gang up on DS and a couple of times he's come back in tears. It breaks your heart, doesn't it?

I don't push him to play out at all but do try to arrange for him to meet up with his school friends quite regularly and he has just started Beavers. This is really working out at the moment - he loves it and is going on scout camp next weekend! So I am hoping he will get more company/'boy' activities that way...

endless · 30/05/2009 18:10

mine is an only and i dont allow him to play out in the street. He is only 5, but we live next to a main road.

Do kids of this age not bicker and fall out regularly then make up allot?
Just wondering if this is not normal kids behaviour?

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nkf · 30/05/2009 18:15

Can you try to get groups of kids and adults together? I like mine to play outside but they don't hang out on teh streets (main road etc). But I make quite a conscious effort to create an outdoor life and to get them together with friends.

equity · 30/05/2009 18:17

They do endless but we have been on the end of some really bad nasty behaviour of one boy in particular who was starting to become a good friend of ds's but then this other girl of 9 came on the scene and it didn,t work with the three of them and things just kept going pearshaped every time they played and my ds was always the one that got blamed and ousted.

OP posts:
Metella · 30/05/2009 18:27

Well neither of my children play out on the street but then no-one does around here - it just isn't done. They get along just fine having friends round and playing in the garden.

Ds1 is quite a loner, though, and doesn't often have people round but he is quite content about it. If your ds is happy I'm not sure what the problem is?

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