1 month old and just wants to be held/won't sleep in moses basket! What to do!?

[JennyPenny22]

She is driving me mad. When she wakes up, I have about 2 hours of constant feeding/crying etc. She can fall asleep, but then crys when put down. I have a 17 month old who is getting frustrated and has hurt herslef a few times where have been dealing with dd2. .

At night, she doesn't like the moses basket. I don't know why, as in our bed, she will fall asleep I if BF her lying down. But then she will wake up screaming - I think because sh hasn't been winded. So I just go round in a circle. I don't like co sleeping with her at all. I have had virtually no sleep the last few days and I don't feel she is safe when we are this tired. Also, when she is screaming, she often wakes up DD1.

And I keep ending up with sick/milk all over my bed!

My ds had reflux and was a horror crying all the time - oh my god I thought I was going crazy and the hv told me it's just what babies do.
Do try propping one end of moses basket up - I solved it by giving formula for reflux babies that is a bit thicker so stayed down - I know you are breast feeding - am not trying to persuade you otherwise. But it does pass and now he is an angel - he runs around calling himself a sneaky terror

I have expressed some breastmilk so I can add the gavison to it. The gavison worked wonders last night and she slept a lot better - but it is hard to give it "off a spoon" Like the pack says for BF babies, so most just goes everywhere!

Jenny- can you give it with a medicine syringe(eg like the ones you get with bottles of Nurofen for kids) or dentinox colic drops also have a 2.5 ml syringe you could use. Can imagine a spoon would be difficult!
My dd also ended up on formula called SMA staydown, specially for reflux. I just couldn't hack the breastfeeding because I was so stressed and tired!
Gaviscon didn't work at all for mine though, so it sounds promising.
Interestingly, when I was researching infant reflux I noted that Americans seem to define colic and reflux as the same thing, rather than relating colic to bad wind. Think that sounds alot more probable tbh! Its ALOT more recognized in the States.
I'm a midwife and the midwives and health visitors I've told about my own experiences/research had never heard of it-only recently!!
Anyway you have all my sympathy because that first few months with my dd were the most challenging of my life to date.

Actually my dd used to cry non stop for 9 hrs in a row and yet my hv still said- some babies are just like that!!!!!!

Hi Ellsasmum1 I also gave up on the breast feeding for the same reason and then the gaviscon didn't work out that well and lovely mil said but he just needs reflux milk - very common in the Netherlands - where is it's available in the supermarkets also a milk thickner that can be added to expressed milk made of rice flour - problem solved he literally stopped crying overnight.
Got no help from the midwife who also told me babies cry.

Our ds had the same (caused by bad reflux) but we found the bouncy chair worked well. A sling would probably have the same effect, as it keeps them more horizontal than a cot or moses basket (and less tiring than holding them for 1/2 hour or so after feeds). A massage would also help.

Our HV was rubbish with advice. She just kept telling us that "all babies cry" - not very helpful really! We got through his early months on common sense and advice from friends and there were no more tears, thankfully.

I hope the advice you receive here helps and that you're able to get into a more normal and less frustrating period soon. Good luck.

Hows it going Jenny?

I don't really know. I didn't get a doctors apointment as things were getting better and I thought that the gavison had done the trick as that night she slept so much better. But as soon as the doctors closed yesterday she has been bad again! Giving gripe water a go, as it has to be used now it is open anyway.

I find it so hard to actually get her to have anything though, regardless of if it is gavison, infacol or whatever. Its just impossible to get her to swallow it. Gripe water is 5ml - thats a lot for a 5 week old to take from a syringe and she gets more upset, probably making the wind worse!?!

Haven't read the other posts but can I just heartily recommend the double whammy of an Amby hammock and a stretchy sling? we got a hug-a-bub and it and the hammock kept me sane through those early days. www.hugabub.com/
Good luck!

orange - we have a close carrier which is very similar. But she only likes it when I am constantly walking with her, so great when out and about but not much good when we are at home.

i have a 10 week old dd who was very much the same until we decided to put her in her cotbed rather than her moses. She slept in the cot in her nursery wth me sleeping in the pull out bed for a few days and now she will sleep in her moses in our room.

I have no idea how it worked or why but shes gotten alot better at seeping on her own over te last week maybe its worth a try changing wat she sleeps in? I think it was maybe because dd could see me and dp throuh the bars on the cot rather than a little confined space like a moses and now shes got a sleeping pattern

Yep Jenny remember that well- my dd used to spit all the gaviscon back out too!
I really don't think it sounds anything related to wind so think you can stop worrying about that(tried everything for my dd infacol/gripe etc and none of it worked).
Really think its reflux- definatly get a Dr appt monday.
Don't let them tell you that they have to throw back all feeds/not be gaining wait to have reflux, thats rubbish -silent reflux can be much more painful for the baby and they don't even bring back many/any feeds.

She wants to feed little and often because the breastmilk relieves the pain but then on the other hand after feeds especially when shes lying down the pain kicks back in!
Another possible help is a good cranio osteopath.
They work on the bones on baby's head (only with their hands its very gentle!) and it can help loads with reflux apparently.
Whereabouts in the country are you?

/the first part of my postcode is UB9 if that helps? Is it expensive? My doctor is very "oh she is fine" about everything. DD1 has been to her wih bad tonsilitis and she just told me it was teething. Ended up in A&E a few hours later with a temp of 104 (after calpol and neofen!) and she was sooo ill. I knew she wasn't just teething but she wouldn't listen and she has been like that with me everytime. In fact she is usually a bit with me.

My first was like this...I remember once doing an 18hr feed!! ...just to keep him quite...but your fore milk will only replenish once the sucking has stopped so this didnt satisfy. once we were at an outdoor pool and we managed to clear a whole section as people couldnt stand his screams...that evening my sister took him off me and gave him formula...it was all better then. However my 3rd was another squeeler and I just out up with it for the 3 months...just getting thru each hour...we would pass her to each other whilst we were eating in the eve and my husband made me a sandwich left in the fridge for lunch. when my sister had another screamer her husband was determined that "this could not go on like this"...everyday something arrived in the post from the internet, they did cranial ost..he just walked him around the neighbourhood for an hour or 2 when he got home int he evening...he screamed throughout and we could here him coming back as the wails got louder as he got nearer. ... in the end nothing worked....but it subsides and will all be over in a few weeks (when they are 10-12 weeks old)...I think everyone trys everything and I think the fact that their are so many products/suggestions etc means that nothing really works 100%...but some things work a bit for a short time for some...try and accept that you have a tough few weeks ahead of you and do what you can to cope...but I am not sure it is realistic to believe there is a magic bulllet out there...if there is we would all know about it!...with our number 3 screamer...my mum and my sister were convinced they could sort her out...so they sent me off all smug for a meal with my husband...but i returned to 2 very harassed women baby had scream for 3 hours...my mum has had 7 children...was one of 10...my dad one or 12...i have 60 first cousins we all live local...so there is are always babys around...so there was nothing they didnt know...sometimes you get a screamer...just try and take it in your stride...has no bearing on the gorgeous happy litte person who will emerge in a few weeks time...just think that you have to get thru JUNE...and life will be much better

My first was like this...I remember once doing an 18hr feed!! ...just to keep him quite...but your fore milk will only replenish once the sucking has stopped so this didnt satisfy. once we were at an outdoor pool and we managed to clear a whole section as people couldnt stand his screams...that evening my sister took him off me and gave him formula...it was all better then. However my 3rd was another squeeler and I just out up with it for the 3 months...just getting thru each hour...we would pass her to each other whilst we were eating in the eve and my husband made me a sandwich left in the fridge for lunch. when my sister had another screamer her husband was determined that "this could not go on like this"...everyday something arrived in the post from the internet, they did cranial ost..he just walked him around the neighbourhood for an hour or 2 when he got home int he evening...he screamed throughout and we could here him coming back as the wails got louder as he got nearer. ... in the end nothing worked....but it subsides and will all be over in a few weeks (when they are 10-12 weeks old)...I think everyone trys everything and I think the fact that their are so many products/suggestions etc means that nothing really works 100%...but some things work a bit for a short time for some...try and accept that you have a tough few weeks ahead of you and do what you can to cope...but I am not sure it is realistic to believe there is a magic bulllet out there...if there is we would all know about it!...with our number 3 screamer...my mum and my sister were convinced they could sort her out...so they sent me off all smug for a meal with my husband...but i returned to 2 very harassed women baby had scream for 3 hours...my mum has had 7 children...was one of 10...my dad one or 12...i have 60 first cousins we all live local...so there is are always babys around...so there was nothing they didnt know...sometimes you get a screamer...just try and take it in your stride...has no bearing on the gorgeous happy litte person who will emerge in a few weeks time...just think that you have to get thru JUNE...and life will be much better

cranial osteopathy can be expensive but there are charities around london that can provide free sessions- saw this one recommended www.fpo.org.uk You could just give them a ring..
I live up north so no good recommending people nr me! My GP is rubbish/really dismissive and I never got my dd referred because I was too scared to push for it.
In hindsight I feel so annoyed that I didn't!
At the end of the day if an older child/adult was screaming in pain they would be treated urgently but just because its a baby its ignored?!!
You know as your baby's mummy if something isn't right so be her advocate!!
How has she been today?

Hello Jennypenny. Hope you are still watching thread. I was trawling through threads looking for advice on sleep patterns etc and had to but in. Both my DS's had Reflux. Gaviscon worked for one, whereas it is not for new baby. I had tried all the over the counter meds, also. Been to docs, hospital, gave up on hv's advice. Was waiting on further pead appointment when I tried COLOCYNTH from herbal shop. After 3 days, it was like night and day. I cannot recommend it strongly enough. DS is now 12wks and much more settled, with feeding anyway! It cost £6, roughly, for the large bottle and lasts around 8wks.

I am still putting Gaviscon in the feeds because at the very least it has helped to keep the food down but the herbal med has helped with the wind, and agony which he was in for hours. Good Luck.

Hello - I've been reading this thread with interest as my DS has reflux and nothing seems to be working. Colocynth sounds interesting - where can you buy it? Thanks.

Penethea, sorry for delay in replying. I dont get on here every day!

Any herbal chemist will sell it. Google for one's in your area. I'd be very surprised if there was not one. I've also been told (on another thread I started) that Ranitidine is another med the doc can give which is similar to Gaviscon however I was refused this request from the hospital because seemingly they are all the same!?! I was prepared to put up a fight until I started using the herbal med which I do also use with the Gaviscon.

DS is now 14 weeks, sleeping through the night, and so much happier/settled.

Good luck, let mne know how you get on.

My lo had reflux and I found the only way to stop it was by cutting out chocolate completely (took a bit of work eliminating what was the cause - very miffed to find it was chocolate) - seven months on and i still can't eat it. For some reason it just makes her hurl. Tried to sneak a bit at Easter and got covered in vom the next day. That'll teach me. Hope it works out.

You have my sympathies - ds2 was like that and it was a nightmare - cd not put him down day or night. Had to resort to slings in the day (unless pushing pram then he'd stay asleep) and co-sleeping at night until he was 4 months then we moved him into the cot and swaddled him.

re co-sleeping - it was a godsend and I did it safely and hygienically by having ds2 in a grobag on TOP of the duvet with a towel under his head to catch any milk/sick. fed him lying down and fell asleep once he was latched on. when he woke just rolled him over to my other side.

re the swaddling - it had to be very snug and he would only sleep on his side, we found out. so we used to lay him between 2 rolled-up towels. prob not very pc but we were desperate and it worked.

as he grew older he needed the swaddling less and went back into grobags.

good luck and hope you find a solution soon!