Ds (2.1) has been having a tough time lately. Along with the joys of being 2 (bigger ideas than he can communicate, confused by choices/decisions, etc), dd arrived just before his birthday, and 3 weeks after that, dh went back to work after nearly 6m off. Not to mention, the move to Oz in December, going from co-sleeping to his own bed/room in January, and finally having to adjust to dh putting him to bed when I'd always done it.
All things considered, he has handled it really well and is mostly very good. He's v attached and I spend a LOT of time sitting cuddling him but that's fine.
However I am getting a lot of malarkey at naptime (dh gets less, or a different sort, at bedtime). It's pretty clear he just wants me to stay (preferably without dd); the first time I offered a snuggle he curled right into me just as he always used to, and sighed with relief. I have some sympathy with this, if someone else is here to look after dd.
but other times - seems to be when dd has been particularly fretful (another velcro baby) or I am especially tired - he does that whole getting-out-of-bed 900 times thing I've read about so often on here, and ignores the offer of a snuggle - and anything else I might say.
Thing is, I'm hating the put-him-back-901-times strategy. He's bloody heavy and dd invariably starts yelling if I've had to put her down, but ds thinks it's a hilarious game. The first time it happened, after 8x I shut the bedroom door to stop him running out - this caused a scream of fear and instant tears as he's never tolerated closed doors well; immediately I went back in he was in my lap sucking his fingers and fell asleep. I did it again today to get his attention before he got really going, but I hate doing it. It feels like a really brutal thing to do to a sensitive kid when I know what he wants, understand why he wants it, and think that it is not unreasonable since he is, in some ways, still a baby.
Aibu? Or aib too soft? What alternatives are there? I've thought of settling him on my bed with me and dd - is that madness?