Very fustrated that three yr old ds wont eat

[Trikken]

Ds is very fussy with food and is basically living on bread and butter, cheerios, weetabix and bananas .He used to eat baby food without any problems (but wont try that now). Every night I'll plate him up a meal that is the same as ours but a lot smaller and try to be relaxed at the table but he wont even try it,he says he doesnt like it before its even been in his mouth. i've tried asking him to try one bit, but i get nothing, even tried bribing and sitting with him for hours trying to coax him to eat. so i end up getting stressed and sending him to bed without tea. i try to limit sweets as i dont like him having them but am having trouble with pils who seem to bring a big bag of sweets over with them every time they drop him off from having him every other sat.he'll only have a few and then i'll take away the bag so have loads of bgs sitting in my cupboard. I have told them i dont like him having them but they still do it.

Im getting fustrated as i dont know what else I can do and just feel like a failure, anyone with any tips for me?

Don't have any tips, sorry, but your ds sounds exactly the same as mine (also 3yo).

Mine eats weetabix, oatibix, cheerios (would only eat those if he could), tuna or sardines with bread ('not toasted'), bread and marmalade, yoghurts, plus occasional baked beans, bananas, or strawberries if he is having an adventurous day.

He refuses to eat potatoes, rice, pasta, and won't even try them (or anything else that is on a plate that has been polluted by them).

Keep telling myself it is a phase, etc, etc, but this has been going on for 18 months or so.

I speak from experience here, and I really feel your pain BUT you must remove stress and frustration from mealtimes for everyone's sake.

If I were you I would start by giving him a small plate of foods that you KNOW he will eat plus maybe one small thing that is new.

Let him eat what he wants. No bribing, no cajoling, no coaxing. After 20 minutes remove plate and let him get down. Do not comment on amount eaten. Do not offer pudding unless plate is empty.

Eventually (and I am talking months, maybe longer) he will start to try new foods.

Keep a fruit bowl on an accessible table and let him help himself through the day.

The sweets are a red herring IMO. A few sweets every other saturday are not going to affect his appetite. You may not like it but unfortunately that is what grandparents do and actually, letting go of some of the control regarding is a GOOD THING!

Good luck - it is tough but it will get better.

• regarding food

ohdear - your ds's diet is GOOD!

Plenty of protein, dairy, oily fish, pulses.

Try and relax.

My ds stopped eating almost everything at 13 months. He will be 4 in June.

He is still fussy but the method above has allowed him to expand his diet at his own pace and without stress. The most important bit is that you don't TRY to be relaxed but that you ARE relaxed.

They won't starve.

His diet is not bad at all. You need to stop worrying. And sweets every other saturday are not a bad thing! Let him eat them. I'm not surprised your PIL still give them to him. What on earth is the problem with sweets every other saturday? Children need calories.

Agree with NotSoRampantRabbit.

And do not send him to bed without any food, he's three years old, he should not go to bed hundry.

Thanks for all your replies, I will have to find a way to be relaxed about it. in general i wouldnt be worried about a few sweets but when I say a bag of sweets i mean a carrier bag, stuffed full of packets of smarties, haribo bags, wine gums and whole packs of chocolate bars, plus all the chocolate and sweets he is constantly eating whilst he's with them whenever he wishes cos he " wont eat anything else" when he's there.