5 weeks residental training for new job, who should look after DS??

[bumpers]

Am working full time at the mo and have been f/t for 8 weeks which i absolutely loathe. I start a new job on 24th June which means I have to go away for 5 weeks on a residental course (Mon-fri)and it will be the first time I have left DS and I am dreading it. DS will be 15 months old when I go away.

He's been with CM for 5 months but we have served notice on to finish end of next week and he will start nursery when my training finishes. Main reason for this is that CM is so full on with DS that I sometimes feel that I am not his mum anymore, from what she tells me he gives her kisses and cuddles and has severe separation anxiety from her - I get none of those when I am with him and its breaking my heart.

Anyway....i digress, I am really stressing about what to do about childcare when I am away because I really dont want to send him back to the cm (who is happy to do the 5 weeks)because I am scared that DS will replace me with her because I wont be around but I'm also worried that f/t nursery might be too much for him without me around.

Hate how the CM relationship with DS makes me feel but think he might need the security when I am not around. Or am i being over-sensitive?

So confused and sad

can your partner/ DS's dad do any of it? can he take some leave to do some of it? even if one day a week. Who will be doing overnight care?

For your DS will it be less traumatic to stay with CM for another 2 months and THEN go to nursery after your course. He will be losing mum for chunks of time so would he benefit from having someone he is already familiar with as his daytime carer while your not around?

I know you are not very happy with CM, but if DS is happy with her I'd be tempted to live with it till this period of change is over, THEN change childcare. If its CM telling you your boy has separation anxiety away from her.. I'd question it a bit. WHAT do you think. If hes generally happy enough with you at home then supspect hes fine and she bigging up her role in his life. Not all kids at that age ARE very affectionate to parents, after all you are around a lot and the one set of people they can rely on to love them WHATEVER they do. Other people "might" have to have their love and attention "bought" with kisses and cuddles.

PS- not the fire service is it? coz the college at M-in M has an on site nursery.

DH will be doing the overnight care but no days due to his job, family cant really help either so I guess its the CM for now. Think your right about the 'change' period so its grin and bear it for now then.

The separation anxiety is something she seems to tell me about a lot, about him crying when she leaves the room and when she comes back he gives her huge sloppy kisses - which is totally different when he's at home. It really gets under my skin but he obviously likes her.

Not fire service, highways agency - think the training might be in m-in-m so will defo look into site nursery. Thanks so much for your advice, helps to hear it from a fellow mum :-)

Tis tricky isn't it. I am self employed and sorting out childcare is a nightmare. I had a block of ( good interesting well paid)work before christmas - 14 days, Dh could do teh 4 weekend days, no family nearby. SO boy started nursery with 10 days full time... wasn't a great experience for him and affected his next 3 months as a one day a week child at same nursery as he didn't trust daddy not to take him back teh next day as well... IYSWIM.
Boy was 2.8 at start of teh whole affair. In the past We have used 2 different CMs and a few friends helping out in return for baby sitting and my mum coming to stay for a few days occasionally if Dh has been unable to do overnight care ( he gets sent away ocasionally, I work VERY late nights most of teh times I work.)
In a rather long winded way I'm trying to say. We don't always get it perfect as working parents, but things tend to be forgoten about in time. Go with waht you think is best for you and boy atteh time and worry about the fall out when it happens.

Yep, it is very tricky. I have 3 weeks between leaving one job and going away on the training course so DS will be home with me, although I will be inducting him into nursery during those weeks. I think its mon-fri only so only 4 nights and my DH will be doing the pick up/drop off aswell - the nursery does all meals, nappies and wipes etc so would be a lot easier for DH during those weeks I am away.

My concern is that he may miss the close contact with someone (me/CM) in those weeks - but as I dont really like the arrangement at the moment, I think your right about making the whole experience worse by staying with CM. Am jealous enough already!

She can commit to those 5 weeks because she hasnt got many kids at the moment and will be losing all her charges come September (one is moving, the other is off to school) so when my DS leaves she will have to close as she cant find new work.

Anyway, thanks so much for your posts, think I will go with the nursery now, i'm sure DS will cope - he is a confident little boy as it is and will probably love the interactioN!

Thanks again

Glad you will have a few weeks to get your boy settled in at nursery before you go away. Does sound like it will be the easiest solution for you DH with all provided. is it near his work?
My one tip on settle in days - get DH to do some of them as he will be doing a lot of drop off and collect and needs to be recognised by the staff as teh person they should be talking to about your son.