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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Bringing up boys...

22 replies

MrsMerryHenry · 20/05/2009 21:11

Listen here

I'm listening at the moment. Do parents really hold back from cuddling their boys from day 1? My DS had no choice - he was always going to be smothered in kisses and cuddles, and will continue to do so until he tells me to stop! (then I just carry on when he's asleep! ).

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applepudding · 20/05/2009 22:20

My DS now tells me he hates kisses (but is OK with cuddles!) so I kiss him when he's asleep!!

cuppateaplease · 20/05/2009 22:33

DS is now 11 and kisses n cuddles are a bit of a no no - although I still sneak some in! But snuggling up on the settee to watch telly is still allowed

Tortington · 20/05/2009 22:34

i get kisses and hugs occasionally still at age 16 & 19

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MrsMcCluskey · 20/05/2009 22:41

I am always kissing cuddling, squeezing, ruffling and tickling my 2 boys!
DS1 tires to pretend he doesnt like it in fornt of his pals, but still snuggles up in fornt of the TV!

mollymawk · 20/05/2009 22:42

It seems odd. I can't believe I cuddled the DSs less than DD as babies - babies are pretty gender-less anyway, they're just babies. Maybe some people do though.

cory · 21/05/2009 07:27

what I remember best about ds's early years is his extreme cuddlability

indeed at 9, he is still very cuddlable

itsbeingsocheerful · 21/05/2009 09:38

My eight-year-old DS still demands hugs and kisses and has always been far more physically affectionate than either of his older sisters, who at best would only tolerate a cuddle after the age of about 4. The 15yo is probably more huggy now she has been since she was 18 months!

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 21/05/2009 09:52

My 13 year old still loves a big hug on a regular basis! He also wakes up when I go in to say goodnight and demands one then.

No chance of ds2 (18 mo) going uncuddled even for a minute-poor thing is cuddled, kissed and snuggled half to death!!

EvenBetaDad · 21/05/2009 09:57

DS1 and DS2 always have been cuddled and kissed lots although DS1 (age 9) hates any kind of physical affection anywhere outside the house just in case any of his mates see him.

wasabipeanut · 21/05/2009 09:59

I will buy this book as am intrigued but Sue Palmer is winding a lot of people up at the moment.

As for this cuddling business - my ds is cuddled and kissed constantly. "Can Mummy have a kiss?" is a question I seem to ask about 10 times a day.

I am so needy.

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 21/05/2009 10:03

I ask that often too, wasabipeanut, but sadly I rarely get the kisses from ds2. He hands them out often to others though.....

wasabipeanut · 21/05/2009 10:09

So hurtful plumprump I agree. My ds's nursery often tell me that he keeps running up to various staff members and other kids and planting kisses on their cheek.

I always have to ask.

Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 21/05/2009 14:15

at wasabi! This is how it goes in our household:

MMH: Gasp! There's something on your cheek! It's...a...
DS: (giggling) Kiss!!!

Could you try making it a game, rather than asking?

I have to confess (and have told DH this) that DS's cheeks are far more kissable than DH's. So he gets about a million more kisses a day. Poor DH.

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Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 21/05/2009 14:16

oops, just read wasabi's other post

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Mumwhensdinnerready · 21/05/2009 18:07

I always though boys were more affectionate?
I still get a good morning and goodnight kiss from DS1,13. DS2 , 11,still very cuddly but only in private.
I do clearly remember the day he dropped my hand as we approached the school one morning

BiscuitStuffer · 21/05/2009 18:27

My mum came across as very needy and I found it VERY cringey and still can't freely give physical contact with her.

Original poster

MrsMerryHenry · 21/05/2009 20:11

Interesting viewpoint, biscuitstuffer. I hope I am sensitive enough to respect DS's choices - e.g. if he says he doesn't want a kiss, I'll say that's fine and leave him. I'm conscious that I'm on borrowed time and so am getting all my kisses and cuddles in early . I hope this will also help to make him a more thoughtful and affectionate partner for someone lovely in the future.

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wasabipeanut · 22/05/2009 11:01

Ok, I have to point out that I'm not that needy. Was just being a bit jokey although I like MMH's approach!

I also respect ds's wishes on the matter although like MMH am very much aware I am on borrowed time!

ICANDOTHAT · 22/05/2009 11:18

I feel that as parents of boys, it is our responsibility to ensure their self-esteem is souring. We must love them, make them feel secure and nurture them as people, not as 'males'. We have to do this because our education system sure as hell will not. In fact, I personally feel many boys are set up to fail at school. (I don't want this to turn into one of them "Girl V's Boy' threads, that's not my point)

magicwashingpot · 22/05/2009 11:23

This is intersting - my friends with girls comment on how much more loving the boys are. Is it an age thing? my eldest is 4.

ingles2 · 22/05/2009 11:29

weirdly my boys have never really kissed, the come and offer their cheek or forehead. God knows why, I've always smothered them with kisses.
Cuddling is still a big thing, in fact it's getting more/longer as they get older.
Bedtime cuddles now seem to take about 1/2 hour, with just one more snuggle mummy...please...pleeeaaasse. They are now 8 and 9.5.
It's my favourite bit of the day

Mumwhensdinnerready · 22/05/2009 15:22

Look at this thread and make the most of all those cuddles.

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