If you have no family nearby..

[nomorechoc]

How do you cope when you and/or DC are ill?
i mean when you feel really crappy how do you manage. we may be moving away from family soon and wondering how you get around this and other things like when you need to take one DC to an appt where it is not suitable to take other DC etc..
i know if you have a network of friends then that is great, but obviously not the case when you first move to a new area..
Also i was wondering if such a thing as ad-hoc nannies exists?

You struggle and it's bloody hard, but you do cope because you have no choice but to cope. It will be fine - you'll soon make friends and then you'll have that support.

i have family 5 mins away and i still have to just get on with it. Im expecting another baby (due jan) and i have no idea whats gonna happen with dd. Her dad is as useful as a chocolate ashtray (were seperated) and hes already told me he will be busy (nice to know so far in advance) and my family will all be to busy. Just need to hope a friend can step in

I now have a childminder who will take my dds almost anytime and with short notice. Which is a blessing as even though I have few friends now I could leave my dds (not the case before) it's not always suitable/possible/appropriate while if you pay you can be a bot more relaxed about it imho.
As for when feeling ill I don't know as thankfully I have not been ill [tough wood emoticon]. If one is ill and cannot go out said childminder will do school pick up and drop off.

It is hard though but I have known no different, in fact since dd1 at nursery is much easier as met lots of mums. It could be harder if you are used to have someone around for a quick help.

Oh and yes you'll soon make friends and every mum might need a favour at some points so most are willing to give them.

It's terrible- we moved away from everyone close to us when DC 1 was 15mths and since then we have been very much on our own. I get migraines and occasionally have had to have DH take the day off work to look after our 2DC. I did start using a childminder that my kids go to 1 day a week and she will take them if available if I am ill but it's expensive.

I had a very bad run of ill health about 1yr ago and was really ill on and off for about 4 mths during which time DH took 1 day off and the rest of the time I had to look after the kids myself from 7.30 am til 7pm Mon-Fri. I cried a LOT! I do try and call in the odd favour with friends now if I'm really struggling but it's taken me about 4 yrs to have to confidence in my new friendships to ask iyswim.

Good luck though x

Again, you just have to get on with it, I ended up having to take both along before DD1 started school. Can count on one hand the times I have actually asked anyone to look after either DD for me, and those have only been in the last year. I only work 1 day a week, I have to take the time off if they are sick. DH is a doctor so less easy for him to take time off.

Our nearest family is 2 hours away, have lived here for 9 years. DD's 6 and 3.

Not sure if this helps or not.

I have no family nearby - the ill thing, it sucks really badly.

The rest is maneagable - DH works very close to home so I try to arrange appts for when he can come home for lunch if they are of a sensitive nature (e.g. I didn't particularly want my baby at my smear test )

But for things like dentist/chiropractor I just call and ask first - do I need to arrange childcare or can I bring her with. People have been LOVELY - hairdressers held her and entertained her for length of appt, got my eyebrows waxed and beauticians teenage daughter kept her amused, dentist gives her a sticker even though she's only a little baby, chiropractor gets out box of toys for her.

Ask me again though when I have more than one child as I'm guessing people might not be so welcoming then!!

I moved at 5 months pg and with an 18 month old to a place where I knew no-one. You need lots of DVDs and sky plus with CBeebies recorded.

Also check with your local family services, we're in Ireland and our local family centre has a drop-in creche that you can use for a few hours at a time for docs appointment etc. I didn't actually use it (have been here 18 months now), just carted DD1 along to everything. (I had my smear with her playing on my tummy so it can be done)

You get an au pair!

Seriously... our situation is slightly different because I have a disability and am therefore frequently unwell but that is what saved my sanity and we pay for it out of my DLA. They have their contracted hours (25 per week) but if I've been ill I've paid them more to do longer.

At the moment we are without an AP and you just cope. I've reigned in favours, DH has taken a few impromptu days off work, and the TV has been on more. What I'm really missing at the moment is no evening babysitting which means for the first time in years we're having to decide who goes to what, and not being able to go out together... I had a really bad day the other day and literally lay on the sofa in and out of sleep all day and DS was amazing - just played alongside me - I had been so worried about it but he was great.

We have no family around, and we rely heavily on each other. Fo example i have suffered badly with sickness this pg and so far it has been debilitating to say the least. There have been days/weeks when I have just not been able to function and DH has looked after me, the house and DD.

But mostly, it works out fine. We do has friends around, but those who are closest to us actually live furthest away, and those who live closest tend to be more 'fairweather friends' ie not necessarily reliable in times of need.

Me and dh both relied on each other a lot when we were living away from family and close friends. And we invested in part time nursery which was a life saver.
Gradually we built up new friendships. The lack of friends was what really got me down.

You just do cope, somehow.

Dc being ill is no big deal. That is bound to happen a lot. Annoying but part of being a parent.
Me being ill is a PITA but we get through it. Dh works long hours with a 1.5 hour commute each way, and can't be home to help unless it is a matter of life or death.

There has only been one day when I was really ill (norovirus, felt like I was dying). We got through it by me lying on the sofa, and the dcs watching cbeebies all day. Dh prepared sandwiches for their lunch so that I didn't handle their food.

Tbh, I'd probably find it harder if I was used to having help, but I've never had that. I do have friends now who I could call on in an emergency (although never have). Has taken 3 years of living somewhere new to get to that point though.

Other things - hair appointments, dentist, etc - just get done at weekends.