Do I have to let dd have a biscuit later?

[HuffwardlyRudge]

Since we got in from nursery dd (3 yrs old) has

• Said she didn't want her sandwich, and then kicked up hell when I gave it to her brother, insisting she wanted it after all.

• Pinched two chocolates out of the fridge.

• Demanded pink milk and stropped mightily when I said no. Refused to sip water despite being thirsty.

• Appologised sweetly and asked if she could have a sandwich after all.

• Thrown sandwich on the floor, pulled it to pieces and tried to feed it to her brother. I think she ate a bit of the cheese from the middle.

So fine. I've been quite calm and said that's it now, nothing else until supper (we're 3 hrs ahead).

Thing is, she's got a friend coming over later and her mother is bound to bring some biscuits or cake to have with our tea (she always does).

I can't not let dd have a biscuit when everyone else is.

But it's very irritating to think that she's been such a ratbag and is now going to have a biscuit.

This is a small part of a longstanding battle about food. Dd thinks she should be allowed to live on chocolate and pink milk, and help herself whenever the fancy takes her. I feel differently.

I think at the age of 3 delayed punishment really doesn't work. By the time her friend is here she will have forgotten why you were cross with her and so will just see it as you being mean.

What did you do / say when she threw the sandwich on the floor?

i would ask your friend not to bring biscuits tbh

When she threw the sandwich on the floor I asked her to eat nicely.

It's not so much about delayed punishment (which I agree is a nonstarter at her age) but the fact that now she'll be hungry, so she'll eat biscuits, so she won't be hungry at supper time.

Right. Am going to let her have one biscuit if it would be mean and obvious not to let her, but that's it. Not another crumb until supper time.

This is about my lax parenting now I see it all written down. I'd usually get chatting and we're all having a lovely time and before I know it she's eaten 3 biscuits and helped herself to a pink milk from the fridge. And I hate having to interrupt the flow of conversation to stop dd from helping herself and the ensuing tantrum.

I am letting my daughter get her own way for fear of her making a fuss! I genuinely didn't realise that. Must do better.

why do you have pink milk in the fridge if you don't want her to drink it?

do you have what you call 'treat' food you use as a reward? hence withdrawing the biscuit as punishment? probably makes those 'treat' foods more desirable to your dd?

We have pink milk in the fridge because I have no objection to her having the odd glass of it. I don't want her guzzling it all day every day though.

And no, we don't have treat food or reward food.

Anyway, friend brought biscuits and dd had one. When she wanted another one I said no because it was getting on for supper time. Big tantrum, but no harm done.

Must buy lock for the fridge.