WHY??? The long and winding whinge. You should probably ignore.

[thenameiskerry]

I tried for 15 years to have a child, suffering miscarriages and heartache along the way. My DS came along as a most welcome surprise just after I turned 40. I love him to bits, but find myself wondering, is this it? Why do we go through all the heartache only to confine ourselves to the world of the baby, with no grown up conversation, adult company or time to do even simple things. My DP works all the hours god sends, and currently I have seen him for 5 hours in the last 4 weeks. He has a good job, but this is what it must be like to be a single parent. (Except I know real single parents struggle financially and probably wonder what the bloody hell I'm moaning about). I thought I had it cracked and had made a friend with a son the same age. Except I blew it. Her son kept hitting mine with progressively bigger and harder things so I suggested we go 'out' rather than our houses. She hasn't spoken to me since. Anyway, feel better for just putting it down in words. Maybe I should just go back on the Fluoxetine. x

sounds normal to me.

god i hated that stage - it gets better - thats all i can say ( until they hit 15 then its shit from there to)

what i am saying is - its perfectly normal to feel like this

there are no rainbows and balloons and mother mature isn't kissing you on your neck as you weave a lentil basket full of bunting cupcakes all the while breastfeeding and growing your own herbs, wheat, barley, hops, boddingtons bitter, cotton, keeping chickens, growing veg etc etc

its sometimes just shit - but it gets better

I'm the same, had miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies. Then I had my ds and 15 months later my ds. I love my children dearly but I was never a very good stay at home mum. I craved adult conversation and felt guilty to my children. Unfortunately, I was never very good at parent and toddler groups as I moved from the south up to the north of the country. Everyone had their own groups of people to talk to. In the end I set up my own business, I couldn't cope with it anymore. I think everyone's happier now as I can work around the kids.

It is hard with little ones. I think all Mums, particularly SAHMs wonder what the hell have I done? My advice would be to try and get out of the house as much as possible, even if it's just walks to the park. You will often meet other mums there, and whilst you probably won't form life-long friendships, it is someone grown up to talk to. Mother and toddler groups are also good, or maybe something abit more formal if you can afford it - some type of class together. Libraries often have mother and baby book groups (I mean where the adults can discuss books, not endless rounds of ROw Row Row your boat!)

Thanks chaps. I'm glad it's not just me thinking these things. It can make you feel so much worse when you think everyone else just 'does' so much better. Went to a different toddler group today. Much different to the one we've been going to. Smaller and very friendly, and ex-professional moms too so more in common. Lisylisylou, I think you're right - I used to run a big team of people and now it's just me and the little man! Shock to the system. Thanks again.