VERY early waking / parenthood generally - how can I cope. I'm not at the moment...

[lovelyboysadmum]

DS is 9 months old and gorgeous but I just feel that everyone else copes so much better than me.

He started sleeping through until 6 a few weeks ago, which was great. But recently he's started waking at 4.30 - an hour or so later he's then tired and miserable and goes back to sleep for just half an hour. We both then spend the rest of the day tired and miserable. His top teeth are coming through which might be the reason, as we've tried blacking out the windows, which made no difference. I hope it's just a phase but I feel terrible. I haven't got the energy to go out and meet people but can't stand being in the house all day, especially now he's crawling and is such a little monkey.

Everyone else seems to cope much better at parenting than me. I know I'm lucky and I can't even bear to read this whinge back to myself. I just feel like I'm losing it; I've been crying since 4.45am.

Self-indulgent rant over. Any tips on coping with/dealing with such early waking? We're all over the place.

Sorry you are feeling bad but please rest assured you are NOT a rubbish parent!

We all go through periods like this and I'm sure it will sort itself out, there seem to be lots of threads on here lately about early waking so I'm sure it's a summer thing too.

I've never had early risers (well, not that early!) so can't really help there but didn't want to leave you unanswered.

If the weather is nice, please get out in the sunshine, go to the park or just for a walk together if you can't face going to playgroups. It's amazing how much better you can feel just getting a change of air

Thanks basementbear A rubbish day today but I made it through! And we did go for a walk in the park. Tomorrow is another day...

Sympathies - I know how you feel. My two were up and down like yoyo's last night and I haven't dared calculate how much sleep I didn't get.....

I agree with basementbear - getting out does help, even if you don't feel like it initially.

It is just a phase and won't last for ever, but in the meantime, early nights - doctors orders!

Both of mine have gone through lonnnnnnggggg phases of waking up at stupid o'clock... please note the use of the word phases. It is hideous and miserable but WILL NOT last forever. It does usually coinside with teething/ the clocks changing/ illness/ stress in the family. It's sucks but does get better.

Please remember that anyone who has not felt like bouncing their baby/ themselves off a wall is either taking drugs or lying to you or themselves. We all feel like this. Your first child is such a re-adjustment and you sound like you are doing a grand job (provided you haven't actually bounced them off a wall ).

Keep your chin up and see as many other new mummies as possible- then you can have a cathartic competitive moaning session. Don't take from it that all other babies are perfect though as that is quite simply not true.

Good luck and try and get a break this weekend if there is someone who can help you. If not, go to bed when they do- it's the only way to not keep feeling like you have been up half the day by 7am.

Morning! Hope you are feeling a bit better today Just wanted to say I agree with shootfromthehip - many's the time I have gone to bed at 8pm just to get a "head start" on sleep when DS1 was refusing to sleep through! Also - drop everything and go to bed during the day when your DS naps, DO NOT be tempted to run around cleaning up etc. Lack of sleep is absolute torture so catch up on it whenever you can.

Hello basementbear. Feeling better today, thanks. DS was awake at 4.55 but happily chatted to himself until 5.40. I'd also had 6 hours sleep so it didn't feel too bad compared to four hours yesterday.

I'm off out tonight and tomorrow night for the first time since he was born with some of my best mates so looking forward to that. And DP has promised me a weekend lie-in!

Thanks for your support, guys. x

Lovely - you are NOT a bad parent, your very, very normal!!!

Teeth are a huge factor, plus the mornings getting lighter and the birds singing to us at some god earthy time doesnt help. Here's what I did:

1. Got black out curtains to make the room darker - didnt work so got a piece of MDF board cut to size and put up at the window

1. Put DS to bed slightly earlier - this sounds bizarre but for him going to bed earlier helped him to sleep slightly later(It must be a boy thing! all my friends girls are like angels and wake at 7-8am)

1. Joined several toddler groups and chatted to other mums about early waking, how I was feeling and to my surprise I wanst the only one!!! Also found several mums who said their LO's were waking at 4am!!! Always someone worse off than you!

1. Got out in the fresh air - I was the picnic queen in the Summer!!! Even now as soon as the weather gets better i get to the park, laiden with my picnic basket! I also joined the National Trust and got myself to go more places with ds and hubby on a weekend

1. Found MUMSNET!!! I have a moan and put the feelers out every now and again. Someone always replies and makes you feel slightly better

Last bit of advice - It does get easier,I foudn the first year a real struggle - you have so much going on such as being a new mum, sleeping through, weaning, teeth cutting, sitting up, crawling etc... People whos children are perfect are exceptional and you should never compare yours to them!

My DS slept through from 8 weeks then from 6 months woke between 5-6am every morning, like you it did my head in till one day someone said "Just accept it, it wont last for ever" - I took the advice and felt so much more happier about it.

Try and get out a bit more, talk to people, mums, friends and remember youre not alone!!!

Right lecture over...hope this has helped!!!!