I don't deserve to be a mum

[37weeks]

I am 37 weeks pregnant and for the last few days I have been getting pains and twinges that come to nothing. I am so desperate to go into labour and my hormones have taken a dive big time. I feel low and irritable and to get to the point I am being horrible to my DS aged 3.2

He has been potty trained for a while but recently he is refusing to poo in the toilet. Last week he did one on the living room carpet and this morning in his night nappy. I find it difficult to get down on the floor to clean him. I lost it, smacked him and was quite rough with him. I shouted at him that he should do it in the toilet

I know this is normal, for toddlers to regress sometimes. I know I should have been calm and said 'nevermind, next time try and get it in the toilet'. I know I certainly should not have been physically agressive with him. I don't normally believe in smacking, even when they are being naughty. Some of my friends have little boys the same age who are no where near potty trained and they are quite relaxed about it. They ask how I have done it so early and I feel guilty because I fear it is because I have been too pushy about it.

I have hugged my DS and apologised, but is it enough? I now feel sorry for this baby about to be born to such a terrible mummy. I had been enjoying this pregnancy and really looking forward to the new arrival but now I fear I won't cope. I am worried my terrible mood swings are affecting my DS and my normally very string bond with him.

I am racked with guilt

Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have moments that we regret.

Potty training is stressful anyway, without being 37 weeks pregnant and tired.

Hi 37 weeks,

The very fact that you are feeling guilty proves you are not a bad mum!

We all have our limits and I imagine they would be far lower when near the end of a pregnancy!

As for the potty training all children train at diferent ages my friend's DD is 2.5YO and potty trained mainly done on her own, no night nappy or anything, yet my DS is almost 3 and won't even go near a potty. I'm sure it's nothing to do with you being pushy you've obviously encouraged him and been a loving patient mum whilst he's been ready naturally! So well done you and DS

Can you take some time out from DS for an afternoon maybe and get a good sleep or put your feet up and relax read a book a magazine anything for some 'you time'?

Can you get some help for these last few weeks?

Thanks for understanding comments
.
My MIL is taking him tomorrow. She would help today if I asked but I think I am going to take him to his favourite play park and have some bonding time. He will be picking up on my stressed vibes and obviously aware that life is about to change!

Over all this has been a lovely pregnancy (apart from terrible sickness in first 12 weeks) but I had forgotten how difficult these last weeks are. At least with DS I could curl up in bed and have a good cry/sleep etc. It is having to put on a brave face for his sake. Oh well onwards and upwards. Tomorrow I will put my feet up and have a good blub at the birthing channels

Have a lovely day tomorrow.

oh yes 37 weeks - do do do get yourself some help!!! You are a great Mum the problem is a physical one - you need two more pairs of hands!!!!

Depending on your disposable income -

Actually Mary Poppins

A qualified Nanny who can also help with bubba when you go ooooooooh pop

A shared nanny

A babysitter

A friend or family member who you can pay back in kindness and by doing something lovely like baking a cake - (I am wittering now)

• When I was a teenager I helped out a lady in much your situation - It was fab for me and she paid me lots IMO (then) - I was buying as much as two cds a week wowza! But peanuts IHO to just be another pair of hands. It was a pretty good arrangement for both of us.

aaaaarrrr - x-post!!!!! tsssk tsssk tsssk - I am x-post queen of late!

Sorry 'bout that - Do have a lovely afternoon and a really good day tomorrow.

In my last weeks of pregnancy I went to a beauticians and had big big me time - it is a delightful memory why don't you book a session for tomorrow? Even a little something can make you feel good and it sounds like you could do with some yummy mummy pampering - real because I'm worth it time!!!!

as someone has said, the fact that you feel bad, and you're having someone to help you out, prove you're not bad. i can remember being awful and literally screaming at DS1 when i was pregnant with DS2 - he was only about 1yr old at the time.

I think almost all parents- pregnant or not- have times when they do / say something rotten and they feel rotten about it.

You are tired and round and hormonal- don't be too hard on yourself

37 Weeks don't be so hard on yourself. It is incredibly hard being a parent at the best of times, but when you add in all your pregnancy hormones, and the tiredness it's forgivable.

I spend most of my time analysing my behaviour towards my children and how me snapping affects them.

Please don't be so down on yourself, I remember doing something similar when I was heavily pregnant with my second son. I remember snapping at my first, grabing him and shouted right in his face(blush)all because he refused to go and get his shoes on.

We have all been there