tough love / pushy mother - guilty but it worked - I think.

[carocaro]

DS2 aged 7 has just learned to ride his bike properly, it was a struggle for various reasons, but he is fab at it now. He has bee desperate to ride to school for a few weeks so today was the day. But half way to school he got pissed off at the wheelie bins on the street and had a teary tantrum and cried and said he could not and would not do it and he hated his stupid bike and kicked his bike lots.

I tried the nicey nicey you can do it approach but to no avail so I got tough and told he to get on his bike (very Norman Tebbit? was it him with the miners?) and get on with it, he could do it and he will do it, to darn well get on with it and now GO GO GO!

I felt like a Russian gymnast coach brow beating him. He said he hated me.

Anyway.

He did manage to cycle all the way round and loved showing off cycling in the playground, against the rules but hey ho.

So he did it. I feel I was kind of right to get tough and hard, even though he was whining and sobbing and I felt harsh and mean and still do!

I personally think that's fine (assuming you weren't making him cycle 10 miles or something!). He's seven, and needs to understand he can't simply not do things because they're a bit hard. He wanted to cycle in the first place - giving up halfway would presumably have been very inconvenient. Sounds like he felt very proud of himself in the end!

I am going to be doing this kind of thing this summer - my DS (10) still can't swim - he is very sporty on dry land, but he is v. skinny and gets cold easily so hates the pool etc. I will be making him go to an intensive swimming class for 10 days in the summer hols, because otherwise he will never learn....its MONTHS away yet and he is already complaining, and saying that I'm mean...

I think calling yourself a pushy mum is a bit harsh! I think at this age they still try crying to get out of tough situations, but they are also old enough to understand that giving up is the babyish option. Sometimes a bit of tough talking along with encouragement works wonders and helps them through this in-between phase. I am going through the same with my dd. I feel a bit mean sometimes, but I know she listens to me and it is starting to help her deal with new experiences.

Sometimes they need a kick (not literally of course) up the jacksy, it gets worse as they get older.