I suspect my ds's friend has stolen his pocket money

[lossitoday]

I feel stupid that I didn,y put his money box away really but I suspect that my ds's friend who comes regularly from school has stolen about £15 out of his money box.
My ds went to count his money tonight as he wants to buy himself a new wii game and all of the pound coins had gone none of the two's ones etc had gone.
He is the only one that has been here.
What do I do in these circumsstances.

They are both 8

anyone please

Oh dear. Is there anyone in the house who could have borrowed it?

No I feel so stupid because there was an envelope next to it with twos and ones which my dad gave to me to give to my ds.
My ds asked me what it was while the friend was there and I stupidly said its some pocket money from your grandad put it in your tin.
I can only assume that at that point the freind latched on.
I am really upset about it he has become one of his best friends at school although he can be very naughty with his mom my ds has always played well with him.
He has been on a sleepover and alsorts and now this.
I know that I should never have him here again but of course its going to seem really odd to his mom, ds, etc to stop him coming without reason.
It just feels so tricky.

Could you give her a call and have a chat? I'm sure she'd understand and check his pockets. Surly she would know if he came home with a load of pound coins.

You need to phone the mum asap and explain the situation so the boy can give it back. There is no need to not let him ever come over to your house again, children do silly things without really thinking it through and as long as he returns it and apologises you and your DS should be able to forgive him and put it behind you.

Just never leave money lying around in future!

Oh dear its not something I feel happy doing in case she takes it funny accusing her ds that sort of thing.
Although she has had problems with his behaviour so would probably believe it.

:-( You do need to call her so she can check. I'd want to know if it was my child.

Would going down the "could you ask X if he has put the coins in the moneybox somewhere? as you can't find them but maybe they were playing with them" road work?

lossitoday have you contacted the mother yet to ask her?

You really must. it should be fine if you do it in a non-accusatory non confrontational way.

Let us know how you get on.

am not saying its right,but when i was little a friend of my sisters used to come and play alot at our home,the girl was from a very wealthy business family and had everything compared to us but i was older 8 or 9ish and had my ears pierced so had been bought as presents real gold,not of much value,character childrens earrings. now a couple went missing once and we never thought it could be this friend until she gave away the earrings to someone i knew at school because her ears werent pierced. we let the mother know about the incident and needles to say she was mortified but i tell you what it ended the friendship probably because of the mother, because we who had little had things stolen by her daughter who had everything, in her eyes, i think tread carefully you don't always know why they do it,perhaps bring it up in front of both children casually ie "wonder where the money could have got to?" just to look for a reaction

I am such a coward with this one.
No I haven,t asked yet deadbody I have chickened out.
My ds himself has said that maybe this friend has took it so I said to him ask him then.
My ds ran over to him this morning the friends older sister was taking him to school and I was a little way back so coudln,t tell what my ds was saying to him, but looking at his freind I have a feeling that he has done it because he was sort of looking down in a clammed up sort of way obviously saying that he hadn,t done it.
They thne both went off onto the playground with another mate and I think that was the end of it.
My dh is livid and doesn,t want him here again as he has never been keen on the kid anyway.
I am so dissappointed and feel useless with my inability to think of how to bring it out in the open but I don,t feel I can have him here again without getting this sorted.
I would be worried that the mom would take massive offence.

The mum may take offence, but it is still theft and she needs to know about it.

You may have to accept that a) the money is gone and b) she will fall out with you, even if her child does turn out to be responsible.

You can't leave it to DS to sort out - he's only 8 and doesn't want to lose his 'friend'.

I can't see why she would take offence. If her child's money had been taken she would do the same. Some children are really dishonest, poor ds may never get it back if you don't talk to her, he's too young to learn such a nasty lesson on trust

Second Saggy's "Would going down the "could you ask X if he has put the coins in the moneybox somewhere? as you can't find them but maybe they were playing with them" road work? "
The same thing happened to me as a child - friend was into my money when my back was turned. My mum phoned hers and my cash was found stashed in my bedroom where friend had hidden it. I still think she wanted to pinch it but chickened out.

we tried everything to get her to confess,once we knew she'd done it and before we told her mum,we even set up a sting,she took the bait and took more earrings,we knew before she left the home she had got more earrings and we got her doing handstands as a game to see if they would fall out then we were going to pounce for the confession!! kids what were we like