'At risk register' or children's home - which do you think works best?

[PaulaYatesBiggestFan]

For want of a better phrase

Samantha Morton ( victim of abuse at home and in a 'home') says being 'in care' despite the abuse - means that she is here today

I err that way....

Can children's homes work ? how can we make them work?

Well.... only 20% of children in care are in residential homes- the majority are in foster care, and a significant proportion actually still live with their own parents, on care orders.

I believe the care system is extremely damaging- young people who have been in the care system have the worst outcomes of any disadvantaged societal group in terms of educational achievement, chances of being a teenaged parent, experience of mental ill health, involvement in the criminal justice system, and life chances.

The question is would those individuals have such poor outcomes if they remained outside the care system? Possibly- children placed in care are already traumatised and damaged in the main, and this trauma is in all likelihood what leads to reduced life chances, however the nature of the care system inflicts further irreparable damage.

That said, I think that a system set-up and run the right way, manned by well-trained, knowledgable people could be extremely healing, but it is entirely utopian.

I have to ask- do you think care would have saved/helped you?

Personally I think that while it would have removed me from the situation I was in, it would have brought a whole new raft of problems with it.

Neither is ideal I would suggest. It depends on so many factors, the reason for removal, the recation of the birth family, what the foster family are like, extended family and so forth.

I really think that generalising is a bad idea.

Children are best raised in a consistent and secure environment, where they feel loved and valued wherever that may be.....

Obviously that should read 'reaction'

I did also mean to say that I don't think an 'ideal' situation exists as EachPeachPearMum says it is utopian....

(A cereal packet family - 2 parents and 2 kids) can be damaging if the parents do not provide the appropriate care for kids)

i do eachpeach i do agree with samantha morton

i used to dream of a childrens home and indeed when abusive mother left father became abusive

for me it would have been a relief...

flip side is that i worked hard academically and managed to leave home to go to university ( my friend recalls i was the only one did not want to go home each term end) but there i met my dp

i think there is a PLACE for childrens homes...they can be good- they should be able to be loving secure places.....

seems much less 'behind closed doors' to one as naive as me

for children being abused by their caregivers, yes i think childrens homes work. for children whome are there because of unruly behaviour, i dont think they do, they definately need to be in specialised foster care(not a specialised residential unit-this usually increases the problems)

there definately needs to be higher standards for childrens homes though eg workers must hold relevant dp/deg most are staff by people with no formal qualifications in the field and i think(know) this is absolutely wrong and in most respects doesnt work.

agree glastonberry

also think bettter a stable alneit childrens home for children than being shipped from foster carer to foster carer every 6 months

Also just to add that children can(and do) dissappear whilst on the at risk register and may not reappear to ss for many years, if at all.

imvho ss take the policy of "children should be at home with their parents whenever possible" far far too literally

Paula i agree. i preffered my residential unit to my foster carer for many reasons despite the frequent caos(sp?) at the unit.

again agree glastonbury

the examples we see in the press and the thousands of others behind closed doors

i wanted to be taken from my parents but fear the intimacy of another 'family' unit would not have suited me

i must be odd to have wanted a childrens home

even now i still think it would have been better in many ways

even a crap one

I think support in the family unit is a 'best option' in most cases but I realisae there is a lack of continuity with this social workers change and families dont always 'accept the need for support'.

I think that in utopia most children would live in a home with support or in a childrens home with a good staffing.

I disagree a bit with GG and think whilst qualified staff are a neccesity we also need hands on carers in the homes not neccesarily those with paper qualifications those with space in their heart to love children.

I grew up in a abusive home there is no doubt in my mind I would have been better in care - but my stepfather was good at spinning lines to social workers who chose to believe him when he said we were fine.

As a result I am emotionally bruised from my teenage years but I am also able to help children who are like i was- i have several children who come to my home and i support them with a listening ear and common sense- its not unusual to find i accidentally buy bits and bobs for these kids but as im quick to point out i dont do it for thanks for admiration - this is me passing it along cos I had some bloody good people care for me albeit quietly when I was growing up and without them my life could be totally different.

nickschick how inspiring

are you a volunteer or just do it as part of your day to day life?

nick i agree to an extent but there must be a balance , I think there should be at least 1 member of staff with a formal qualification in the unit at all times weather that be dip/deg SW, or psych/other. I have seen countless times situations getting way out of control and staff not really understanding what was happening around them. Having loving people is great but alongside having people who understand the behaviour/reasons for it and how to work with the YP to manage it

No this is the bizarre thing - kids find me.

Its weird and hard to explain but its a usual thing for dh to open the door to a sobbing teen or an angry lad and he directs them straight to me,social services asked me 2 years ago to take one of these children on- I couldnt she was a girl i have 3 ds and a small house so it couldnt happen.

I used to volunteer at the youth group but my own dc went and it infringed a bit on their space iyswim.

GG definitely there needs to be qualified people I was suggesting in addition, a kind of an auxhilary(sp?)carer.

wow nickschick you must have a way with them...

i find it easy with other peoples teens

sligtly more 'trying' with my own!

ty pybf....Im not dead easy on them if they come and im doing jobs, they have to help.

Im not even sure myself how it starts cos of all the kids I 'have' theyre not related and from different social circles,it generally starts with a whirlwind examples - v ill parents,abusive dads,mixed up kids who have problems at school - I might not particularly know them but they tell me whats bothering them and i try to help - im not gushy im quite direct for example one of 'my' kids was expelled from school for lighting a fire we spoke about where he would go next and how he felt and stuff and i managed to persuade him to attend every placement his courseworker could find - hes now going to college in sept and is a v nice lad - another kid just needed to chat about her ill mum some of these kids just need to talk some need to be close to someone and others need to be told straight.

At the moment i have a sad case that obviously i wont go into on here but i see this kid 3-4 times a week and she is doing well despite her situation.

I sound a bit full of myself explaining this - but im not honest, all these kids were me 20 years ago.

god yes nickschick - make it 25yrs and i would have loved having any adult to talk to

sadly not

I've been in a childrens home & foster care. Being in both of them places was a LOT better than being with my Dad when I left care. I wish I could have gone back into care and not lived with him tbh.

I suffer long term depression & had my dc's at 22 & 23.

claire - thankyou for posting

how old are your dcs now - have you sought any help?

Dd is 3.2yo & Ds is 2.1yo
I'm on my own with them, I got out of and away from my Dad as much as possible. Which ended in me being in a controlling/dv relationship abroad for 5yrs.

I have sought help for the depression (counselling/ad's) but I haven't dealt with a lot of the past. I'm not even sure I want to, more is coming out over the years about my Dad and I hate it.

My mum died when I was 11yo, Dad was due in court and instead he went on the 'run' to Spain with myself & my sister, we were there 7-8mths before returning to the Uk, where he was arrested and myself and my sister put into a childrens home, then care and moved about a LOT for 18mths. Despite the moving about a lot care was a million times better than living with my Dad for the next 4yrs.

It was pure hell tbh, an alcoholic & a paedophile for a father. The social worker was shite, would call 2-3 days in advance of popping around to see how we were doing, which gave dad time to clean the house & sober up. The social worker stopped checking/visiting after 6 mths so we were then left to it.

claire - do you have CAT

i was left with a shit for a father and taking action has done wonders for my health....

feel free to CAT ME x

Btw a couple of years ago a sw wanted my Dd (didn't have ds then) on the "At risk register".....what does it mean?!

I left Uk and went back to abusive bf shortly after so Dd never went on it, since being back in the Uk no sw's have been involved/contacted me

I don't have CAT but I don't mind putting my e mail address here...

claire dot hatfield at hot mail dot com

ok claire will email you x