DS won't wear hat, won't wear suncream, won't come inside ...

[ScarlettCrossbones]

... hot sunny day ... would you let him burn????

Do you really think anyone is going to say yes?

Don't let him out then. Until he has suncream on. If he won't wear a hat, smear suncream on his head: reckon he'll change his mind.

I agree not to let him out. It's sunblock, hat or he stays in. Let him scream etc. You are in charge here, not him.

How old is he?

He's 4. He's out in the garden already ? if I physically have to lift him up and bring him inside there will be a kicking and screaming match ...

Under the age of about 15, no I would not let them burn.

Well, it will have to be a kicking and screaming match that you win won't it?

I think this is one of those things that is non-negotiable, like car seats etc. Most sun damage that leads to skin cancer is done in the first 20 years of life apparently.

Kicking and screaming it is then. Don't back down on this. It's a safety/health issue. Never back down on these. You are the boss, he does as he's told.

We have loads of these fights issues with dd. She won't put her coat on when it's cold, won't put her hat on when it's warm.

She gets picked up and marched back inside the house, and she soon changes her mind.

A 4 yr old shouldn't be allowed a say in matters of safety. The parent is in charge - if it's a kicking and screaming match, so be it.

I know. Thanks!

I guess what I was really asking for was a way of wording it that might persuade him. I really am doing anything I can these days to avoid the screaming bit ? he gets upset, I get upset, authoritation mummy wins, yeah, but it's a hollow victory.

Kids scream, it's a fact of life. You really can't let him get away with things so he doesn't scream! You'll be making your life so much harder in the long run. You need to stick to your guns, show him who's boss. If he screams you ignore him. It's better this way. Honest! He'll be one of those kids who screams to get his own way. This isn't good. Stamp this out now! It'll get harder to solve in the future.

Non negotiable. Outside = hat and cream. Otherwise you get a lifetime of him thinking he calls all the shots just by saying no.

Adopt Mary Poppins voice and do 'darling, just going to put on a bit cream since its sunny' totally ignore the screams, wrestle him if you have to, and then smile and kiss and off he goes. You are totally allowed to swear inside your head

Its only a hollow victory if you do it in an angry way. If you smile and are cheery, he understands you can't hear his screams and they aren't bothering you and therefore he should feel 'what's the point of screaming'. Might take a while but that is the long term theory.

And anyway, kids never, never do what you ask. They are always up for a challenge or bribery................

(1) bet you can't get your cream on faster than me........

(2) put this suncream on and you can have 4 dolly mixture.........

Its like puppies

"authoritation" ???? Where did I type this from?!? I meant authoritarian, of course.

"(1) bet you can't get your cream on faster than me........"

I like this approach, frumpy, but have tried it and he's just not interested!

"(2) put this suncream on and you can have 4 dolly mixture........."

Nope, no way. Don't do bribery. THAT's what makes life more difficult in the long run imo ...

I get your points about not compromising a 4-year-old's safety, I really do, but just think there must be something better than just accepting the k & s ... sigh, maybe I'm being too idealistic.

what frumpy says. As long as you stay unconcerned it won't be a hollow victory at all. but if he works out that you are afraid of confrontation, he will make use of that.

Rather than having to bring him back inside how about not letting him outside until he has his suncream on?

Have you tried the sun cream wipes? Or the coloured sprays so he can draw a picture on himself and then rub it in?

We do 'if, then' negotiation (I have a 4.5 yr old DS with Special needs and a very stubborn streak)

IF you let me put this suncream on THEN you can stay outside to play.

My DS wants to be outside from the moment he wakes, every day no matter what the weather. We have had kicking and screaming, particularly when it is time to come indoors.

I have recently completed a 10 week parenting course (called The Incredible Years) which has completely changed my approach to these situations - I used to be a banshee with out of control DS, I am now a calm non shouty mummy with an eager to please child. It was bloody hard work and involved impementing time out (eventually, having done the foundation stages).

I would have been the op previously for sunscreen/hat (and everything from leaving his seatbelt done up to not hitting his sister) life is way calmer now and we really enjoy family time.

agree with negotiation, but of course that depends on your being able to actually force him to stay/come indoors if he won't put his sun screen on

the one thing that is definitely not on is risk him being burnt= added risk of skin cancer when he is older, because you get stressed by shouting