Scared about poo

[mumsnetnovice]

So, my DS, 3.4, is terrified of poo. He's been potty trained for 4 months and is happy to wee on the loo, but as soon as he wants a poo he runs around the house hysterically denying he needs to do a poo. When he can hold it for no longer, he goes and waves a nappy under my face and cries for it to be put on. I have been putting on a nappy, without getting cross, hoping that that might help him be calm about it, but after four months the situation hasn't changed... Any one else experienced this? How do I change his attitude to it? I've never told him off, both me and my husband are open about doing a poo in front of him and showing him that it isn't a scary thing, he's never had constipation either that I know of so it's not that he's had a painful experience in the past. Really worried about it because it is stressing him out so much. PLEASE HELP! Oh, and I've tried making the loo a fun place, books, stickers, so that he's not scared... nothing seems to convince him... Of course all of his peers seems to have taken to it very easily, so seeing them pooing hasn't helped either. At wit's end. x

My son had issues at that age as well - as he got easily constipated and it hurt. Like you we were very positive etc. In the end we actually tried bribery. We bought 10 small action figures and each time he went on the potty or toilet we gave him one.

Just bumping this one as my dd is having exactly the same trouble - absolutely hysterical whenever she needs to poo. Have tried EVERYTHING - bribery, sweets, stickers, stories on the loo, nappies. I'm ashamed to say I have got cross with her sometimes - its just so frustrating that I can't reassure her.

Can anyone help?

My DS1 went through a very similar phase at around the same age where he would only do a poo in a nappy.

The first thing is to take the pressure off for a couple of weeks because pooing has probably become a bit of an issue. So no mention of using the toilet when pooing just put the nappy on and that's it. Even the positive rewards like stickers etc are part of the pressure. You don't want pooing to seem important or special IYSWIM.

After that you can try the toilet again and I made it clear to ds1 there was no more nappies at the end of the packet we were finishing. My ds1 was still very worked up the first time and would not sit on the toilet and ended up pooing on the bathroom floor. I gave him load of praise for doing a poo without a nappy and just cleaned it up. He was quite scared about the fact that he had poo on himself and when I was relaxed about it he did calm down. The next day when he needed a poo I sat him on the toilet with some bubble mixture and let him blow bubbles not only is this a distraction but the deep breathing and blowing helps get the poo moving. He was so distracted he didn't notice he was having a poo until it had happened (the look of surprise on his face was classic). Once he had used the toilet a couple of times it stopped being an issue so you may find if you can get over the initial hurdle you will make fairly rapid progress.

We also engaged in bribery in the form of chocolate lollipops for a couple of weeks until he had got going

Its very frustrating as a parent to have to carry nappies around for an otherwise toilet trained child; having to put a nappy on wait for the poo and then change it. Its very hard not to let that frustration show often by very enthusiastically trying every trick to encourage them stickers, books etc. When I did some trawling around on the web and spoke to some people who worked in his nursery everyone said back off for a bit and take the focus off the pooing issue otherwise the kids can build it up in their minds to some enormous issue.
HTH

Just thought I'd update you all. My son is now pooing in a potty. That's a big thing for us. Two weeks ago, we started our campaign of zero tolerance. No nappies; either poo in yer pants, on the floor, in the loo, anywhere but not in a nappy. He got all upset, did it once in his pants, hated it, then came up with the idea of having the nappy IN the potty... did it like that twice and now he is very happy sitting on the potty with no nappy. In fact he's become a two a day man rather than a once every 48 hours when he absolutely has to.... Now I have to conquer the loo...

We'd done the nicey nicey for 4 months and so getting tough seemed to work for us and he is far happier as a result... maybe worth a try amiandlils?