Help please

[Tamarto]

My son is nearly 7, ever since he was small i've felt that there was something 'not right' about him. Not in a bad way just how he behaved and how he reacted to certain situations.

Things include

Being obsessed with things, more so than usual obsessions. E.G. when he was almost 2 he spent a whole party, with other children and people he likes playing with a balloon, ignoring absolutely everything else.

He has love blues clues since he was tiny, for a while it was all he'd watch, even now he will come home from school and go upstairs and watch it, he gets very upset if he can't for any reason.

He loves routine, and gets very uncomfortable if plans change or we try to do something spontaneous.

He doesn't seem to be able to read people very well.

I spoke to my HV and she referred us to a paediatrician. He saw various specialists ie occupational therapists/speech therapists, etc.

It was decided he needed Speech therapy which is still ongoing, and had hearing problems, (glue ear) which lead to him having his tonsils out. Otherwise it was felt all was well.

All through this process i felt that they were ignoring the issues that i was concerned about.

Last year we saw a school nurse who was very understanding and initially offered to refer us back into the system, but understood when i said i was reluctant as i felt they were not looking at the issues i feel exist.

A few days later i got a call from her saying she felt there was no problem the ST said she felt there was no problem (which i later found out to be untrue) and all she could do was refer us back, which i declined.

Fast forward to today i visited a different school nurse explained the above and she recommended it be referred back in as she feels things may have been missed!

I feel like i'm banging my head off a brick wall, that or imagining things I agreed to him being referred back to the paediatrician.

I'm not sure why i'm posting this other than in the hope someone understands how i feel.

My sons issues are not huge and individually seem non issues almost. I identify a lot with many posts to do with children on the Autistic spectrum, but when i've tried to explain that it gets brushed off as he talks to me and is very affectionate

To end this very long post I'd like to say thank you for reading this far. It probably makes no sense, but if you do have any input i'd be grateful as i just don't know what to do now.

People have asked why i don't just leave it because it's not bothering anyone, but i'm not sure that is the case.

I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I do see children who have these sorts of 'habits', for want of a better word, every day. I work in a secondary school, which has a very strong SEN department.

I think you should take the offer of a referral one more time. If you think there is a problem, however slight, then it is your right to help.

If you leave it, as has been suggested in the past, he may not get the help he needs and deserves at school. Especially once he's at secondary school. Speaking from having knowledge in my borough, I know that once they are at secondary school, the process becomes even harder than it is at primary school. I also know that in our borough it's sometimes about budget!

So-called "experts" dismissing ASD on the basis of a child being affectionate is awful! It is a complete myth that these children are aloof, they are often exceptionally affectionate. I agree that you should take up the referral, not to worry you at all, but because it doesn't sound like you've had anybody who knows what they are talking about actually listen to you yet.

Good luck with it, and please don't worry!

Thank you both, i will.

Short reply as doing bath time!

I have twin boys who are almost 7 and show a lot of the same signs as your son. They have always been a handful and there behaviour is becoming increasingly different to their peers (I keep being hauled into school). The SENCO (who is also one of their class teachers) mentioned aspergers so I took them to the GP (school nurse off sick with stress) and they are seeing a paediatrician in June. I have spoken to various people over the years about them but they have never been formally assessed.

I have no idea what will happen but I assume the process for getting some sort of diagnostic label be it austism, aspergers, adhd etc is quite a long one so I can't really tell you any more at the moment other than that I understand and you are not the only one going through this!

That's good to know anniebunny, the thing is his behaviour at school appears to be fine, and hist teacher went on maternity leave so there is no one there who has spent any lenght of time with him, i get the feeling that there wont be much help forthcoming from there.