Honest feedback on routine for my 4.5 month old.

[HarryB]

Hi MNettrs. I'm seeking a bit of feedback on my routine for DS (this is down to some comments made by my MiL in that she thinks DS isn't stimulated enough - that ding dong is on another thread). I think I might be doing ok and DS has pretty much fallen into a routine rather than me forcing one on him but would really value your comments as my confidence is very low. A typical weekday would be as follows, sounds pretty rigid written down actually Please be honest:

0600: DS wakes, take him downstairs for feed of 8oz (he's 15lbs)
0700: play
0745: nap
0830: wakes, wash, get dressed
0900: feed 7oz
play, chill and nap till
1100: walk
1200: feed 8oz
play, nap etc until
1500: feed 8oz
1600: nap
1630 DH gets in and plays with DS.
we have dinner around 1800 and DS watches . No play after 1800
1830: last feed 8oz
1915: bath, cuddle, DS asleep by 2000 (99% sleeps through)

Many thanks.

This sounds like exactly the same routine I had for my son when he was a baby. Sounds like you are doing fine to me. Bit of advise carry on doing the above, you dont have to stick to the times ded on the dot. Sounds like you need some good old common sense support, you sound like a confident mum to me. Good Luck. Ignore all this stimulating rubbish, these mums have got too much time on their hands!

This looks great to me! I'm not sure what your MIL is thinking about 'stimulating' him - you are doing that loads!

Play doesn't need to be anything special - talking to him whilst walking / washing etc is play. Little ones at this age don't really do much else anyway - especially as some babies are really laid back and enjoy watching the world happening around them. They are stimulated by sights, sounds, people talking/moving, colours, smells etc - they will get that no matter what you do! It would be pretty obvious if he were bored - he would likely scream the place down until you do something about it!

I really wouldn't worry - sounds like you are doing great. MIL have a tendency to try and help (ie stick their noses in) but I would smile sweetly and change the subject .
PS very jealous sleeps through - mine 6 months and only done that 6-7 times. Grr!

Thanks loads. Sounds like I could be doing ok. I really need to have a bit of faith in myself.

Sounds like you are doing fine. I wouldn't get hung up on routine, to be honest. Do the things that are genuinely helpful - like a bedtime routine - and don't worry too much about the rest.

yes, sounds perfectly good to me! Your ds will be being stimulated just by being awake and seeing everything around him! You play with him,you feed and bathe him, he's looked after and sleeps - he'll be a very happy boy!

Sounds fine to me! Do you think that your DS is stimulated? Like Kirsty says, if he wasn't you'd soon know!
Are you happy? Getting out and meeting people enough?

Hensmum, I personally do think he is stimulated enough, but I have that nagging doubt when she says stuff. She thinks you should play with a baby all day long and doesn't believe in overstimulation.

You are playing with him all day long - taking him for walks, washing etc IS playing . With all the things going on around babies they cannot fail to get stimulation - even sitting quietly watching you watch the telly they will be looking at you, your facial expressions, hearing the noises etc. (Not that I'm advocating telly all day mind you ).

You can overstimulate a baby - but they will either cry 'cos they can't handle it or else they will sleep.

Babies develop at their own pace - and they will do it whether you like it or not, so stop worrying !

You are doing great by the sounds and you seem to be getting some good advise. All this stimulating stuff drives me round the bend. Dont these women have housework and iroing etc to do. Who on earth has time to play with a baby all day.

luvoneson, exactly. Does she think the house cleans itself, or the dinner flies into the oven. I'm very grateful that DS sleeps through so I can use his nap times to get housework done.

Sounds perfect to me.

Sounds great. If its working why try and change it I would be inclined to dress at 7 rather than play and play after the nap at 8.30.
At this age dd1 was up at 7 and fed, dressed and play sleep 830-11 feed, play sleep at 12 until 2 230 feed play short nap 430-5 feed at 630 bed at 7-7.

You know him best, you're the one who looks after him every day. Your MIL has probably forgotten exactly what it's like looking after a small baby and just remembers the nice play times, not the times when baby just sat and watched her wash up etc.

FWIW, I wish I hadn't played with DS so much when he was smaller as he won't play by himself now (at 19 months). I always felt guilty if I wasn't playing with him but he was quite happy to be left to his own devices for a bit.

I agree with everyone else. It sounds like you have a happy baby. Any person, both children and adults alike, needs to have time alone to do their own thing, process information, etc. You will also go nuts if you try to be an entertainer all day.

But when does he have his violin lesson?

Wow! Sounds like you have it sorted. fantastic that you have such a lovely routine. And you say he fell into it by himself?? That's fantastic.

I have 2 ds's. Ds1 will be 3 next month and ds2 nearly 8 weeks. I never sat and played with ds1 all day. Not to say that I never spent any time with him but he was often happy to just play by himself while I did housework, cooking etc. He can now happily entertain himself which really helps now that I have another one.

If you think you can't play all day with dc1 it gets even harder when yuo have 2nd.

I think you're doing great. Sounds like you have a happy, content baby that is well looke after. I hope my ds2 turns out to do as well as yours - I'll be happiest mum ever!

Give yourself a massive pat on the back cos you're doing brilliant. And ignore mil. I still get criticism from mine about ds1.

LOL at hg. Another vote of it sounds fine. Honestly if you have another one then you wouldn't have the opportunity to hyper stimulate it 12 hours a day, so why do it with Number 1.

HensMum when DS was younger, I didn't relentlessly enterain him but now at 3 he is still fairly insistent that I get in the ball pit, play with his cars etc. etc. so I don't think it makes that much difference. Am seeing encouraging signs now though of playing with cars for reasonable length of time without mummy intervention required.

at hullygully

I think you're overthinking this. If you had a third or fourth baby, you'd think so too! Just live your life, and let him live it alongside you - that's enough stimulation for a baby. And when it isn't enough, he'll let you know - when you put him on the floor he'll 'play' with things. Then just give him things to play with - saucepans, spoons, bricks, musical toys or whatever you've got that's safe.

HarryB
I think it sounds like you're doing great. At this age they sort their own routines, and they change all the time. Shorter naps, fewer feeds etc etc etc.Ignore your MIL. Mine told me I was making a rod for my own back because I cuddled my DS (now 16 months) when he cried! You 'doing' your own stuff is stimulating for him. All babies need is food, warmth and love. Tell your MIL to go multiply.