What would you do - parenting dilemma

[pinksancerre]

dd 10 has a friend who appears to have a tricky home life. Her mum is an alcoholic and she has a difficult relationship with her mum's partner. She confides in my daughter regarding her problems.

She threatens to run away

We live locally and she comes round. If she comes round after a fall out - should I send her home, or let her stay here chill

My friends parents had a good rule when we were growing up - anyone was welcome to stay as long as their parents knew where they were; no harbouring fugitives. You could let her stay as long as she or you tell her mother.

Stay & chill but get her to call her family to let them know she is safe. That way they can't accuse you of interfearing and she has a safe haven.

I obv meant - stay here and chill

That sounds like a great rule, pp. What pp said, pinksancerre.

Also, if this little girl is a school friend I'd be tempted to raise it with the headteacher in case a social services referral is warranted.

I think it depends on what is the "norm" where you live - around here most parents would freak out if their 10 yr old disappeared after an argument - so I would say in that case to at least phone her mum to let her know she is safe. However, I appreciate that in some areas kids have a bit more freedom or in the case of your dd's friend, maybe there are issues at home that mean that they come and go on their own a bit more..

It is good she has your dd to talk to but it may become a burden for your dd (I am still bothered about a friend telling me when I was 11 how her dad beat up her mother and swearing me to secrecy )

Agree with your point grapefruit. We are a really 'boring' family. Dh and me, 2 children, house car, jobs etc. My dd first found out (so did I) when my dd friend was upset about her mum going away for a detox for 4 weeks. dd did talk to me about it as she was quite shocked and she does offload if needed.

Thanks for that pp. dd's friend is here now, with mum's permission, although allegedly was drunk when giving this permission. dd friend does have more freedom (we live rurally)and walks to and from school and has a house key. Sometimes goes home to an empty house. dd friends mum has my home number and mobile number.

dd has just asked if her friend could stay tonight as she doesn't want to go home with her mum drunk.

god that was longer than expected

killed my own thread

All you can do is ring/text and ask if she can stay. I would talk to teacher or head at school as well just to make sure everyone's aware. Good luck and good on you for caring.