Super mummy tips wanted on how to survive

[GoingLoopy]

I am a sahm of 3 dcs (dtss 2 years and ds1 4 years). I seem to spend most of my day frustrated, annoyed (sliding into anger and mild aggression) as I try to control their uncontrollable behaviour. Most of the time at least one of them will be grizzling, whining or crying. They fight and torment each other almost constantly and when not they are pushing each other on to do things to annoy me. They never listen to anything I tell them to or not to do and I end up physically restraining them t control them. I want to be a loving compassionate mother who sits surrounded by her 3 content kids reading books (I try and they end up fighting) and walking through the forest together collecting things to do art work with (I end up yelling at ds1 for chasing the dts into the stinging nettles even though I've told him 10 times to stop).
I believe in positive parenting but am pushed so far every day that I don't even know what it is anymore.

I think its based on the book I mentioned before which is american. The author is Carolyn Webster Stratton.

Loopy - I know what you mean and I thought that only professional help would make a difference to me too. However, I don't have the time or financial resources to access it. I hit upon the 123 Magic technique after trawling Mumsnet old threads searching for advice. I'm not normally evangelical about anything but it really is working for us and it is also relatively simple to do. From what you wrote in your post at 21.35, as an outsider looking in, I would say that what you are doing 'wrong' is getting angry and trying to reason with them. It's nothing as subtle as body language or tone! Like you I have really lost it with my kids in the past and felt that I had become so sensitised to the fighting that I would get angry / tearful even before they really kicked off. Now I calmly start the 123 technique and get things back under some kind of control, without getting overly emotional or angry myself - this is the key aspect of it I think. HTH

goingloopy your DC are really pushing you,, i think twin toddlers are the worst thing in the world when they gang up on you,..my little horrors darling twins frequently get me to the breaking point, but i have discovered the power of jellybaff! ... trust me on this ....tis magic.... the power of the goo is amazing, can calm the most brattish child ,i just shove my Twins in the bath and let them get on with it, >>....try get some help in, even if its a friend/ teenage neice /or someone you pay , you need some back up.....this is a difficult stage and it wont last forever.

I hope you have had a better day today goingloopy.

Its been a while, but wanted to give the lovely MNs that gave me support an update!
After my huge meltdown I called the lady from the parenting course - dh did the course with her about 2 years ago. I had a long conversation with her on the phone and then she came and did 2 hours with me at home with the kids. She gave me small pointers, i had to be pretty tough with the boys, dts are still the dts (much happier though because I'm much happier), but ds1 is being a really lovely, helpful little boy again. Its given me my confidence back and I'm feeling much happier, can laugh and have fun with the kids again and have the confidence to keep them under control. Also hAve a woman to take the kids one or two half days a week until ds1 starts school in August - but don't feel that happy about it as its really expensive and she didn't even check the names of the dts (lack of interest I think - they are 'identical' and difficult to tell apart if you don't know them weel), I forgot to tell her and when I picked them up I asked her and she didn't have a clue.

Its a small step, but feel as if I have a life again and am not being ruled by uncontrollable kids.... do need the parenting course lady to come and give dh some instruction as well though !